Comments on: Single soccer mom? http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/ Remarried and Remodeling Wed, 08 Feb 2012 06:21:46 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: OaklandMama http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12931 OaklandMama Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:33:59 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12931 You Folks are so great - thanks for the support! You Folks are so great – thanks for the support!

]]> By: SavvyDivorcedChick http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12922 SavvyDivorcedChick Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:24:03 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12922 I completely understand OaklandMama's situation and feelings! It wasn't soccer games...it was hockey, and not only did the girlfriend come to the games, but she made a scene bouncing my daughter on her lap and calling her by the nickname only family called her! It was apparent she wasn't really there to support my boys and they knew it and didn't like her there. I intended to say something nicely to my former husband on behalf of the boys (even though I also thought it was totally inappropriate that she behaved that way and wanted to say something), but in the end didn't I need to. The hockey families were a very close-knit group since we were often traveling for tournaments, and when none of the other moms who I had known for years embraced her, she stopped coming. If there is a way to make it about your daughter, and not you, your almost ex-husband will probably be more receptive. Unfortunately when they leave for someone else or quickly jump into another relationship before the divorce, they are beyond the point of caring about our feelings. Colleen, The Savvy Divorced Chick I completely understand OaklandMama’s situation and feelings! It wasn’t soccer games…it was hockey, and not only did the girlfriend come to the games, but she made a scene bouncing my daughter on her lap and calling her by the nickname only family called her! It was apparent she wasn’t really there to support my boys and they knew it and didn’t like her there.

I intended to say something nicely to my former husband on behalf of the boys (even though I also thought it was totally inappropriate that she behaved that way and wanted to say something), but in the end didn’t I need to. The hockey families were a very close-knit group since we were often traveling for tournaments, and when none of the other moms who I had known for years embraced her, she stopped coming.

If there is a way to make it about your daughter, and not you, your almost ex-husband will probably be more receptive. Unfortunately when they leave for someone else or quickly jump into another relationship before the divorce, they are beyond the point of caring about our feelings.

Colleen, The Savvy Divorced Chick

]]> By: Martini Mom http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12921 Martini Mom Mon, 12 Oct 2009 22:12:48 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12921 Hmmm.... My exhusband coaches our son's soccer team, and we've both brought our boyfriends/girlfriends to games. However, we were divorced a long time before our son started playing soccer so it wasn't at all awkward for us. In fact, now that we're both in serious relationships (my ex is remarried and I'm living with my boyfriend) I wish that my son's step-mom would come to MORE of his soccer games. But I agree with Rachel: it sounds like it's too soon for you, and in that case I don't think it's at all unreasonable to request that she not come to the games while you're there. You've offered a (very generous) compromise to take a day off coaching. Seems like that would be a more than adequate solution for now. Good luck! .-= Martini Mom´s last blog ..<a href="http://kbhotmama.blogspot.com/2009/10/ive-written-post-about-tshirt-again.html" rel="nofollow">I've written a post about a tshirt. Again.</a> =-. Hmmm…. My exhusband coaches our son’s soccer team, and we’ve both brought our boyfriends/girlfriends to games. However, we were divorced a long time before our son started playing soccer so it wasn’t at all awkward for us. In fact, now that we’re both in serious relationships (my ex is remarried and I’m living with my boyfriend) I wish that my son’s step-mom would come to MORE of his soccer games.

But I agree with Rachel: it sounds like it’s too soon for you, and in that case I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to request that she not come to the games while you’re there. You’ve offered a (very generous) compromise to take a day off coaching. Seems like that would be a more than adequate solution for now.

Good luck!
Martini Mom´s last blog ..I’ve written a post about a tshirt. Again. My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: singlemomseeking http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12920 singlemomseeking Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:54:45 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12920 Wow, Oakland Mama, you coach! You go! I'm so impressed. I DO agree that the soccer games need to be about your daughter right now -- and not about the new girlfriend. It's great that she wants to come and support your daughter.... but it sounds too soon. I hope that your ex can respect this for the time being. (Surely, he can come alone. It's only for one hour!). I'd love to know if any other parents have dealt with this: has your ex brought the new boyfriend/girlfriend to your kid's soccer game? Wow, Oakland Mama, you coach! You go! I’m so impressed.

