Single parenting ends tomorrow!

by singlemomseeking on November 30, 2009

So, I use Tweet Deck to follow certain groups via Twitter, from relationship experts to some sharp, witty moms and dads (you know who you are!). And it’s the folks who Tweet about being single parenting who really intrigue me.

Here’s an example of what I recently read on Twitter:

Not sure if I’m single parenting or not but we’ll put it on our calendar!”

“Single parenting until Sunday night. Please send food and a charwoman.”

“Time to start my first night of single parenting.”

“Single parenting ends tomorrow!”

“Looking at 5 days of single parenting. The upside of it is that I get the whole bed to myself. The downside – insanity.”

As you can guess, none of the parents above are actually single. They’re married — and they’re Tweeting about being sans the hubby (or wife).  Even if you’re not on Twitter, surely you’ve heard married folks complain like this. Say, at school or at the playground. Right?

married mom stress

So, I’m so curious to know:

Does their occasional whining bug you?

Or, do you feel empathy for them?

After all, clearly these married moms DO feel like single moms once in a while. Maybe their husbands travel often — or they commute long hours for work.

Let’s be honest here: I don’t feel like the same solo mom I’ve been for years, now that I’ve got that Lucky Guy to lean on. He has certainly helped me get through many stressful events since we started dating.

So, maybe I just need to keep my mouth shut and send these parents some kindness and understanding? What do you think?

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

hannah December 12, 2009 at 9:36 pm

it bugs me. They can see the light at the end of their tunnel. And while I love my parenting arrangement and wouldn’t in a million years trade it for the relationship I had with my husband, the loneliness, the empty bed, the no one cooking for me but myself? That may go on forever, and they have no idea how that feels.
.-= hannah´s last blog ..Push =-.


Big City Dad December 10, 2009 at 8:26 pm

Hate to say it, but it makes me laugh. While I no empathy whatsoever, I love helping my boys out when they’re on their own. Things like braiding hair, tying a ponytail, cooking dinner while holding a 3 year old…it cracks me up to see them struggle. Nothing like a good teasing to help lighten the mood.
.-= Big City Dad´s last blog ..On the Band Wagon =-.


Tiffany December 9, 2009 at 8:24 pm

Everything is harder when you’re not used to it. True single moms (and dads) may have it harder, but we have systems down, and we know what to expect. We don’t start to run out the door to the pharmacy only to realize that there’s no one on the bench and we have to bundle up the sick kid and take her to the pharmacy with us. Just being prepared and having routines that we’ve learned to make work makes all the difference in the world.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Maybe She’s Just Not that Into You =-.


HiveMama December 9, 2009 at 10:56 am

It’s natural to feel annoyed when you hear these complaints, but I don’t think they mean to be insensitive. It’s just too easy sometimes to lapse into taking your husband or wife for granted. I’m not a single mom, but I struggled with infertility for years, and it’s a similar thing. Women who have never been through that have no clue, yet it’s not their fault. It’s easy to talk about stepping into someone’s shoes, but a totally different reality when you actually LIVE it. But, we are stronger for it, are we not?


Allison December 7, 2009 at 5:01 am

A lot of my married friends have husbands that travel for work, but so far none of them has actually described it as single parenting. I do have some pity for them; it can always be hard to be on your own. I think the upside of single parenting in one way is that this is the way it always is. If something goes wrong, well, you handle it because you have to. When something goes wrong for one of my married friends, it can be more of a shock because they’re used to having some help around. The bottom line is that they aren’t single parents because at some point, somebody’s coming home to offer support if not help.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..TV experiment =-.


saint nobody December 2, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Good question, great topic. I used to say stuff like that when i was still married….my ex is a jazz musician and was gone on several lenthy tours while we were still together, and was often working nights and weekends, so it felt pretty isolating.

I have to say, though, that because my ex is really involved, and for the time being his situation is such that he cares for them at my apartment during the week, it sometimes does not feel a whole lot different. Hmmm.
.-= saint nobody´s last blog need of chocolate =-.


Coachdad December 2, 2009 at 6:09 pm

When one of my boys complains about being alone with his kids, I just say “Welcome to my world…”
.-= Coachdad´s last blog ..Here is my rock =-.


Floridagirl December 2, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Sometimes it bothers me and sometimes it doesn’t but either way I usually brush it off. Everyone’s reality is their own. I am a completely solo parent (so well put by some on here) with no family nearby so there are times when I am jealous of the married ones complaining. How I would love to just talk to another adult about my daughter on the phone or go to the grocery store by myself or sleep in one Saturday a month. But then I take a step back and I often wonder how the married ones fit in time for their husbands and their relationships especially if the mom works. Life is busy enough and I don’t have to make time for this too. And then there are times that I’m thankful that I get to make all of the decisions and someone else isn’t overriding something or saying something different to my daughter. So I think there are pros and cons to both worlds.


Christena December 2, 2009 at 2:54 pm

I feel like such a clueless single mother when it comes to the topic of single parenting. I was married 10 years ago… then I wasn’t and I think life is easier outside of marriage. So as I approached 40, I chose single motherhood with a fertility clinic and vial of biodad. I love being a single mom without the complications of a relationship. Of course my kid is only a year old and the hard stuff is yet to come, so what the hell do I know. And maybe I’ll want a husband or long term relationship again some day. So I guess I just don’t at all relate to “those” non-single, single parents. If that’s what they want to call themselves, then I guess I welcome them to the club with open arms or a pat on the back. I really like this club and hope they enjoy their visit!!
.-= Christena´s last blog ..Another Wordful Wednesday =-.


Deesha December 2, 2009 at 12:56 pm

I am currently single (engaged) and a parent, and I still don’t sing the “single parent” blues. Why? Because I know I have things waaaaaaaaaaay easier than my single mom ever did in large part because I have shared custody and an active co-parent. And I didn’t sing them when I was married either, when my ex traveled for work.
.-= Deesha´s last blog ..“Sex and the Single Parent” on the next “Co-Parenting Matters” Show =-.


BigLittleWolf December 2, 2009 at 11:14 am

I am also a little bit over the “single mom” “single dad” thing. We’re parents. Parenting is challenging under the best of circumstances. And tiring, stressful, and joyful.

That said, as a 95% solo mom for 8 years (and before that, the ex traveled so it was similar except I wasn’t broke), when I hear married men or women whine about “going it alone” I simply walk away. It’s a different world. But it’s their world and to them, it ain’t easy. But I walk away. And feel grateful that I have had awesome kids to parent all these years, who’ve been part of the “team” with me, as we’ve raised each other in so many ways.
.-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..10 things you don’t know about me =-.


Maggie December 2, 2009 at 12:12 pm

I’m with you BigLittleWolf. Parenting is not easy. I think it can be tough when you are in a marriage, raising children and the spouse is gone. Change can be very difficult. It used to bother me when married parents would complain about their spouse but like you said it’s their world. It’s an apples to oranges kind of thing. They haven’t experienced what we as single parents go through and honestly, I don’t believe they are being insensitive – they just don’t know.


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