Evan Kamida would have been eight years old tomorrow. As you know, I have an eight-year-old. Although I never got to meet Evan in person, I felt like I knew him. This is because I once edited his mother’s columns at Literary Mama, where her powerful words about her son first went into print.

After years of cyber-correspondence, I got the chance to meet Evan’s mom, Vicki Forman, at BlogHer.

On the way home from BlogHer, I read her essay about Evan on BART, just published in Love You to Pieces: Creative Writers on Raising a Child with Special Needs, edited by Suzanne Kamata.

Now I sit here speechless, with tears in my eyes. Like thousands of parents around the world, I’m also so stunned and saddened.

Evan’s memorial is this morning in Pasadena, CA. If you have a blog and would like to participate in a cybermemorial, friends and writers around the world are honoring Evan by taking pictures of flowers on swings because Evan loved to swing. You can get more information here.

Whether you’re the parent of a special needs child or not, please read something about Evan this week. You can browse Vicki’s essays, columns, and blog as you send every ounce of love to her and her family.

If you would like to make a donation to Evan’s memorial fund, please go here.

Top photo of Vicki and Evan; bottom photo of smiling Evan, courtesy of Vicki Forman.

Clue: here’s a recent photo of Ryan, who says (and I quote directly from his blog): “I love bars. Why? Allow me to alliterate: beer, buddies and broads. It’s really that simple.”

Single parents, please read on — and comment over at Glamour today. Single dads, that means you, too. Ryan just might need a heart-to-heart with one of you wise fellows.

Photo of Ryan and his buddy, Scruff.

Update: One of my single mom friends pointed out that I seem SO congratulatory here. In no way am I advocating teen pregnancy. I’m all for sex-ed and birth control. I think that waiting until you have a baby — until you’re in a solid relationship, with a solid career, and of course, a solid head on your shoulders — is ideal.

In this situation, Jamie Lynn Spears decided to have her baby. We can continue to scorn her… or, at this point, we can support her.

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Dear Jamie Lynn,

Congratulations! Welcome to the world, little Maddie Briann (I love the name you picked!). I can’t wait to see those first baby pics.

I wish you and fiancé Casey Aldridge lots of rest, good food and warmth right now. I know it’s none of my beeswax, but I think it was very smart of you not to marry Casey just yet. I mean that sincerely. Take the time to see how you well you two communicate — and love each other. Having a baby is the ultimate test to a relationship.

As you settle into your three-bedroom home in Mississippi, I hope he refills your water glass plenty — and brings you trays of cut-up fruit and veggies, with bite-sized meat sandwiches. If I can recommend one book to read those first couple of weeks, it’s Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions.

If you haven’t checked out Ellie’s blog — Confessions of a YP – add it to your Bookmarks ASAP.

Like you, Ellie is a 17-year-old new mama. She has a beautiful daughter, too: Telesa.

Like you, Ellie has faced the judgment and “the looks.” While raising her baby girl alone, this super mom is finishing high school — she’s in summer school right now. Listen to Ellie’s schedule for the fall: Biology, Two Classes in Principles, Geology, English, Chemistry, Physics, Social Studies. Impressive.

P.S. Jamie, about passing that GED exam recently, you go girl!

Your turn: Let’s hear your advice for new mama Jamie Lynn. Any tips for her these first few months? Any advice about her relationship with Casey?

Photo from PRphotos.com

Father’s Day used to be so darn sad for me. I’d wake up, open my eyes, close them again and wish the day away. But now that we live out here in in Cali, near my dad and step-dad, it’s not so bad.

What makes it all better are the single dad bloggers I’ve met through this site.

This post is for you, single dads, as well as the soon-to-be ones! I’ve even had the wondrous opportunity to meet a few of you in the flesh — both in NYC and the Bay Area. I’m one lucky chic.

So, here’s “Happy Father’s Day” to:

David Mott at Dad’s House, thanks for inspiring me to keep it real. And more. Here’s to future pondering about condoms, intimacy, booty calls…

Trey Ellis, congrats on the publication of your juicy, tell-all memoir, Bedtimes Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood. I’m rooting for you and your new love in NYC!

Crazy Computer Dad, I know this year has been full of challenges for you. I’m continually impressed by how advocate for your son, no matter what.

Jorge Fitz-Gibbon, thanks for being a role model in creating a healthy, loving blended family!

Matt Logelin, a new single dad whom I’ve only just read about this morning at Glamour’s Storked! (Slight warning: there’s a lot of f*ck in the post, and this guy will break you down. He just did it to me.)

Of course, Happy Father’s Day to the soon-to-be divorced dads, too:

Laid Off Dad, it was great to connect this year at Robert Rummel-Hudoson’s book launch party. I’ve reread your bold post about “falling down” many times.

P.S. I realize I’m posting this a bit before Father’s Day. I’m off to an all-women’s writing retreat this weekend. See you on Monday!

