“Want to meet for dinner?” he said.

“Sure!”

I imagined some quiet, romantic corner — white wine, tapas, candles lit. Wait, does that kind of corner even exist in Manhattan?

“The ___ Grill,” he said, and I paused.

I’d been there many times with baby Mae when we lived in New York: it’s a fast, loud, family-family restaurant. Definitely not romantic. Either he was making a subtle point — we’re just friends, got it? — or he wanted a hearty beef dish, served fast, because he was hungry. (As men know, we women can read into everything.)

I was inside the restaurant when he called to say that he was parking. So, I went outside to meet him. As he crossed the street, he was pulling on a shirt over his white undershirt. How cute was that? He was getting dressed in the crosswalk!

Otis’ first words? “When I saw you earlier, I don’t think I told you how pretty you look.”

We shared a long, sweet hug on the sidewalk. But I was nervous. It was so intense to be touching a man on whom I’d had a crush for so many years.

I did what I do whenever I’m nervous. I spilled everything: about my book, and the fact that he got a whole chapter in it. I wanted him to hear it from me first. I told him that just seeing him on his route made me feel like a woman again.

He took it well.

“You’re making me blush,” he said.

He also added, “You sure did get a lot of deliveries!”

Then I blushed.

“Did you bring me a copy of your book?” he said.

I shook my head, freezing up. What would he think after reading my detailed fantasies about him? I sure got detailed.

“Will you send it to me?” he asked.

“By UPS?” I said.

He was just how I remembered: a relaxed, sweet, friendly guy (he is a pro at customer service, right?)

But I was still in my reporter-mode, which I do whenever I’m restless. I asked him a string of questions: about his daughter, his long work days, his last relationship. I wanted to know what he thought about all those times I’d asked him into my apartment for lemonade. He laughed again.

I also asked him if he was in a relationship. I know: you, my readers, pointed out that I had to see him without any expectations. Still, I did have one: I wanted to kiss him. But if he was in a relationship, I didn’t want to jeopardize that.

“No,” he laughed. “You think too much.”

Then he added, “I think it’s so cool that we’ve stayed in touch all these years. It’s really special.”

After dinner, we sat in his car and took photos, using my automatic timer. (They’re PG, but they’re private.)

“I like the way you smile,” he said. “It’s sensual.”

I thought we might kiss right then, in the car. But we didn’t.

It was a warm summer night, and he suggested we find a spot to sit outside. We drove east a few blocks to Central Park. There was an empty green bench outside the park entrance.

He gave me a bottle of water. He said that we should watch out for rats. After all, this was Central Park.

Then he pulled out his bottle of bug repellent. “Mosquitoes love me,” he said.

“I see why,” I said.

As we sat on the bench, our knees touched. It was almost midnight.

“I really like the way that you say ‘Bye’ on the phone,” he told me. “You carry it. I love to hear it.”

No one had ever told me that before.

We were holding hands. Then his phone buzzed. He let go of my hand to look at his phone. He didn’t say who was calling, and I didn’t ask. But who would be calling him at midnight?

Image of UPS truck from Tree Hugger

Here’s Joseph, the divorced dad of three children. He finalized his divorce more than two years ago and sounds like a devoted dad.

Joseph recently fell for a single mom of two kids, who “went through a divorce a few months after I did.” They were friends first, and to complicate matters, their kids are friends, too.

“During our divorces, we became very close. Recently, we decided to take it to the next level– I’m very attracted to her. I have told her that I really care about her–”

So, what’s the problem, you wonder?

“She says that she doesn’t think she will could ever fall in love again,” Joseph says. “I asked her ‘So, are we a couple?’ She just laughed and said ‘We are just friends with benefits.’ “

“Look, I am not a teenager anymore. Sure, I’m having fun, but I want — and need — more in my life. Should I hang on and hope that things will turn around?”

I was blunt with Joseph. I told him: this woman is being very honest with you. It doesn’t sound like she’s emotionally available to you. If you’re ready for a real relationship, move on.

I know that many of you have had similar experiences. What do you think? Any words of wisdom for Joseph?

Thanks!

Photo by Duchessa

And although there’s no dinero in this deal, One Condoms has made some really cool personalized condom tins, which I get to give away at readings! Here’s what the tin looks like (and, yes, Dad’s House, you will get a fancy one!)

