To the guys who robbed my home yesterday

by singlemomseeking on November 13, 2009

How long were you desperate @%*& heads scoping out my place before you hit it? All I know is: you planned to bust in just I’d left to start an editing job for a new client.

You came inside at broad daylight — and it figures that you went for my MacBook first. (Fortunately, it was password-protected. Everyone — do that now.)

You threw every article of clothing I own onto my floor, in search of cash. You found none.

But here’s how heartless you really are: you pushed aside every single framed photo on my shelves: baby photos, toddler photos, mother-daughter photos, searching for “something.” It takes a man no self-worth to know exactly who is he’s harming — and then to still go ahead and do it.

You put everything into a suitcase I’d bought a decade ago in New York City. Know this: the police are looking for you. So are neighbors and friends. An alarm company is currently installing a bad ass system in my home. And I’ve got the word out to all of my dog friends to “borrow” a big dog — at least, until I adopt one of my own.

Also know this: you will be caught.

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{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

lovebabz November 13, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Hey Sister,
Sorry you got robbed. It is a violation of your personal space that makes you sick. But know this…it wasn’t personal. They don’t know you or your beautiful daughter. What they wanted was easy items to take to pawn, to get cash for. They probably were drug addicts desperate for a fix. These are desperate times.
Feel violated and be every inch pissed. As a former police commissioner I know about these crimes. They hurt and they make you feel vulnerable. I remember when my Mom was robbed in the same fashion…broad daylight, only moments after she left for work. She never recovered and felt unsafe until her death a few years later. There are no words that I can say that will make you feel better. I just want you to know that you are surrounded physically and virtually by caring folks.
Keep the faith.
.-= lovebabz´s last blog ..LOVETALK RADIO SCHEDULE NOVEMBER 2009 =-.

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GLSD November 13, 2009 at 4:53 pm

OMG Rachel… that sucks! Thankfully you nor M. were home. Items you can replace! I hope that the police find the idiots that would do this… they need to get a life! That happened to a friend of mine… they took their car too… and it was teens… ughhh… Thankfully you’re having an alarm put it. I love the one we have! Wouldn’t feel as “safe” without it. Have a good weekend! XX

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-KA- November 13, 2009 at 5:18 pm

OMG. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I will keep my fingers crossed that they find those assholes!
.-= -KA-´s last blog ..Letter to my mother =-.

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Amy Anderson November 13, 2009 at 6:05 pm

I am mortified for you. That is such a shock to the system and a violation of your sense of safety. How’s M? This can be extremely frightening and confusing a child. The most important thing now is making her feel safe in her own home again.

You know that no evil deed goes unpunished. Can you imagine how simply pathetic their life is that they have to resort to this type of life? You still have a beautiful child, a wonderful career, people who love and care for you and your health.

I have no doubt that at some point they will be caught. Their life will not continue down a path that is worth living. You will benefit in some way from this bad experience; you may make friends with a neighbor you never spoke to, add a dog for protection and discover a new love, help another person wake up and pay attention to their surroundings.

I’m sorry this happened to you, I’m sorry they made you feel unsafe.

Keep us posted please!

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jen November 13, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Bastards. It’s awful when people break in and go through your stuff. I recommend the dog. My neighbour got broken into once and I didn’t – am presuming because of the dog.

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Legal Editor Mom November 13, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Rachel I’m so sorry to read this. I know all that you went through in your search for the perfect home for you and M, and you’ve done an awesome job at providing a safe, comfortable, and nurturing life for her to date. To robbed is to be violated on so many levels, and I don’t blame you one bit for being pissed. But don’t take it personally; just consider the source and realize that they were lowlifes with no morals and no conscious, and they will not prosper, while you and M will be just fine. An alarm is a great idea and I’m hopeful that they will be caught. In the meantime, be safe and know that you’re being thought of. Hugs…

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Paige November 13, 2009 at 7:02 pm

I feel your pain. My car windows were broken once so that the baby seat could be taken. I mean, who steals a car seat? They obviously had a child who needed it, but didn’t my kid need it just as bad?

It’s a crazy world, Rachel. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you feel safe again.

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Jennifer November 13, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Oh Rachel that is so scary! I can’t imagine how it felt to come home to that. It sounds trite, but at least no one was physically hurt. I’ve had my car broken into a few times and had a purse snatched, but a home robbery would be so much worse & I hope they catch them. I’m so very sorry and I hope you & M find the security in your home you once had. A big dog always helps.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Wordless =-.

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MC November 13, 2009 at 8:27 pm

Rachel, this is so horrible. And scary. I agree with you–whoever did it was soul-less. I hope you can find peace after all this–the security system etc are a good move too.

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Dora November 13, 2009 at 8:53 pm

Oh, Rachel! That’s awful! It’s such a violation. I was robbed many years ago. They didn’t get much, but it felt awful knowing someone had rummaged through my things.
.-= Dora´s last blog ..A Trip to Labor and Delivery =-.

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Nich November 13, 2009 at 11:09 pm

Rachel my heart goes out you, I’m glad you and M were not at home, you are in my prayers and give M a big hug from me.