P.P.S. MSN.com posted my little piece about “Why I Love Dating Single Dads” in honor of all the single dads out there. Thanks for inspiring me!

Hey Mamas, send these guys a littl’ love, will you?

To make matters more intense, it just so happens that during Mary Pols‘ book launch party last night for Accidentally on Purpose, she read her infamous chapter about her condom-free one-night stand, which gave her little Dolan.

Although no one in the audience dared to ask Mary about condoms last night, the night did have an unexpected surprise:

I blushed during Mary’s bold reading, and then stayed up way too late thinking about this post. First, let me say that I’m pro-condom. I think everyone should use condoms, I think condoms should be sold in every bathroom for a nickel, the same way that tampons are sold. But in my experience, men don’t like to use them. They will beg, pressure, say anything to do condom-free. Am I alone here?

In response to yesterday’s one-night stand post, David from Dad’s House emailed me on the side that he was “was truly flabbergasted when I read that “oops” line. But you’re probably right, there are probably a lot of people who don’t use condoms. From where I stand, they are polluting the dating pool. But that’s just me, I guess.”

I take full responsibility for having made a few careless decisions in my past, and I wrote about one instance in my book — when, I gave into one man’s persistence. I freaked out afterwards, and reprimanded myself for weeks. (By the way, my decision to get pregnant with my daughter was a conscious one. At the ripe age of 28, I was certain that I wanted to become a mom — and it took just one try to make it happen.)

I told Dad’s House: “I think that many, many people are sleeping around without condoms.”

It’s terrifying, but is it true? I’m asking you. Does any of this ring true for you? Sign in anonymously if you want.

Photo from faincut

At San Francisco’s Sex and the City event with Sasha Cagen, author of Quirkyalone, Mysti Doughty, and Waleska — one of my always-there single mama friends. (Hint: we’re the two shorties!)

Check out yours truly quizzing folks in line last night as they waited to get into San Francisco’s Sex and the City party.(That’s my single mom friend, Waleska, taping. Doesn’t she have a great laugh?)

P.S. After researching just now, I realize that Miranda’s nanny may have a Hispanic name — but she’s really Eastern European.

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You can see three local single women authors — Wendy Merrill, Falling into Manholes ; Jerusha Stewart, The Single Girl’s Manifesta; and Jane Ganahl, Naked on the Page — before the Sex and the City event on ABC’s View from the Bay!

Watch the local Sex and the City HERE.

The single mom verdict about the movie is still out. Ms. Single Mama says that Sex and the City was cheesy, while Mommy Pie loved it!

And it already looks dead.

No really: I was so tickled when the Biologist showed up for our date the day before Mother’s Day with an orchid. So sweet! It’s the first time in his life that he has ever dated a single mom, and he gets an A+ for his sincerity and genuineness.

Before having a child, I had a slightly green thumb. I had a mean, green herb garden, I had plants in every corner of my bedroom. Not long into motherhood, I realized that if I wanted to have plants in my home, they’d have to be hearty ones. If I forgot to water them, I had a toddler who eagerly over-watered them.

Anyway, when the Biologist pulled up last Saturday, there was this lovely orchid in his backseat. I thanked him, smiled, and said, “I hope I don’t kill it.”

I’ve only had an orchid once before, a gift from the kind people at the local flower shop near my old home. But during my move, the plant started to whither and died. I felt really bad. The worst part is: the day after Mother’s Day, I woke up and found the orchid’s one and only flower on the floor.

“Are you temperamental, or what?” I said.

But I couldn’t help but feel responsible. I’d only had the thing for a day! I called the Biologist, and he confessed that he’s given me the “most finicky” kind of orchid (a “Phrag”). Then, he went on to tell me how to take care of it: only filtered water (we drink from the tap here, which means that I need to get a filter), no direct sun and cool environment (it was 100 degrees here yesterday)… He paused.

“I gave you something kind of high maintenance, didn’t I?” he said.

“Uh, yes.”

Let’s hear your update about Mother’s Day! Bring on the sweet and the sour!

Here are some of my favorite updates from the single parent blogging world:

This is classic: Rebecca Eckler, who writes for www.globeandmail.com, posed as her child to ask her ex for money: Get What You Want This Mother’s Day. Twist the Ex’s Arm.

Trey Ellis spent the day at the zoo with his new blended family. (You’ll see in my comments to him: I want to know what he’s telling his kids about his new girlfriend? Isn’t his daughter asking how a ton of questions? Help me out here, friend.)

Here’s how Mommy Pie explained — as I have, too — that on Father’s Day, we celebrate Grandpa. Good goin’!

Orchid from clix

Ms. Single Mama has a whole category about her ex-husband.

In her blog, Solo Mother pleads her ex-husband to answer her emails about her son, but he won’t respond.