So, yours truly is on the One® Design Contest Judges’ Panel! This is where you – my innovative, creative, smart, sassy readers — come in.

Below are some my favorite images — a few of which could appear in the next series of One® Condoms….

The designers have campaigned for their designs, the public has voted for their favorites, and now it’s time for the final review!

Here are the judging some criteria:

1. Rated PG-13 - These images will appear will be sold retail organizations and available to all non-profit organizations, which means that little eyes will see them

2. Imagery - The cornerstone of any great design is visual impact, right?

3. One-Liner - Funny, inspirational, witty, ironic and sexy?

Here are my favorites so far. Thoughts? Feelings? Reflections? Let’s hear them.

Yes, it was on my UPS man, whom I’d met when we squeezed into the elevator together of my apartment building. That afternoon, it was just him, Mae (on my hip), me, and his massive rolling cart.

Although nothing happened between us — except a goodbye hug on the street corner before I moved out to Cali — he and I have called each other a handful of times.

A few years ago, during a summer visit to NYC, I tracked down Otis, my UPS man, in our old ‘hood. He looked exactly the same. No, actually, he looked better. He had a girlfriend.

Amazingly, he still had a photo of Mae taped inside his truck. I told him how nerdy my UPS man in California was, and he laughed. That was that.

Before you accuse me of having “a thing” for men in uniform, let me set you straight: I think it’s just a thing I have for men in uniform who deliver packages.

So, get this: Mae and I are headed to NYC in two weeks and… I called Otis. He called back a few hours later.

When I answered the phone, it sounded like there were big trucks rolling past. Was he working on a Sunday?

Him: “I’m at the laundry mat.”

Me: “You’re calling me while you’re washing laundry?” (Call me a weirdo, but I found this really sweet. A man who washes his own underwear is very sexy in my book.)

His voice is still so sweet. I asked about his daughter, he asked about Mae. And then, the hook: he told me that he and his girlfriend have split up.

He says that he’d like to see me in NYC. (I don’t think he has read the book; if he had, I’m sure he wouldn’t see me.) I know it’s cliche, having a crush on my UPS man. Maybe you’ve read love that poem by Alice N. Persons?

“Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man,” in which Alice writes: “you bring me all the things I order are never in a bad mood… we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship you’re like a cute boyfriend with great legs who always brings the perfect present (why, it’s just what I’ve always wanted!) and then is considerate enough to go away”

Anyway, I’m already thinking that Otis and I will have a family-friendly rendezvous, say, a play date at the park where we’ll get some ice cream with Mae.

But maybe I should suggest an adults-only get together after hours? What do you think? I’m kind of nervous.

Photo courtesy of UPS… who knew that UPS was using hybrid trucks these days?

“Last night we went to sleep beside each other as we have for the last twelve years,” Theo writes in Chapter 1. The following afternoon, Theo discovered her husband had been using her bank card. He had a gambling problem, and she’d already warned him, if it started again, it would end their marriage.

End it did. In How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed, Theo describes how she created a new life for her and her two daughters. This includes trying to explain to friends and family what happened. She even considered building a website and sending people to an FAQ page, www.whatthe#&?!happened.com.

If you’re in Santa Fe, catch Theo at Borders:
500 Montezuma Street
Santa Fe, NM
Thursday August 7th at 7 p.m.

Or, her Seattle Reading on August 14:

Third Place Books
Lake Forest Park, WA
Thursday August 14th at 7 p.m.

Q: Has your ex-husband read the book?

Theo Nestor:
“As far as I know, he hasn’t read the book. He told me he didn’t want to. I tried to show some of the really good parts of him, like his desire to be a good father. I did not have any desire to write a story in which he was the villain. I wanted to write about my experience with divorce and how I got through the first couple of years.”

Q: At one point, you go to visit your sister with your daughters, and you sleep in the guest room with the kids. You write: “I feel like a child myself, as though in losing a husband I’ve lost some status in my family as well as in the world. I think sulkily about how a couple would always get their own room, but an insignificant single mother, you can just stuck her in that big old bed with her kids… I know this isn’t rational…”

Theo Nestor:
“Yes, the initial period after a divorce is often one of intense isolation and loneliness. Even though there’s this widespread acknowledgment that divorce is hard, there’s also these pervasive images in our culture of people moving on with great speed and grace…like Reese Witherspoon, Starbucks in hand, walking dreamily with new guy and her kids months after split.”

