Ground, wrong

by singlemomseeking on July 27, 2010

If there’s one thing that men in my past have complained about, it’s this:

“Rachel, you always make mountains out of molehills.”

And I hate to admit this, but they were right. I’m easily anxious. I often worry about germs, tomorrow, or disappointing someone with a work deadline. My mind gets stuck on that “What if?” track, and it’s really annoying.

But something has shifted inside me recently. I’m sure it has a lot to do with my friend, Jim, aka Depot Dad, who has been battling melanoma for more than a year now. Jim is the single dad of two super sweet and smart kids — and I actually met his through this very blog.

His participation in a trial program at UCLA appeared to be kicking cancer in the butt — until recently. The last scans showed that the tumors are back on his lungs, and he’s facing this latest news with the most incredible bravery. This week, the doctors are putting a permanent “stint”in his lungs to help him breathe, followed by more chemo.

In the midst of something so huge and scary, Jim is moving forward, thoughtfully, cracking jokes along the way, and always thanking his friends. When I’m with him, I feel like I’m in the company of a fire eater who takes on every challenge, and then takes on a bigger one.

I’m not the only one who can say that Jim is changing the way I live my life. Here’s an example of what happened the other day. My guy was out of coffee, so I ran out to Peet’s — his favorite Bay Area coffee shop. In my haste, I forgot that that LG likes his coffee beans whole, because he grounds them right before making espresso (yeah, what have I gotten myself into here?). Anyway, I forgot about all of this at the counter, and I ordered a pound of beans the way I usually do: ground.

When I got back to LG’s house and gave him the bag and he felt it. The beans weren’t whole, they’d been ground. Uh oh. But instead of getting irritated, he smiled. “It’s okay, love,” he said.

And me? Instead of fretting over my mistake and harping on it, I smiled back. In the big picture, this wasn’t the end of the world. Besides, LG knew that what my intentions were. What mattered was this: we could drink coffee together in the early morning, as we scheduled meetings and drop offs. We’d laugh and simply be together.

Do you sometimes make mountains out of molehills, too?

Is there one thing that you can let go of today? What is it?

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