I love hearing from readers who’ve never commented here before. Thank you! This week, so many of you chimed in with incredible honesty. Wow.
I’ve asked one new single mom if I could share her comment on my blog: that’s because she’s asking for some advice, and I know that you’ve got some. Here’s her story:
She’s a 39-year-old divorced mom of a toddler who’s doing her best to co-parent with her ex.
“It’s not exactly my dream of having a ‘family,’ ” she writes.
“I still long for a partner, but it’s kind of hard when you come home tired every night. And it can be hard to find evening sitters — oh, and the extra cash to go out.”
Fortunately, she does get some time off ever other weekend when her ex has their son. But she still wonders how she can possibly do it all.
She asks: “So, how DOES a single mother parent, date, meet financial needs… and everything else?”
Great question! I wish I had the magic answer. I also wish I’d asked another single mom this question when I was on my own with a toddler. Looking back, I started to date again when I was too fragile, when what I really needed was ME, not a man.
If I could go back and speak to a younger me, I’d tell her:
Maybe you’re not ready, it’s okay to put a hold on dating.
If you’re still hashing out custody issues, it might not be the best time to jump back into dating. Emotionally, you might need some time to grieve and heal.
Granted, time alone can feel, well, lonely. So, be proactive and plan ahead. But instead of planning a date, however, think about doing something for YOU. Have girlfriends over for dinner. Sign up for a writing class. Join a “pick up” volleyball league.
But really, I’m sure that all of YOU have a lot more advice to offer. Let’s hear it. Thanks.
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