“But for most of us newly single moms, the reality is quite different–we’re home alone, making dinner, helping with homework, sometime crying ourselves to sleep—and very often we feel like we should be doing better, being braver, moving on more quickly. So it’s really important to recognize: This is grief. It’s lonely. It’s hard. But it does end. And you will, I promise, laugh and have fun again.“

Q: Do you think your daughters will want to read How to Sleep Alone one day?

Theo Nestor:
“One of my daughters would like to read it right now! It’s definitely an issue. I’ve asked her to wait and I’m trusting her that she will. There are multiple copies in the house and she’s thirteen, so it is a matter of trust… Someday she will read the book and I have to have faith that she will be able to tolerate the knowledge that her mother is human!”

Q: You met your boyfriend — a single dad who’s the primary caretaker of his son — on online? Do tell!

Theo Nestor:
“Yes, the boyfriend I mention in my acknowledgments, Kent, is the great guy I met online. Looking for love is like looking for a job: there’s no saying how long it’s going to take. Sometimes people find jobs the first day they look, though this has never happened to me… Anyway, I was fully prepared for it to take a long time, but I saw Kent’s profile the first time I looked on Match.com. We went out a few days later and we both knew that there was something special there.”

“We’ve been together for a year and half and it’s tricky to find time for each other as we’re both single parents. One thing that’s helped has been that he moved into my neighborhood, so whenever we have the chance we’ll meet for a walk or his son and him will come over for dinner.”

Single parents, here’s your chance to win a copy of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed!

For you, what has been the most challenging part about sleeping alone in a king-sized bed? In other words, when you first became a single parent, what was the most difficult for you?

Photo of Theo Pauline Nestor by David Hiller

When I first heard that Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong had split, I threw my hands into the air. There they go again: parading each other’s kids through their lives, and leaving someone else to clean up the streamers. Did they even try to have a relationship? Or, was it just about the weekend sex in hotels across the country?

But then I realized how judgmental that sounded. No one really knows what happened behind the scenes.

Within minutes after Kate and Lance publicly announced their split, the name-calling began (Google Kate Hudson today and you’ll see Kate referred as a harlot, a slut, you name it).

And Lance? There were a few harsh insults thrown out, but compared to Kate, hardly an eyelash was batted. There goes that double standard again — but never mind.

The truth is, no one really knows exactly how much their kids were involved.

To read how I weigh in on about Kate Hudson’s and Lance Armstrong’s high-profile breakup affects their children, please go to MOMLOGIC.com today.

Thanks for commenting here or there!

Photo of Kate Hudson at Fool’s Gold World Premiere from PRPhotos.com

That’s why I’m reaching out to you. Mark, a single dad of two teenagers wrote to me this week:

“I have custody of my two boys who are 17 and 14. We have a great time together. They are ‘cool’ with me dating and I always like to make sure that I get to know the person I am dating before introducing her to the boys. And I expect the same from her.”

“But recently, I dated a couple of single moms who didn’t wait very long before introducing me to their kids. After a few dates, they wanted me to meet their children. And then, they would ask, ‘So, when can I meet your boys?’ I felt uncomfortable.”

“In both cases, we are no longer dating. I wonder if their kids ask them ‘Where’s Mark? Why doesn’t he come to visit anymore?’ One little girl was so precious, and we got along so well. It broke my heart to stop being there all of the sudden.”

“I just want to do this right,” Marks says.

“From a woman’s perspective, do you think that the next person I date (I hope this will be soon!) would be offended if I told her that I didn’t want to meet her kid(s) yet?”

“How soon is ‘too soon’ anyway?”

“I mean, if it ‘feels’ right, does that mean it’s okay to meet them? I wouldn’t want her to think that I have a problem with kids because I don’t. And if there’s a real attraction between us, I don’t want to run the risk of blowing it because we feel differently about meeting each other’s kids.”

Here’s what I told Mark: I don’t have a teen (yet). Dating and raising teens? Help!

Single moms and dads, can you please give this dating dad your advice?

P.S. Mark’s older son “is interested in girls, but he’s yet to have a girlfriend, so I really don’t know what would happen if and when he starts dating. He and his brother know very well that I am not looking to replace their mom, but I am looking for someone special in my life. They also know that I am careful about who I date and who I introduce them to. We have a great level of trust between us and I think that is key.”