Married and living apart

by singlemomseeking on August 22, 2010

Living apart together

So, when are you guys moving in together?

Our friends and family have been asking us this question a lot more these days. It’s understandable: we’re getting married this fall… and we haven’t figured out how we’re going to live together. We know we want to, we’re just not sure how.

“It’s under negotiation,” Chris likes to tell people, as he gives me a big smile.

And it’s true: every day for the past few months, we’ve been talking about all the various scenarios in which we might live together. They include buying a home together, moving into one of our homes, adding on…

In the meantime, we’re “living apart together.” Otherwise known as “LAT.” Supposedly, this is a popular trend among European couples. And the idea is sort of rubbing off on me — at least for now.

The biggest stress right now is our overhead — and the fact that we go back and forth a lot. Between one mortgage and one rent – not to mention our utilities – we’ve got a lot on our plates. Don’t get me wrong: we’ve been house-hunting weekend after weekend, as we consider buying a place together. But here’s where it gets complicated:

Currently, he owns his small home, and I rent mine. They’re both one-bedrooms, which are five miles from each other. When we stay at either place, it’s quite cozy. Yet, I’ve got with a growing tween, so living in a small home together is going to get cramped quickly.

Besides, my kid and I have moved a lot since she was born (five times and counting). Although I’m SO excited to get married, I’m not any rush to toss another transition on her. And although I do my best to stay positive about packing – and unpacking boxes – moving just makes me pull my hair out.

Add to this the fact that I love our little home and our neighborhood… and I’m just not in a hurry.

Does anyone else relate? Got any ideas? I’m all ears.

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