I first discovered “T” after she left a comment on my blog six months ago. The first post I read was her “Independence as a Single. Mom,” where she described how challenging it can be to be both a single woman and a mother. I loved it.

Amazingly, that post sums up our last four days together.

T is sitting across from me as I type this post. We are talking in hushed whispers in my living room about online dating — and my spirited child has just out called out, “Mommeeeeeee!! The water you gave me tastes yucky!”

Although we’d emailed for months, we hadn’t even spoken on the phone before we decided to meet in person. When T told her family that she was coming to California to meet a blogger, her mom got worried. What? Her daughter was coming to stay with a stranger, a woman she’d never even spoken to?

Then one of my friends told me, “What if you don’t even like each other?”

I knew we would.

But I had no idea how deeply we would connect. (If you’re curious about T’s take on our connection, go ahead and read her post, “Smitten.” Warning: adult content!)

One of the things that I loved about T’s writing from the get go is how open, revealing, and racy she is. Dad’s House recently described her as being a blogger who “turns herself inside out.”

Does she ever!

In person, T is as raw and revealing as she is in her blog. What has made her stand out in the blogging world for me is the fact that there’s always a nugget of advice in between the lines. In person, too, she  has this incredible wisdom.

Has anything surprised me? Yes.

I’d envisioned a Texan belle stepping off the plane in her high heels. But when she got off the plane, she was wearing a cute turtleneck sweater, jeans, and black boots. Her style is just like mine!

Then, as T walked into my home, she said, “It’s funky! I love funky!”

So, for the next five days, we’d talk about relationships, parenting, kids — and sex. As T says in her blog post, we couldn’t seem to stop talking. In fact, we got so distracted driving to meet Depot Dad that we missed the exit to his home.

As I escort T to her plane tomorrow, I am grateful. This just goes to show that bloggers really can become friends.

If there’s a blogger out there whom you admire, go ahead and say “hello” to him/her. Friendships do happen here. For real.

If you’ve never left a comment here — or on T’s blog — we’d love to hear from you.

Don’t be scared. Come and say “hi.” We’ll be nice.

The above photos are the closest I’ve come.

Seriously, I was just trying to think of a fun, spontaneous way to launch into the New Year. So,  I ran this headline by “T,” and she urged me to go for it.

Here are a few trivia questions for you. Let’s see how you do.

After this photo was taken last night:

Who spotted a woman whom he/she wanted to kiss?

Who doesn’t like “petit fours” with alcohol? (”T” explained to all of us that “petit fours” are those small cakes eaten at the end of a meal. Who knew?)

Who was asked for his/her phone number?

Who vowed us to secrecy?

Photos of “T,” Dad’s House, Depot Dad, and Single Mom Seeking

This photo was taken one hour ago, over fish and chips, and lots of laughter. Yes, that’s Depot Dad and “T.”

I’m writing this post from Jim’s kitchen, as “T” talks to us about love. I’m listening, I really am.

We’re planning a bloggers’ reunion — the West Coast? the South? — after Jim completes his interferon treatments. (See how strong he looks!) Who’s in?

I gave it a shot… and Lisa is running my post today (thanks Lisa!).

Check it out: “Alone on New Year’s Eve.”

P.S. Phil, I’m sorry if I insulted you with my dig about “separated” men. I’d love to know what the rest of you think about that one.

Don’t worry. Although this post’s title might hint otherwise, I’m not going to ask you to write down your New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t believe in them.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m the kind of woman who usually breaks resolutions. Imposing hard and fast rules on myself just doesn’t work for me (Is it the same for you? Welcome to the club!).

Instead, I believe in intention. As in, having a purpose.

During the holiday hustle, Mae and I took a break to do just that. I’m not what you call crafty, but I can manage a glue stick.

Every year at this time, she and I have sat down with old magazines to make “life vision” collages. It’s as simple as cutting out pictures to symbolize our hopes and dreams for the 2009.

Let’s just say that Mae’s collage is one big montage of candies and sweets. (Sigh.)

RJ Jaramillo, founder of SingleDad.com, is one serious guy when it comes to planning his life. Instead of making collages, he sits down with his kids to write “Life Plan worksheets.”

“If we discover what makes us ‘happy,’ we then have a direction, an action a feeling, or an event in our lives and minds that fosters motivation and inspiration with the rest of our daily activities,” says RJ.

“The first question is, ‘How do we capture our happiness?’ ”

I’ve tried to capture mine visually, through words and images — yes, that’s my collage, above.

Your turn: What makes you happy? (You know that I’m going to put this question to “T” when she visits!)

If you were going to make a life vision collage for 2009, what’s one image you’d include? C’mon now, just one.

