The addition

by singlemomseeking on December 31, 2010

“I want to make some space for you.”

That’s what Chris says as he pulls random T-shirts from his closet and carries them into the hallway, where piles of clothes are lumped to give away to Goodwill.

“I know it’s not much space yet,” he goes on. “But I’m emptying these drawers for you.” Then he points to the small dresser inside his closet, now half-empty.

Since getting married this fall, we have continued to “live apart together— Chris in his one-bedroom home that he owns, and my daughter and I in our one-bedroom bungalow that I rent a few miles away from him. (Yes, we do spend most nights together — but still.)

Before and after our wedding, we house-hunted every weekend. I was adamant on staying within a one-mile radius of where we currently live.

Along the way, we crunched the numbers (why is talking about money so hard sometimes?). In the meantime, I’ve spent a lot more time at his beautiful, sunlight hardwood floor home with redwood trees in the backyard, and the fact that his home is just a few miles from mine …and guess what? His sweet house is growing on me.

You’ve heard me voice my fears on this blog: I’m NOT moving into HIS home, I’m NOT moving my daughter to another school. My daughter has been through so many transitions and moves since she was born — so, she has been my biggest worry. As Kat Wilder pointed out to me when I blogged about moving in together, “The main focus must be your daughter, her school, her friends. It gets harder and harder to move as they get older, as their social life is everything, Mom! (eye roll, there).”

My resistance has been stubborn and exhausting. However, I did more research and found out that if we do move to a new neighborhood, I can keep my daughter at her current school. And after doing yet more math, building an addition makes sense in so many ways.

Of course, making his home into our home is going to be a challenge — one I truly think we’re up for (gulp). We’ve been drawing out imaginary plans and making our wish lists, dreaming. Still, we have had some intense conflicts already — and not about square footage — as we learn how to make space for each other in so many ways.

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