For so many years, I would ONLY date men who had kids. Meaning, I would only date single dads. I had my reasons for sticking to this rule. I thought that:
Someone who was already a parent would get me. If you didn’t have kids, how could you possibly understand the ins and outs of raising children?
Only a father would know how to parent because he was already one. I figured that a dad came with real life experience.
As it turns out (surprise!), my assumptions were… wrong. And, as you know, I am now married to a man who did not have any kids. (Update: We now have a baby together!)
So, when I recently heard from a man who’s dating a single mom, I paused because the story sounded similar to mine. She has sole custody of her 9-year-old daughter. They have no contact with the birth father.
“The daughter and I get along great,” he writes. “But sometimes she reminds me that her mom is just fine without me! Well, she’s a kid and doesn’t understand her mom’s need for male companionship.”
In response to her daughter’s fears, this mom has asked her boyfriend to slow down. And he has.
“I want to give the daughter time to accept and trust a new man in their lives. But it can be hard. I’m a single guy, and I get a bit lonely.”
In the meantime, the mom has made it very clear that she cares about him, but she’s afraid. She wants him to be a part of their lives, “but she uses the phrase ‘baby steps’ a lot, which says to me… go slow with us, but don’t leave. And I don’t want to leave, so I guess I’m resigned to giving the relationship more time.”
If you’re a single mom, have you ever dated a man without kids? Did you ever feel afraid and ask him to slow down?
If you’re a single guy (I know that some of you DO read this blog!) who has dated a single mom, does this guy’s experience sound familiar?
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