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BigLittleWolf November 14, 2009 at 9:49 am

WOW. This is horrifying. For you and your daughter. It isn’t so much about the things as the violation of it, the audacity and callousness. Borrow TWO big dogs. And yes, on that bad-ass alarm system.
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Is your comfort zone holding you back? =-.

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Jolene November 14, 2009 at 11:39 am

Oh my God, I’m so sorry!! My home was robbed a few months after I bought it five years ago (I’ve since moved) and it’s the most frustrating, violating, sad, angry, experience all wrapped into one. Why it happens to good people, I don’t know…good luck and hope they find the jerks!!
.-= Jolene´s last blog ..Another side benefit of dating… =-.

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singlemomseeking November 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Thanks everyone, I feel your warmth. I keep reminding myself that we’re all safe… I’m picking up the pieces and moving on. It’s amazing how kids really do model our behavior. That’s why I’m being so brave.

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Susan November 14, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Rachel, I’m so sorry to learn of this. Thank god you and M. are safe.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Taking a bow =-.

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Juggle Jane November 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm

I’m so sorry! Glad you are ok and I’ve got my fingers crossed they find the douchebags who did this.
.-= Juggle Jane´s last blog ..Dress Cute =-.

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NappyKitchen November 15, 2009 at 1:07 am

Yikes! Burglary in broad daylight IS very bold.

My coworker was telling me about the places near our office NOT to go during the holiday season because of the common daylight ROBBERIES! We work in small town and I was surprised that this was considered the norm during the holidays.

In the days before children, I always carried a gun (legally registered, of course). Now I’m considering carrying again. I can only imagine how you and M. must feel.

Prayers to you both.
.-= NappyKitchen´s last blog ..In Defense of the N-Word, Part III =-.

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Sandra November 15, 2009 at 1:07 am

OMG, I am so sorry to hear that !

That is simply horrible. The only explanation I can come up with is that he was probably high as a kite and needed a fix so bad that he would rob your kids.

Are you in California ? I live in the SF Bay Area.

I hope the catch the bastard.
.-= Sandra´s last blog ..Sleepy Saturday =-.

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VJ November 15, 2009 at 3:03 am

Sorry to hear this Rachel, but I’m glad you’re all safe physically. That’s the most important part. The violation will remain prominent, but it’s the safety that’s paramount. Dogs of almost any size will help, if for nothing else other than the noise factor. So will ‘nosey neighbors’ too, BTW. Sadly, for many PD’s they’re literally swamped with more serious ‘personal/violent crimes’ and often have little time to devote to ‘simple property crime’. But they’re all related, all important, and all indicative of how safe the neighborhood is. Alarms do help, but they are expensive to keep up.

On a lighter note, I’m somewhat surprised to hear NK recommend a gun, and that she carried one around for years before kids. Pretty amusing. My fav story from down South here is when one mommy shot one of Santa’s elves accidently when waiting in line with her tykes in tow at the mall visiting ‘Santaland’ when she dropped her purse on the hard tile floor. Always keep that safety on ladies! (Predictably, this was an older model derringer that was prone to such accidental firings when dropped. Most SA’s of similar vintage just were too). But yeah, pistol packing mommas are pretty common in ATL. SF perhaps, not so much!

So look out for a new decent rescue dog that needs a good home and a new duty post. Cheers & Brighter moments to you! ‘VJ’

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Nicki November 15, 2009 at 6:34 am

I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. Just know that I’m thinking of you and wishing for you…justice.

Take care. Curl up in that Lucky Guy’s arms and reap the benefits of a magic hug.
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..Looks like hair! =-.

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Jim Everson (Depot Dad) November 15, 2009 at 8:00 am

Maybe you should have a party to warm up the place (and reclaim it). I think it should be a dinner party because I’m kinda hungry.
.-= Jim Everson (Depot Dad)´s last blog ..In a Funny Place =-.

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Single Mom Seeking November 15, 2009 at 10:36 am

Everyone should know that Jim — Depot Dad — is just one of the many friends who has been at my side through this.
Thank you sweet Jim!
P.S. The dinner idea is a GREAT one. I’ve got to get cooking for you.
.-= Single Mom Seeking´s last blog ..To the guys who robbed my home yesterday =-.

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Priscilla San Remo November 15, 2009 at 2:47 pm

So sorry to hear about your robbery. My house is for sale right now, and it’s creepy enough to have people going through my things in a legitimate way (the guy who reprogrammed my water softener without my permission and the couple who went through the lingerie drawer in my armoire notwithstanding), without thinking about strangers rifling through them for quick resale drug money. So glad you and M. are OK!!!

Get a dog. A big dog. A dog who means business. A dog whose growl will make a potential intruders run the other way. A dog whose head suddenly appearing in the window will make guys like the a**holes who robbed your place wet themselves. Seriously.

I saved my Oscar’s butt by adopting him from rescue, and he has saved mine. Twice. One case, I believe was an intended physical assault (a workman who had been doing construction on my house and knew exactly where he thought he could break in). Oscar, at 7 months and already over 100 pounds, cornered him and eventually flushed him from the yard. The other incident looked like a potential smash and grab. Oscar alerted me to the presence of a man carrying a book bag standing between my house and my neighbor’s at 4:30 in the morning. And I live in a “safe” neighborhood in a small city.

