More straight talk because the holidays are coming

by singlemomseeking on November 20, 2009

When a blogger writes that kind of raw, vulnerable, here-I-am kind of post, you can’t help but stop what you’re doing and read on.

A couple of single parent bloggers have written like this recently about one particular subject: alcohol. Maybe these posts have struck me deeply because I’ve started to write more openly about my own history with alcoholism. These bloggers’ honesty makes me want to spread some empathy around. Will you join me?

Kristen at Better Now has been writing more about how alcohol has “caused so much destruction in so many facets of my life” — and what’s she’s doing to change this. (She rocked that recent half-marathon. Wow!)

party

Then, Coach Bloggerfather of four (!) daughters — recently wrote about a very dark place he reached in his post, Tough To Admit.

It started with his 20th high school reunion this month. He’s now the coach of what was “one of the best football teams our school ever had.”

But rather than feeling excited to see old friends that night, he explains why he was down: the school’s team has not been as successful as it was in the past. “That was exactly the reason why I didn’t want go,” he writes. “While seeing old friends and sharing stories from the past was intriguing, having to answer questions on why our football team is now struggling was worth avoiding.”

Still, he went — and all of his friends bought drinks for him. All night.

He comes from a family in which alcoholism runs deep, and he writes very openly about how alcohol has affected him, how it turned that ” shy, insecure kid from high school” into a “funny, loud.. guy to be around.”

If you’d like to know what happened after Coach left that party — and how he dealt with the aftermath — you can read it all on his blog:

For now, I simply want to offer lots of support as he bravely faces some deep realizations. How many of us have been there?

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November 20, 2009 at 8:05 pm

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Terra (aka Zoeyjane) November 20, 2009 at 8:03 pm

Been there, dealing with it everyday when Zoë can’t call her dad (and he doesn’t call her) because he might be drinking, every Friday night when I hope he isn’t up all night getting plowed and therefore breaking the rules of our visitation agreement, every Saturday and Sunday afternoon when he cuts off their visit to the minute because he has “stuff to do” (which he’s explained is often about needing to drink).

Add to that my absent mom, all through my childhood, and you could say that I know about the effects of alcoholism. It’s so hard to deal with – on both sides.
.-= Terra (aka Zoeyjane)´s last blog ..On the ugly truth =-.

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Nicki November 21, 2009 at 5:59 am

Alcohol definitely played a role in the ending of my marriage. (And I can say thins on your blog, but avoid it on mine. Rachel doesn’t need to know…)
He came from a long line of alcoholics in denial. And he, too, has had issues not limited to and including THE LAW because of it. When I saw that nothing was ever going to change no matter what I said or did or begged or pleaded, I had to get out of the situation.

Still recovering from that. It’ll leave a mark…on your soul.
.-= Nicki´s last blog ..I may have to cancel Thanksgiving… =-.

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Coachdad November 22, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Thanks for the kind words, and most importantly, the support in my quest to stay sober. It isn’t easy, but it is the only way I can be now.
.-= Coachdad´s last blog ..My testicles and me =-.

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Swati Bharteey November 22, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Thank you for this post; my ex is a binge drinker and it really helps me to hear about it up close and personal.
Swati
.-= Swati Bharteey´s last blog ..Chicken with Tomatoes and Lime (delicious, quick, and healthy recipe) =-.

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Honey November 22, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Jake and I have had troubles because of his drinking – we almost broke up this summer: http://honeyandlance.com/drinking-cheating-and-other-concerns
.-= Honey´s last blog ..A Hot Guy Sent Me Chocolate Covered Strawberries =-.

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singlemomseeking November 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm

@Honey, a post like this is challenging for me to write because it means I’ve got to take some responsibility, too… Thanks for the honesty. That goes for ALL of you, actually. Thank you.

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Danielle November 23, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Ah, I have not written about this subject, but was talking about it with some close friends this weekend. The subject really hits home with me.
.-= Danielle´s last blog ..Fat lips and crazy nights =-.

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