My own mom and dad split up when I was three, so I know firsthand what it’s like to be raised by divorced parents. So, I always vowed that before I ever exchanged vows with anyone, I would live with him first. That way, we’d really know if our relationship was for real — before getting married.
So, I did the living-together “experiment.” More than once. That’s kind of a crazy way of thinking, isn’t it?
But I’m not alone: About 70 percent of couples are cohabiting before marriage these days, according to research from the University of Denver. Granted, the study doesn’t say how many of these singles were single parents. Because when you add a kid to the mix, the stakes are much higher.
Although I don’t regret living with boyfriends before-marriage… I’m VERY skeptical about doing it again. When I last wrote about moving in together, you chimed in honestly and thoughtfully. Thank you. Many of you made me realize that marriage is very important to me. It’s a realization that has made me very emotional.
Why? Because looking back, I think I lived with “the guy” for other reasons that were not about lifetime partnership: such as cheaper rent and fewer bills, or to test out the waters.
As you can see, this is still on my mind. Big time.
I’d LOVE to hear from both men and women you on this one:
As a single parent, would you consider moving in together without getting married?
Or, is living together a “package” deal with marriage?
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I dated my boyfriend for 2 years. I have a 14 year old daughter. My boyfriends wants to buy an apartment and wanted us to move in with him. But he is not ready to get married. Reason being: his mother married 4 times and thus he feels that to move in first is a better idea then to marry, just to stay together. Being a divorcee, I also feel that remarry is not a priority on my list. I am 42 years old and he is 43 years old. We are both seeking a long term loving relationship. However, I cannot move in with him without engagement because of my teenage daughter. I want to teach her the right value. But I also don;t want to force him to an engagement which will then put pressure in our relationship. Hence, I am thinking of faking an engagement, just among me, him and my daughter. I will tell my daughter he propose and I accepted. Then I will wear an engagement ring. Like that, I will be able to move in and at the same time teach my daughter correct value. I can always wait till he is ready to do a real proposal, which I can wait.
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