Comments on: Triggers http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/ Remarried and Remodeling Mon, 21 May 2012 03:42:50 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Keeping the door open | Single Mom Seeking http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-15511 Keeping the door open | Single Mom Seeking Wed, 09 Jun 2010 05:16:06 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-15511 [...] room. His expression is worried, and he says: “I’m scared, love.” The truth is, you feel afraid sometimes, too. What can you do with all this fear except just face it? You remember when the door [...] [...] room. His expression is worried, and he says: “I’m scared, love.” The truth is, you feel afraid sometimes, too. What can you do with all this fear except just face it? You remember when the door [...]

]]> By: Allowing | Single Mom Seeking http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-14559 Allowing | Single Mom Seeking Wed, 10 Feb 2010 07:04:04 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-14559 [...] course, we’re not always in the kitchen together, and every once in a while, my triggers go off. I’m learning how to pay attention to my fears. My defense mechanism is to shut down. And [...] [...] course, we’re not always in the kitchen together, and every once in a while, my triggers go off. I’m learning how to pay attention to my fears. My defense mechanism is to shut down. And [...]

]]> By: NappyKitchen http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13368 NappyKitchen Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:46:48 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13368 Nicki said "I know all about triggers. It’s my goal to lose them before my next relationship." Nicki, if you manage to do this, please let me know how. ;) My triggers have been set off for the umpteenth time within the past few weeks. I am definitely not handling them well. ;) .-= NappyKitchen´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.nappykitchen.com/blog/2009/11/in-defense-of-the-n-word-part-iii/" rel="nofollow">In Defense of the N-Word, Part III</a> =-. Nicki said “I know all about triggers. It’s my goal to lose them before my next relationship.”

Nicki, if you manage to do this, please let me know how. ;) My triggers have been set off for the umpteenth time within the past few weeks. I am definitely not handling them well. ;)
NappyKitchen´s last blog ..In Defense of the N-Word, Part III My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: JennyMac http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13201 JennyMac Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:54:39 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13201 Very thoughtful and thought provoking post. .-= JennyMac´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/LetsHaveACocktail/~3/zIQq-mkh8ec/be-my-guest.html" rel="nofollow">Be my guest....</a> =-. Very thoughtful and thought provoking post.
JennyMac´s last blog ..Be my guest…. My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: singlemomseeking http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13199 singlemomseeking Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:29:32 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13199 Oh, @CoachDad, I hope you're able to open up again. I've been there, in shutting-down mode. It's one of my defense mechanisms for sure. And guess what? It doesn't work! So good to hear from you. Oh, @CoachDad, I hope you’re able to open up again. I’ve been there, in shutting-down mode. It’s one of my defense mechanisms for sure. And guess what? It doesn’t work! So good to hear from you.

]]> By: Coachdad http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13198 Coachdad Wed, 04 Nov 2009 05:23:59 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13198 Great read... my trigger is simply closing down and avoiding my gf. It didn't really help in prior relationships, so I am trying not to go there this time. .-= Coachdad´s last blog ..<a href="http://coachblogger25.blogspot.com/2009/11/tough-to-admit.html" rel="nofollow">Tough to admit</a> =-. Great read… my trigger is simply closing down and avoiding my gf. It didn’t really help in prior relationships, so I am trying not to go there this time.
Coachdad´s last blog ..Tough to admit My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: MC http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13197 MC Wed, 04 Nov 2009 01:59:05 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13197 I can relate to "triggers" too. I think everyone can, if they live long enough. Unless you've spent your adult life locked in a box, you are for sure going to have some emotional trauma and baggage. While it's fine to try to improve yourself for your own reasons, I do object to the general idea that we should try for our guys' sakes to make (or pretend) our psyches into being virtual virgins again. Especially if all that happens because of our baggage/triggers is that we might get a little insecure/freaked out/ or worried sometimes---why is that such a huge no-no? Why can't a man understand and deal with a little of that? What is the problem? My guy is just going to have to get used to the idea that I'm not a teenager in my first ever relationship. I've lived through lots of stuff and it does mark me. If he wants pristine he better throw me back. If he wants me, he will hopefully understand that my best attributes come from my history--precisely the same history that also gives me my quirks/triggers and other issues. I can relate to “triggers” too. I think everyone can, if they live long enough.

Unless you’ve spent your adult life locked in a box, you are for sure going to have some emotional trauma and baggage.

While it’s fine to try to improve yourself for your own reasons, I do object to the general idea that we should try for our guys’ sakes to make (or pretend) our psyches into being virtual virgins again.

Especially if all that happens because of our baggage/triggers is that we might get a little insecure/freaked out/ or worried sometimes—why is that such a huge no-no? Why can’t a man understand and deal with a little of that? What is the problem?

My guy is just going to have to get used to the idea that I’m not a teenager in my first ever relationship. I’ve lived through lots of stuff and it does mark me. If he wants pristine he better throw me back. If he wants me, he will hopefully understand that my best attributes come from my history–precisely the same history that also gives me my quirks/triggers and other issues.

]]> By: Samantha http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13195 Samantha Tue, 03 Nov 2009 20:33:40 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13195 You are so brave to share some of your triggers and deepest fears. I've been there and done that after dealing with an abusive ex and not so happy childhood. It's taken some years to process it all and finally get to a place of peace and happiness. It was a combination of things that got me through so it's no one thing that I can say "cure" me. I know you will find your way to the other side of this and have more great experiences to share. .-= Samantha´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/richsinglemommafeed/~3/u1asey6UmiI/how-rich-single-momma-makes-money-online" rel="nofollow">How Rich Single Momma Makes Money Online</a> =-. You are so brave to share some of your triggers and deepest fears. I’ve been there and done that after dealing with an abusive ex and not so happy childhood. It’s taken some years to process it all and finally get to a place of peace and happiness.

It was a combination of things that got me through so it’s no one thing that I can say “cure” me. I know you will find your way to the other side of this and have more great experiences to share.
Samantha´s last blog ..How Rich Single Momma Makes Money Online My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: andrea frazer http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13194 andrea frazer Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:38:57 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13194 Hi - It's easy to say "Oh, rely on yourself more" but sometimes we need another person. It's all, like in Yoga, finding the balance. If your true nature is someone who needs another at times like this, better to let LG know know than spring it on him later. At the same time, too much co-dependency is never good as no one can possibly fill that for you and you're left with burning a guy up, starting the vicious cycle over and over again. Wow, listen to me. I'm a regular psychologist. Girl, you're doing great! Hi – It’s easy to say “Oh, rely on yourself more” but sometimes we need another person. It’s all, like in Yoga, finding the balance. If your true nature is someone who needs another at times like this, better to let LG know know than spring it on him later. At the same time, too much co-dependency is never good as no one can possibly fill that for you and you’re left with burning a guy up, starting the vicious cycle over and over again. Wow, listen to me. I’m a regular psychologist.

Girl, you’re doing great!

]]> By: wandamd22 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/11/my-triggers/comment-page-1/#comment-13193 wandamd22 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:29:14 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=6181#comment-13193 I "ditto" all of that and have the same issues. I also find that when i do act during those uber-compulsive moments that the embarrassment afterward sticks and prevents me from repeating them now I am aware. I “ditto” all of that and have the same issues. I also find that when i do act during those uber-compulsive moments that the embarrassment afterward sticks and prevents me from repeating them now I am aware.

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