My Thanksgiving scar

by singlemomseeking on November 21, 2012

It took me years to admit that I was a classic co-dependent in a relationship with an alcoholic.

Twelve years ago this Thanksgiving. That’s when our relationship ended, with our apartment door locked and his key slipped back under. Twelve years!!

A lovestain on my heart. That’s what he left 12 years ago. We’d unraveled and hurt each other. That lovestain is now a little scar that I’ll always carry around.

This amazes me: the daughter he left behind is exactly the same age as my second daughter:

I will always be grateful for the friends and family who stepped forward that Thanksgiving to support me with their arms open, and without judgment.

Here’s to all the parents on Thanksgiving who are doing it on their own. May you be surrounded by hugs and hot food and a chair to sit down and eat.


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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Once March 24, 2016 at 4:59 am

Just discovered this. I cried. I’m also a bay area single mom. Its gonna stay that way since I’m almost 40. She was 7 months when I left her abusive dad. We moved into our less then 100 sq ft apt Thanksgiving day. Now my daughter is 16 months and every single scar, the cuts I did myself, the emotional damage he left in the form of PTSD, the strechmarks that match her brand new zebra bed remind me Just how lucky I am to be her mom.


j December 4, 2012 at 6:04 am

Amen! We can’t move forward until we close the doors on the past. I remember that night too but he kept the key and I changed the lock on the door!


Jen @Making Messes November 27, 2012 at 6:45 am

Love reading your blog. Gives me so much hope!


Ashlea November 21, 2012 at 6:26 pm

The new baby could not be more beautiful!!!! Your life gives me hope for a “second round” and gives me perspective. Reading this post I realize that the relationship that gave me my children will someday serve to make me more grateful for a marriage that will sharply contrast my first. You also remind me to be patient. 12 years….I’m on year number 4 and I wish Prince Charming would show up already!!! Thank you for sharing and Happy Thanksgiving!


singlemomseeking November 22, 2012 at 10:50 am

Ashlea: I’m sending you patience and hope. Here’s to putting your intentions out there into the world!


Amy Pogrebin November 22, 2012 at 10:55 am

Ashlea~ I just got re-married to a true prince charming this summer (and am now pregnant)~ it was 8 years for me~ like Rachel, I’m sending you patience and hope~ it really does happen 🙂

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