If any of you make collages, send me the JPEGs, and I’ll post them here!

Read my post at BabyCenter.com about why Obama’s win means so much to me.

More blogging friends who joined in this conversation, please check them out:

Honey and Lance: I Canvassed for Barack Obama on Election Day

20-forty: Will Obama’s Victory Affect Attitudes Toward Interracial Dating?

Miss Polyamory: Barack Obama - The 44th US President

Very Smart Brothas: The Shorted Post You’ll Ever Read From Me

Sheila Goss: Barack Obama Our First African American President

~~~

ANOTHER UPDATE, 11 P.M.

YES! Thank you, thank you… I’ve loved getting all of your teary, hopeful emails about our 2008 election.

I just emailed Eathan to let him know that although we might not always see eye to eye, I wholeheartedly love his election post today, about our future. That goes for our kids, too!

Eathan, who blogs from Texas, says about Obama’s victory that we now have the chance to expand “our dating choices, relationship choices, and our future. That idea exhilarates me.”

Me, too.

~~~

UPDATE, 9 A.M.:

Obama Mama just back from the polls!

For the first time ever, my sweet girl woke up at 6:30 a.m. ALL by herself, and then made herself breakfast, and got dressed… She came to my bedroom: “Mommy, I’m ready to vote!”

We rode our bikes to the polls and voted… She proudly walked into school with her “I voted” sticker.

~~~~

LAST NIGHT:

I just got home from leading a local single parents support group and I can’t sleep. Whenever I think about voting tomorrow, I get so excited. Then, I get all teary.

Part of Mae’s homework is go to the polls with me to vote tomorrow. She needs to write down five things she learned. Then, she needs to write a letter to our next president.

Just now, Mae yelled out: “Mom, I’ll be an early riser tomorrow!”

That’s my girl.

There are so many propositions to vote for/against in California, and I’ve got my decisions made on all of them. Whew.

P.S. My heart goes out to Obama’s family: he lost his grandmother to cancer today.

Again, I’m humbled by how important grandparents are.

Just today, I got “the call” from Mae’s school: she has lice, for the first time. I had to pick her up at lunch. After washing and more washing, my Dad came over to keep Mae company so I could get back to work…. Thanks Dad!

This photo was taken four years ago this month (!). Looking back, using my kid as a billboard probably wasn’t appropriate, but pink was her favorite color — and she wanted to wear this shirt every day!

Let me back up: Mae and I left the house an hour early to pop over to a neighbor’s, who was going as Tina Fey as Sarah Palin to work.

Before leaving, Mae and I watched a YouTube video about the best way to get a Sarah Palin do. My friend has short hair and no bangs, so this was tricky. How’d I do?

And tonight is a first:

Both my dad and step-dad asked if they could come trick or treating with us.

Mae, a.k.a. “a dead cheerleader,” could not be happier: eating candy, and being adored by both of her grandpas, who could ask for more? (We’re all celebrating Thanksgiving together, too.)

It will be quite the entourage: Our cousins, who are visiting from out of town, will be there, too. We’re going to meet a handful of my single mom friends, and all of our kids.

Your kids are dressing up as….? And YOU?

I know it has happened to many of you: you’ve “met” a blogger online, and then realize that you live in the same neck of the woods.

So, why not meet for real, in the flesh?

Has it happened to you?

That’s how I met Jim, a.k.a. Depot Dad.

He started to read my blog this year. By email, we realized that we live just an hour away from each other.

So, one evening — without telling me, sneaky! — he showed up a friend’s book reading. He explained: he’d read on my blog that I might be there. (Guys, I do NOT suggest doing this. If it hadn’t been Jim, I would have been creeped out.)

Jim and I have gone to a few book readings since then — where Jim has flirted away with my friends. (Hey, can’t I take you anywhere?)

He is a big flirt, and I mean that as the best compliment.

But no one knew that a few months into our friendship, Jim would be diagnosed with skin cancer. And that it would have traveled to his lymph nodes.

~~~

Last weekend, after Jim got back from the hospital, I made some food; then, Mae and I got into the car to go meet him and his kids, with dinner.

On the way there, I explained to Mae that Jim just had surgery — and now he has a kind of a hole in his head. I wanted to tell her because I thought she might be nervous when she saw him. But she seemed fascinated.

“How did they make a hole in his head without hurting his brain?” she wanted to know.

“The doctors were very careful,” I tried to explain.

As it turns out, Jim’s friend had just finished shaving his head when we arrived. When Mae saw Jim, she was unfazed.

Jim is a well-meaning, kind, soft-spoken dad — with such sweet kids! — and that’s whom Mae saw. (Me, too!)

