From “I” to “we”

by singlemomseeking on September 17, 2011

Every Friday, we meet with our contractors– a team of five guys  — who sit around the table with us to chat about our addition and answer questions.

Whenever I talk to these guys, I’m very conscious about saying “we” as in:

“We decided to go with a dual low-flush toilet that uses less water.”

“We have definitely made up our minds about solar panels on the roof.”

Well, sometimes, Thunderpants forgets to say “we.”

He says, “I want LED lights in the bedroom.”

And, “I’ve made up my mind about the shower plumbing.”

I meet his eyes, gritting my teeth, as I think, “But, honey, WE stayed up late making those decisions last night. I was right there.”

In my past relationships, I haven’t always chosen to be with men who’ve seen me. I can get sensitive when I feel like I’m not being seen. When it comes to language — “I” vs. “we” — I guess being a writer affects me, too.

Don’t get me wrong: he’s getting a lot better remembering that it’s about us now. He’ll tell me later, “I’m sorry, love. I just forget sometimes. But I’m trying.”

We both continue to try.

In fact, yesterday the lead contractor told us: “I know I don’t see what goes on behind the scenes, but you two seem to make decisions really well together.”

We laughed. “Yeah, come behind the scenes sometime–.”

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