About me
Bust Magazine says:
“Rachel Sarah openly writes about her loneliness and the shock of going from being part of a partnership to being woman in charge of two lives, displaying a vulnerability that’s profound and moving.”
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When my daughter was seven months old, her father and I had split up. He left the country to start a new life.
Eventually, it was time for me to start a new life, too. After two years of parenting solo, I’d decided to enter the dating scene again. But I wasn’t yet ready to dive in, maybe just splash in the shallows.
But the last thing I imagined was becoming an “expert” on single parenting — and finding love again. Along the way, I’ve had a fantastic group of friends and always-there family members. I’ve also read every self-help book for single parents out there.
Oh, yes: I also wrote a book about dating as a single mom (or, trying to date!): Single Mom Seeking: Play Dates, Blind Dates, and Other Dispatches from the Dating World (2007, Seal Press)
I feel incredibly grateful to everyone who comments here. This site has grown into a community — thanks to all of YOU!
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You can also find me on: ❤ Twitter.
Single Mom Seeking has been listed as one of Babble’s Top 50 Bloggers in 2009 (wow, thanks guys!)
It’s also one of Parenting magazine’s “Mom Blogs We Love“ — along with Total Divorce’s top “Definite Divorce Reads” and one of the 100 Most Bookmark-Worthy Websites for Dr. Moms
In 2009, I was honored to speak on at Mind of Moms at BlogWorld Expo.
Leslie Morgan Steiner at The Washington Post included my guest post as one of her favorites
I love to talk about parenting, dating, and relationships. If you’re with the media, feel free to contact me! Here are some recent clips:
The Today Show
“View from the Bay” on ABC
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Please say “hi.” Thanks.
If you want to hire me as a writer or an editor — read MORE here.
You can read more about me on my Press Page.
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Sending love to you all,
Rachel
Photo by the amazing Johannah Hetherington
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Rachel,
I just came across your blog and Love it!! Is there any way you can email me? I would love to chat with you about your writing.
Thank you,
L
Hi,
I am a single mom to a 11 month old girl… you can check out my daily happenings at kimzyjm.wordpress.com
Love your site
I’m a single mom and I can’t find how I can even keep friends that don’t have kids let alone date. Can anyone ive me some advice, I’m lost and lonely.
Single mom in SF. Knocked myself up twice after 40. I have a 2 1/2 year old girl and an 8 mo. old boy. Love my kids, would do it all again. Would probably have more if I had more money. Isn’t it sad when money gets in the way of family? I work full time and have a semi-live in sitter. Wish I had the wherewithal to put together a blog…sometimes I feel like I have a ton to say and nowhere to say it. I have a bunch of great friends with no children who hang out a bit but are happy to go back to their childless existances, a couple of friends married with children who are so overwhelmed themselves they don’t have the time to get together with me and mine and a couple of friends who are married and trying unsuccessfully to have children. I find myself going from group to group sharing different aspects of my story but not really fully fitting in anywhere. I’m mostly a go it aloner/against all odds type of person anyways so its an existance I’m familiar with. The best part is the kids though. There are times I wish I had someone to fully share my joy in them. My mother would have fit the bill if she was still around and I have a couple of ex-au pairs that love my rugrats almost as much as I do, but they’ve moved on. I think that’s what I miss most, someone who is as awed by the funny, silly, weirdness of my children as I am. I miss the ability to look over at someone and see that they find my kids as wonderful as I do.
Hi all -
I’m a single 46 yr old mother of a 6 yr old boy. I am 1 year in a new community and feel stopped and isolated. I love and treasure being a mother – I’m grateful for every day for this most amazing opportunity to teach a young person how to live with love, humor and wisdom in this world. I have so many thoughts and observations I’d like to post – but where? I’m not a 30 something mom, I’m not in need of a partner, I simply want to connect with other moms who are doing it alone. Mothers who, like me, miss the community that comes with moms that share their own ‘demographic’ profile and geographic proximity. What action I should take to fix this I’m not sure. I myself am the mother of an only, and that in of itself has its own built-in lonliness. I’ve often thought (at 3 am) that I’ll just build a site on Ning or something – how hard can it be? – but then the logistics of life seem to obscure the late night inspiration.
Just wanted to say hello to the moms out there – I’m off to the bus to meet my young Master Elihu…. All the best from upstate NY…
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth,
Last night was my first venture into any type of online “community” like this and I found this among several sites to be very supportive.
Since I cannot know where this post will end up, I will reserve the details of our lives. But suffice to say our family fits closely with your demographics and situation. There is so much that transpires in the lives of families who go through childrearing [and divorce] later in life. The same people who would have been supportive earlier are cruel at 40 something — it’s as if society [not all obviously] resents or holds a certain disdain for older moms.
I’m not sure what type of help would be supportive or helpful for you, but I am an editor and small publisher and would love to hear back from you if you’re interested in pursuing writing. You can find my email address on our site by going to: http://www.ShulamitePublishingHouse.com
We are expanding at the moment, so everything that you see is not everything in the works. Healing single-parent families is important not only to me, but to the success of our nation. I hope this response is encouraging to you.