Dad’s House recently wrote about the fact that communication with his ex-wife about their kids “flows decidedly one way – from Dad’s house to Mom’s house – hardly ever the other direction.”

I’m guilty of it, too. I’ve blogged about Mae’s father, and later wrote about my ex-boyfriend, whom I’d fallen for five years into single motherhood.

This weekend, the New York Times had a great piece — “When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired” –about how many of us use blogs to voice our gripes. Do you?

I appreciate what this reader in the New York Times says re: blogging about your ex: “One of the most unhealthy behaviors is repressed anger, and if letting it out helps then a blog or YouTube is great.”

Another reader, however, questions whether “Americans are exhibitionists who will do anything for attention.”

This one concerns me, too: “I think that posting information on the Internet that can eventually be read by — and be hurtful to — your children (like citing them as a cause of your divorce) is despicable.”

What you think about blogging about your ex? Is it healthy venting? Or thoughtless purging?

I love how Julia Allison, a writer at Time Out New York, puts it:

“Breaking up is already traumatic; you are literally going through a chemical withdrawal, a state akin to that of a recovering heroin addict. No one possesses good judgment during this time. This is why, for years, advice columnists have suggested writing angry letters to your ex and then throwing them away. Except now people vent via venomous blogs…

The lesson? When in a relationship and especially when ending one, take a deep breath and Step. Away. From. The computer.”

If you blog, do you write about your ex?

Has your ex ever found your blog? Are you concerned that your kid(s) might read what you say about your ex one day?

Photo courtesy of Ralaelin

He started “it” back in February by sending me this sweet email. I’m a sucker for compliments:

“I really like your blog and website, very well done,” he wrote. “There’s a reason it’s the only single parenting site in my blog roll so far.”

Fortunately, he has since added more bloggers, like Ms. Single Mama . (Oh, that on-the-ball mama just beat to me to the punch with a Dad’s House post of her own.)

“It would be nice to meet and chat with a fellow Bay Area single parent writer (you!) in person,” he added.

As it turns out, we live just an hour away from each other. I wrote back to say that it’s so “rare” for two bloggers to actually meet in the flesh. I was game, however.

So, David from Dad’s House offered to drive my way (thanks!) so we could meet for real. I’d imagined a business lunch. We’d talk about blogging, of course. I’d only seen that one photo of him — with the red hat — so I had this vision of meeting a skinny, serious, quiet guy. I’ll be the first to admit that I have some unfair misconceptions about men from Silicon Valley.

Boy, was I in for a surprise.

This cute guy with tortoise shell glasses, green eyes, and shiny black shoes walked into the cafe where I was working.

“I never would have recognized you!” I blurted out.

I gave him a short hug — which caught him off guard, I think — and then we were off. He’s talkative, a little goofy, a great listener. We got hungry and walked to the Thai place a few doors down. We both had curry.

We just kept on talking: about blogging, parenting, literary agents, our kids, boundaries, dating. I’d expected a very analytical man, but he has a strong philosophical side.

Before we knew it, three hours had passed. Oh no, David got a parking ticket! (Sorry).

We should have taken pictures. We should have made a video.

Really, how often do a single mom blogger and a single dad blogger get to meet in person? Not often, I think. I feel like I have a new friend out there, and I hope he feels the same way.

I’ll never forget his last words to me, as we said goodbye. “”High tide floats all boats,” he said.

He explained that this is a popular saying in Silicon Valley. If the tide is high for everyone — that means for us, as single parents — we’ll keep each other from drowning. Here’s to keeping each other afloat, David.

Fess up, single moms and dads: Who do you have a crush on, virtually or in real life?

P.S. If you can’t tell, Ms. Single Mama certainly has a virtual crush on Dad’s House.

If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area, don’t miss this sassy event — Thursday, April 3 — to hear yours truly at the SF Commonwealth Club for “WOMEN WRITERS TELL ALL: SINGLE IN THE CITY” with super stars:

Sasha Cagen, Author, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics

Jane Ganahl, Author, Naked on the Page: The Misaventures of My Unmarried Midlife

Wendy Merrill, Author, Falling Into Manholes: The Memoir of a Bad/Good Girl

Jerusha Stewart, Author, The Single Girl’s Manifesta

We’ve been instructed to keep the content PG-13 because the show might air on the radio.

The Commonwealth Club is next door to Stacey’s at 595 Market Street, 2nd Floor. Admission is $12 for members, $18 for non-members.

Check-in is at 5:30 pm. Readings and discussion begin at 6 p.m.

For reservations and information, please call 415-597-6705.

P.S. Will I see any of you there?

Photo of Wendy Merrill by chrishardyphoto.com

Wendy Merrill’s memoir, Falling Into Manholes, came out last week. “Smart, funny and embarrassingly honest, these tales recount the common experience of looking for love in all the wrong places, and the not so common experience of finding it in yourself.”