“So, are you changing your name?”
This must be the No. 1 question I’ve heard from family and friends since I got married. The answer is a no-brainer for me (I’m keeping my last name), although I DO understand why some women would make the change.
Take Maria (pictured above), for example, who writes a very honest must-read blog at 1,000 Reasons I’m a Bad Mom.
Maria met her son’s bio-dad — “a cool, young guy” – when they were on vacation in Berlin. “After I found out I was pregnant, I emailed him, telling him essentially ‘This happened, I am not asking anything of you. Let me know if you want to be kept in the loop, I will not question your decision.’ He opted for a passive-but-interested role.”
In the meantime, Maria met a great guy, “T,” when she was eight months pregnant. So, T. has been in her son’s life since he was born. (On her son’s birth certificate, she’d left the spot for the father blank.)
They are having a courthouse wedding in December, followed by a wedding ceremony on the beach with family and friends in Costa Rica, where Maria is from (congrats!).
Maria explains her personal reasons for changing her name to her new husband’s: When Maria’s mom got married again, her second husband happened to have the same surname as Maria’s Dad (wow!), “so my sister and I share the same surname. It might be silly of me, but I think it helped us be sisters and not just half-sisters.”
“I also believe names have a lot of meaning, and I want my son to grow up being a full part of this new family – and indistinguishable from his future siblings. Also, since my son and I don’t look alike at all, it’s imperative that we have the same surname so security guards in airports don’t think I’m kidnapping him!”
So, I’m curious:
If you’re a single mom who got married, did you change your name to your husband’s?
If you’re getting married again — or, you’re open to this idea in the future — would you change your name?
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