Blessings,
Joyce
i am not sure how this works, but i read kimberly’s post and i can relate.i find it all a little much sometimes, working FT, being mother and everything else and trying to date at the same time. i find that it can be lonely too–i can relate to not seeing my friends without kids much. but i just keep moving forward and having faith. i just wish i could meet more mom’s like me–this is something that doesn’t happen that much!
Hi Rachel, just wanted to let you know that “Single Mom Seeking” has been chosen as one of our five favorite dating blogs! You can read the feature article on the Sassy Bean homepage starting 11/12/07 at http://www.sassybean.com. Congrats!
Hello Marie,
Thanks so much! I’m honored. I love http://www.SassyBean.com. I’ll be sure to blog about your article on Monday.
Have a great weekend.
P.S. Congrats to Matt and Tamsen on tying the knot!
Hi,
I just came across your blog and Im going to put it in my bloglines. I am a single mom of a 22 month old. No father in the picture whatsoever, and it is ok.
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Have a good Thanksgiving, and remember to be thankful no matter what the heartache this day brings.
Rachel, simply love your blog and adding it to my blogroll! Neat stuff and will keep on exploring more around. H
Wow thank you so much thats a reallly wonderful compliment! LOL and yes english is by far my best subject. I’ve been told by several professors I should be an english major.. but honestly what would I do with an english major? I’m a very good BSer but I’m not so sure I’m cut out to write for real. I’m going to school to be a nurse which sadly requires alot of math it seems and I’m AWFUL at math. I’m so glad you came by!
I just started writing for a friend to help their website http://www.singlemomsindiana.com it is fairly new and I really love getting ideas from other bloggers. You write so freely and honest, i love it, which is how I am more accustomed to writing…hence, why i’ve kept a journal for the past 10 years. check em’ out. Im twinmother05
take care
What a nice website. It is so nice to see so many more sites about single parenting.
When I started http://SingleParentsNetwork.com there was just two, and one you had to pay to belong to.
Kudos and enjoy the transition, one day you will find the right one.
Peace
Robin
New to this site. Am 39 with a 22 mos old son. Going at it alone but have had incredibly difficult time with divorce/custody battle with ex who refused to work to support his son then wanted to take him only to use him as an excuse not to work. Not exactly my dream of having a ‘family,’ with 1.5 kids.
hormones kicking in and long for a partner but kinda hard when you’re home every night and hard to find evening sitters or extra cash to go out. Have tried to meet men when son is with his father but wish I had access to a regular partner vs. every other weekend arrangement.
so how DOES a single mother date, meet financial needs, etc?
Being a single parent really has to be one of the toughest challenges around. I was raised by a single mother, and a non-dad. Meaning no relationship,period. That was how I came into the world fifty years ago. It was not easy, not for me, not for her. My 3 boys are grown now. But after 5 years of marriage, I left their father. It was very hard to do but he was on drugs and constantly unemployed. We survived.
But I often wished there was somehow some person that I could “share” my kids with, their special moments. But I was alone. They grew up with struggles of their own, maybe feeling they sensed my feelings.
Now I am a grandmother. I cannot help but to notice now just how much “he” has missed, by his own choice. So have I. “He” cannot know how wonderful and how special it is just to be able to experience all that I have. The boys and now their babies. Is it crazy to say that it hurts still because “he” and I can’t share it?
So glad to find your site and read your words…comforting to know there are others like me out there.
All the best! Kelly & Baby Will (10 mos)
Hi! I’d been following your blog religiously for quite some time when I became a single mom 3 years ago – my daughter was 20 months old at the time. It was comforting to know that someone was almost in the exact same situation as me. I’ve been so busy keeping up with my daughter and work and friends and trying to date that I dropped off from reading it. I got engaged on April 7th and I was just going through my ‘favorites’ blogs to delete all the single-mom related ones, and I came upon your blog and have realized that we are in the same situation once again. Silly me for considering the deletion of those single mom blogs!!! Thanks for waking me up to that. I just thought I’d let you know that I’ll be following your blog religiously once again as I go through this transition.
xox Susan
It is always humbling and reassuring to have one of those “I am not alone” experiences — I have your blog to thank. Thank you for writing the real stuff.
Peace and Happiness-
Caro (newly single mama)
married at 26, had baby at 27, left crappy abusive husband 6 months later…divorced at 28. single, but not seeking. yet.
Can anyone recommend an online dating website for single parents in the SF bay area? I am finally ready to “get out there,” but I am only interested in meeting single fathers (for now). Match and OKCupid and Fitness-Singles all seem to have single guys without children and without marriage experience. Thank you for any recommendations…
Hello! I just saw your similar comment at Singlemommyhood.com, and as a single mom who dated for years in the SF Bay Area… I wish I could give you a five-star recommendation for a local site for single parents. Please check out my reply at Singlemommyhood, and keep us posted.
The road that I have traveled sounds much like yours. While I am no longer a single mommy (engaged to a wonderful man now) reading this was a trip down memory lane of the first dates, the nights alone, the tears, the self discovery, the woman who I have become after all that.
Looking forward to reading more.