Snapshot: When a remarried dad adopts his new wife’s son

by singlemomseeking on July 18, 2010

Some of you might remember Luke from the TLC dating reality show for single parents, “Must Love Kids.” Months later, Luke when fought hard to save his sister, Shayna, as she battled breast cancer, I also wrote about his impressive perseverance.

Recently, I got in touch with Luke just before he was deployed again with the US Navy. Understandably, he was pumped: after completing his Master’s Degree in Information and becoming a Chief in the Navy, Luke got married! I asked him if he’d spill the details. Thanks Chief!

HimebaughWedding 362

Luke said that he first met Mary “at my best friend’s wedding in 2004.  I was a groomsman, and Mary’s sister was a bridesmaid. Back then, an almost-11 year age difference was a big deal. However, we stayed in touch and as the years went by, it was no longer an obstacle.  When I went back to Michigan last summer, we had planned to go out on a date while I was there.”

“We just had hit it off so well, and knew each other so well, that we decided to throw caution into the wind and be together.  That meant that she had to move out here to San Diego, since I’m in the Navy here. So, barely a month after I left Michigan last year, she uprooted her whole life (and son) and moved out here to be with me.”

Her son was barely a year old when Luke met Mary’s son, and they bonded quickly. Her son’s birth father has not been in his life, and Luke and Mary talked openly about the possibility of Luke becoming his legal father. On July 15,  Luke emailed me — with so much excitement — to say that he’d officially adopted his two-year old step-son,

Luke has two daughters from his first marriage, and whenever he’s on shore, he loves seeing his girls every other week. He adds that the transition — his remarriage — has “been a challenge” because “my girls were so used to it just being them and dad.” (I get this, Luke!)

While Luke is at sea, he will write his daughters a couple times a week — in addition to emailing and calling them. “We are giving the girls letter writing kits, any time I’m in port (typically we’ll hit at least a port a month), I have my laptop and if I can get a wireless connection. I’ll be able to either IM or Skype with Mary.”

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As this post goes live, Luke is literally going out to sea with the Navy. Just before being deployed, however, he sent an email with some BIG news!

“We’re expecting a baby! Just to answer some questions: no, we don’t know what sex the baby is, and no, I will not be home for the birth (unless we’re not gone as long as we’re supposed to be somehow). We decided that, although unfortunate, that was a better option than waiting a few years until I was on shore duty again to have a baby and ensure that I’d be here for the birth.”

Wow, Luke! Here’s to your growing family — and growing love.

I’m curious, and would love to hear from ALL of you about this one:

If you’re dating someone with a child, would you consider adopting him/her in the future?

If you’re a single mom or dad who’s dating, would you be open to your new husband/wife adopting your child(ren) in the future?

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