Asking for what you want

by singlemomseeking on December 31, 2009

Imagine that you were the kind of woman who mostly waited for the man to call the shots in a relationship. Yeah, that was me.

You just assumed that he would disappoint you. And surprise? He did.

But your readers could see right through you, and they gave it to you straight when you felt sorry for yourself:

How do you want to be treated in your next relationship?” one remarried single mom asked me on this blog in early 2009. “What do you deserve?”

So, you sit down and write a list about The Man You Hoped to Love. You revise it again and again, and after weeks, you came up with a basic start:

“A man who will help me carry my heavy baggage — I’ll help him carry his.

A man who gets my dry sense of humor.

A man who holds my hand, not just physically….”

It’s kind of simple really, just writing down what you imagine love looking like: how it feels and what it looks like. Imagine what a typical Sunday afternoon might look like. Let your imagination go in the morning and before you fall asleep. Write down more details. Fill in the gaps.

In the meantime, when you’re feeling lonely or sad, hold yourself. Turn to friends. Know that you are loved.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Because it is a New Year, and there’s hope. Know this.

If you‘re open to sharing what YOU deserve (because you do!). I’d love to hear it.

If you want to write it down privately, just let me know that you did. Okay?

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