Please, if you haven’t said “hi” to Depot Dad yet, drop by. He’s one strong trooper, and he’s going to be fine. (More than fine.) You’ll see what I mean.

~~~
I’m curious: have you ever “met” anyone online AND… offline?

I know that A Bright Future, The Exception, and Crazy Computer Dad — met through blogging (through this very blog, I think?). They had a real life adventure this month.

I’d love to know:

Have you ever befriended a blogger on online… and then met him/her in person?

(I saw Dooce in the lobby at the BlogHer conference in S.F., but I don’t think that really counts.)

We all form ideas about what blogger is like, based on his/her posts.

But what is he/she like in reality?

If you’ve met a blogger in the flesh, were you surprised?

~~~

The most common thing people tell me when I meet them in person is: “I thought you’d be taller!” (Do I come across that BIG in my blog. Jeesh. I hope I don’t have a big ego, like another blogger out there, no names mentioned! Just teasing A!)

Photo taken last weekend with Jim, me, and the kids. We were in the Halloween section at a candy store, making scary faces. Jim wins!

If you’ve read Adam’s blog, then you know his side of the story: after no contact for years, I agreed to meet him.

“We sat, we talked, I was obviously emotional,” Adam described that first coffee date. “I was happy, she was skeptical, I smiled, she laughed, we hugged, and we parted. God, someone get me a cigarette!”

No, he’s not an addict.

Yes, he’s just out of an emotionally abusive relationship.

No, he’s not a stalker.

Yes, he’s a little boy, hidden inside a tough macho shell.

~~~

At the restaurant on Friday, he pulled his chair to turn towards me. “I want to face you.”

And he really did. He looked at me, that way, and I couldn’t look away.

But let me stop here and be very clear with all you:

I know the kind of relationship I deserve to be in. Finally, I know.

I’m in such a good place right now — thanks, in part, to all of you here. The door will open when I meet that open, honest, respectful, intelligent, reliable, present, good-looking man.

Is it Adam? I don’t know.

~~~

It was really fun to tease him at dinner. When the waiter came up for our order, Adam explained that he didn’t eat dairy, red meat or pork.

“I’m really sorry,” I told the waiter. “I hadn’t realized that my date was so difficult–”

The guys laughed.

You’d be amazed how many times that you — my readers — came up during our dinner.

He pointed out, for example, that many of you are so protective of me.  (So true!)

He asked about a couple of male readers, too.

Him: “So, who’s Phil?”

Me: “Phil?”

Him: “Yeah, Phil from your blog. He doesn’t like me–”

Me: “Oh, Phil. He’s a dad who comments on my blog. He lives nearby, we had dinner last month–”

Him: “He took you out to dinner?”

Adam kept asking me questions, encouraging me to talk. But every 10 minutes, I caught myself, open. He was looking at me. That way. I shut the door.

This time, for the record, he only cried a few times. Mostly when he talked about his daughters.

More than once, he paused and said, “I just want to be with someone who loves me as I am.”

(Me, too. Isn’t that what everyone wants?)

~~~

Outside the restaurant, we walked.

“I was hurt once before by you,” I said. “You need to be honest with me.”

“I will,” he said, stopping. Then he held my face. “And you need to be honest with me.”

“I will,” I said.

Then he drove me home. We stood next to his car and held each other. I could have stood there all night.

But I went inside. Alone. I couldn’t sleep.

And I decided this: I want my blog back.

I also want to see where Adam and I might go, offline.

And I want to know, from all of you:

What if I stop blogging about him/us, for now?

Will anyone protest if I ask him to take a leave of absence from the blog?

~~~

Photo of yours truly, here I come world… I’m open

If you’ve also wondered why my posts have been spotty on the weekends, it’s not because I’m busy dating. Instead, I’m busy volunteering for the Obama campaign. So is Mae.

At “The Power of Words” fundraiser in support of Barack Obama last weekend at Ellen Sussman’s (we raised $75,000!)

Mia Lipman, editor extraordinaire, and yours truly.

With Scott Hutchins, new Stanford faculty friend…

Here we are, listening to Daniel Handler, a.k.a. Lemony Snicket, read.

In the meantime, Mae and her friend ran a lemonade stand for Obama (they raised $100!) But hey, honey, I thought that lemonade was for sale!

My friend brought the girls to the phone banks to drop off the cash. Everyone paused from making calls to applaud; one woman even got teary. Mae said it was kind of embarrassing.

When I asked recently you think is going to win… you overwhelmingly said “Obama.” We’ll see, right?

Photos taken by Mia Lipman and Ted Weinstein