Snapshot: When you marry a childless man

by singlemomseeking on May 10, 2011

This might not come as a surprise: I’ve been quite busy lately chatting with single moms who married men without kids. After all, I’m one of those woman, too.

Today, I’m so excited to introduce you to an amazing photographer and business woman: Deanna, owner of Devine Memories.

Deanna was married for 11 years when she and her husband split. “I was not just the single mom of three kids under the age of 10 — I was also running my own business, too.”

One year into single motherhood, Deanna decided that dating wasn’t going to work out. “I knew that I just needed enjoy my life and my three awesome kids,” she remembers thinking.

The day after she made that declaration, however, everything changed. Deanna had gone to hear some music with a friend. “We walked into the first show when this guy came up and introduced us to his friends. After talking to everyone, I zeroed in on a man named Tony…he had such a calm, quiet strength, and he was absolutely fascinating to talk to.”

When Tony told her that he was home from Afghanistan for just two weeks, Deanna thought it was perfect: she could hang out with this kid-less guy who was five year her junior, but not get serious. Deanna was also felt sure that when she told Tony she had three kids, he would run.

“Instead, he asked me their names and ages, and memorized them before the end of the night. We went on several dates, and after the third one I knew I was a goner. My life would never be the same.”

Before Tony returned to Afghanistan, they realized they were falling in love. They maintained a long-distance relationship via email and Skype for four months. And then he came home permanently.

One year after meeting, Tony proposed to Deanna near Golden Gate Bride in San Francisco — and this is where they’re getting married on 9-10-11.

Deanna is honest about the fact that she had to face her fears about getting married again: “I have compared it to surviving a plane crash and committing to get on a plane again…. But today, I’m way past those fears, and just ready to do it right this time!”

Deanna says she’s in awe of how her husband-to-be has adjusted to so much change. For one, he is learning how to parent alongside her kids’ biological father. “Tony has to love them as if they were his own but be prepared to step back at times when it breaks his heart to. I don’t envy his position.”

And there’s also the noisy home and packed schedules. “At first, all the soccer games, orchestra concerts, and school functions exhausted him.”

Tony is getting ready to move into Deanna’s home this summer. In the meantime, he has been remodeling to make more space: adding a larger patio, converting the garage to a second living area, fixing up the bathrooms.

“This poor guy  is going from living on his own for years to living with a wife and three crazy kids!” Deanna jokes.

On a serious note, she adds: “He has shown my children what a loving relationship between parents is. He is the best thing that ever happened to us.”

Here’s the soon-to-be blended family:


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May 10, 2011 « Getting Stronger
May 11, 2011 at 5:57 am

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