Snapshot: How to open yourself up to love again

by singlemomseeking on March 18, 2011

So many of you know the darkness of betrayal. You’ve been hurt. You are healing. You feel so cautious about opening up your heart again — I really get it.

That’s why I’d like you to meet Carrie, aka How Does She Do It Mom —  a former single mom with a very inspiring story (she’s pictured below with her man).

Carrie, the mother of two young children, left her abusive marriage three years ago. In the meantime, she has been doing her best to have a healthy co-parenting relationship with her ex, as they raise their five and seven-year-old kids.

At first, balancing everything on her own was tough, and Carrie did her best. In between parenting, she worked hard as a fitness specialist in Canada.

Then, in 2008 — not long after leaving her husband — Carrie got a Facebook friend request from a man named Brian. He was a Chicagoan whom she’d met at an international fitness conference for work. “Nothing happened during those three days other than a wonderful human connection,” Carrie recalls. “We’d fit like old friends. We’d felt comfortable around each other.”

Of course, Carrie “friended” Brian — and then went on with her life. “I was learning how to be a single mom, and how to be a single woman for the first time in my life.” (She’d been with her ex-husband since she was 13.)

“I was working on being the best that I could be — knowing that when that Mr.Right came along I would be ready, because I was being true to myself,” she says.

In the meantime, Carrie and Brian occasionally commented on each other’s Facebook pages — oh, and they flirted, too. “I had a feeling there was more to our random comments,” she says.

More indeed. “One day, Brian sent me an email, telling me that he’d had a crush on me since the day he’d met me. I read it and jumped around like a school girl. I knew that he was the one! It sounds crazy, but I just knew.”

They started to have very long phone conversations that lasted through the night. It all felt right. But it wasn’t that easy: Carrie was raising her kids in Montreal, and Brian lived in Chicago.

So, on January 16, 2010, Carrie flew south to visit Brian to see how things felt. “I didn’t sleep the night before, and I’d taken an early morning flight,” she says.

“After getting off the plane, I texted him to see where he was. I was so nervous, and I was also navigating the world’s largest airport. That’s when I absentmindedly walked straight into the men’s bathroom! I got a whole bunch of stares and some smiles, too…as I fumbled back out to the women’s washroom!”

“He came into my world knowing I had two kids,” Carrie says. “He knew that loving me would come with lifelong commitment to loving my kids. It’s a CRAZY story I know. It makes most people want to gag.”

Brian was ready for that responsibility — he moved to Montreal on February 26, 2010. Instead of exchanging engagement rings, Carrie and Brian got their first initials tattooed on their ring fingers.


Which brings up the question….

How do YOU know when it’s right?

After healing from so much hurt — like a divorce or a break up — how do you know that this time, it’s really going to work?

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Snapshot: How to help your kids blend | Single Mom Seeking
May 20, 2011 at 10:40 am

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