Most robberies are unarmed, because of the legal ramifications if caught, so unless some is prepared to shoot your dog, no one is going to mess with you or your stuff.

You can get the typical family dog like a Lab or a golden, and they will usually make a lot of noise if someone comes on your property. They are certainly a good burglar alarm if you are home. But they’re a mediocre deterrent to would be intruders, can be bought off with food, they require a TON of exercise, and they CHEW, CHEW, CHEW. I loved my Labrador, Otis, but he was more like a high-maintenance frat boy, not a guard dog.

I could go on and on about the loyalty, trainability, mellowness, etc., of my favorite breed, the Rottweiler. They get a bad rap, because they are used quite a bit for protection work, so a lot of idiots buy them, don’t train them correctly, and get into trouble when they bite (like pitbulls, which are usually less intelligent and more unpredictable).

I actually think the classic Rottweiler temperament is what many people believe they are getting when they get a Lab or golden, and they’re surprised when they wind up with a hyper, non-stop retrieving machine (um, hello, that’s what they’re bred for!).

Mastiffs, Dobermans, and Schnauzers make great protective dogs, as do most dogs that were bred for herding, such as the German Shepherd and even the Australian Cattle Dog. The issue with most of these is you have to be 100% committed to training the dog so it is reliable with children and people you allow in your home (vs. those you don’t). You need to be a consistent alpha figure and make it clear M. ranks up there as a pack leader, as well. This is true of any dog, actually.

I would get a young dog that is past the housebreaking, the-world-is-my-teething-ring stage, but that is still impressionable enough to train and build a bond with your family. Of course, you can get that with an older dog, too; it’s just a little harder.

Sorry, I tend to wax rhapsodic about dogs… If you do wind up going that route, let me know. I’d be happy to offer advice to make the experience a positive one for you. Good luck!

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Bryan November 15, 2009 at 4:48 pm

I’m so sorry to hear this. Just glad that neither you nor your daughter were home to be put in any type of needless danger. I’ll never forget as a kid we had taken a family vacation for a week or so, only to return to find our home had been broken in to and vandalized. Items strewn about everywhere, most needlessly destroyed and all for nothing. I don’t even recall what they actually stole, if anything. Most just destroyed things for the sake of destroying them.

As it turns out, it was the kids of the neighbors that were supposedly keeping an eye on our home. Yes, more or less an “inside job”. After all, we lived on a small street out of the way and who better than them to know we’d be away from home. Perhaps that was the reason for the extra damage, to give it the effect of a stranger breaking in.

The worst part was the feeling of being violated, losing trust in others and wondering if you could ever leave home and come back to everything just as you left it. Just be thankful that it wasn’t worse and use it as a lesson to tighten up the ship so that next time, these idiot hooligans will be walkin’ the plank.

All my best, Bryan

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Michele November 16, 2009 at 7:48 am

I’m so sorry. I’m glad that you all are safe.
.-= Michele´s last blog ..Tiki Island Bar and Grill =-.

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MindyMom/Single Mom Says... November 16, 2009 at 8:27 am

OMG, Rachel! So sorry to hear this. It must feel like such a violation. I’m glad you and M. are otherwise unharmed.

Hugs to you both.
.-= MindyMom/Single Mom Says…´s last blog ..The Good, The Bad & The Rest of the Weekend =-.

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molly November 16, 2009 at 8:52 am

So sorry, my old apartment was robbed here in LA too. And 2 cars stolen. It all shook me to the core. One day, I saw gang graffiti across the street from that place and I was like, I’m outta here. I’m the poorest person in my new neighborhood but I feel much safer.
But I will from now on always have renters insurance and an alarm system.

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Bonnie November 16, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Oh, Rachel! So sorry to hear of this terrible violation! I recommend LG’s warm arms and keeping the alarm on all the time. I love our dog dearly, but she is another thing to care for, walk and feed! I do have our alarm on at ALL times even when we are home. Ask your alarm people to take you through the different settings and get in the habit of keeping it on at all times. I liked Depot Dad’ advice-a good housewarming and redecorating party with some fun friends will get rid of the bad energy in no time!

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Dale Ottley November 16, 2009 at 8:05 pm

Rachel, I just ordered a copy of your book and I so look forward to reading it. I hope your well and good.

More later…
.-= Dale Ottley´s last blog ..Welcome to Caowfee Tawwk [Coffee Talk] – Talk amongst yourselves! =-.

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Andrea November 17, 2009 at 10:59 am

I’m so sorry, Rachel. What a terrible experience for both of you. I’m glad you’re both safe and taking steps to keep yourselves safe.

I hope they’re caught soon.

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Julie November 17, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Adding my condolences. I’ve been robbed before and it is such an unsettling experience. Brings to mind “falling down the rabbit hole.”

Like others have suggested, this could be a good time to start fresh! Much love, girl.
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Nov 5, Family Values =-.

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