I DO agree that the soccer games need to be about your daughter right now — and not about the new girlfriend. It’s great that she wants to come and support your daughter…. but it sounds too soon. I hope that your ex can respect this for the time being. (Surely, he can come alone. It’s only for one hour!).

I’d love to know if any other parents have dealt with this: has your ex brought the new boyfriend/girlfriend to your kid’s soccer game?

]]> By: OaklandMama http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12905 OaklandMama Mon, 12 Oct 2009 05:47:49 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12905 Love this post - especially because I coach my 5 yr old's soccer team (in the same league as your daughter, Rachel!). We have three single mommies on our team and I work hard to make sure they all feel included. One thing I struggle with is that my ex husband wants to bring his new girlfriend to the games. I am sooooo not ready for this. We aren't even divorced yet! And it's just too painful for me. Am I nuts to want to keep this time without all the adult drama? Am I being unfair to ask him to kindly keep her away while I'm at the games? I even offered to take a day off as coach so that she could attend a game, but I just don't want her shoved down my throat! I know I'm late commenting on this post but I'd love your thoughts, single parents! Oakland Soccer Mama Love this post – especially because I coach my 5 yr old’s soccer team (in the same league as your daughter, Rachel!). We have three single mommies on our team and I work hard to make sure they all feel included.

One thing I struggle with is that my ex husband wants to bring his new girlfriend to the games. I am sooooo not ready for this. We aren’t even divorced yet! And it’s just too painful for me.

Am I nuts to want to keep this time without all the adult drama? Am I being unfair to ask him to kindly keep her away while I’m at the games? I even offered to take a day off as coach so that she could attend a game, but I just don’t want her shoved down my throat!

I know I’m late commenting on this post but I’d love your thoughts, single parents!

Oakland Soccer Mama

]]> By: SingleDad http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12849 SingleDad Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:13:24 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12849 I had to "hang up my cleats" a long time ago.. and it was a tough transition from being a player, to a coach, to a spectaor and a father on the sidelines for all three of mykids. It's hard lesson to learn, but it's supposed to be about the kids and not about a parent's competitive spirit.... RJ I had to “hang up my cleats” a long time ago.. and it was a tough transition from being a player, to a coach, to a spectaor and a father on the sidelines for all three of mykids.
It’s hard lesson to learn, but it’s supposed to be about the kids and not about a parent’s competitive spirit….

RJ

]]> By: BigLittleWolf http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12848 BigLittleWolf Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:53:26 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12848 Competition is such a touchy issue - not only in sports. Even music, other extracurricular activities, academics ... when parents overreact, it's bad news. Kids pick up on all of that, of course. WE need to be good examples of reasonable competitiveness, in this as all else. .-= BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..<a href="http://dailyplateofcrazy.wordpress.com/2009/10/06/wanted-men-in-togas-pay-negotiable/" rel="nofollow">Wanted: Men in togas. Pay negotiable.</a> =-. Competition is such a touchy issue – not only in sports. Even music, other extracurricular activities, academics … when parents overreact, it’s bad news. Kids pick up on all of that, of course. WE need to be good examples of reasonable competitiveness, in this as all else.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Wanted: Men in togas. Pay negotiable. My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Dave http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12847 Dave Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:46:33 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12847 Enjoyed the post - I had to laugh when reading... It's a big funny-ha-ha in my family (the whole soccer-mom thing). I'm a recently divorced father of two who has started dating a single mom (7-years more experienced than I). Her sons play soccer almost everyday - she's always running from field to field, tournament to tournament. My brother and I used to joke around about all the HOT soccer-moms, now I've got one of my own :) Dave ~ www.omniswami.com A Single Dad Meandering Through Life .-= Dave´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.omniswami.com/2009/10/its-a-quiet-house-when-the-kids-are-away/" rel="nofollow">It’s a Quiet House When the Kids Are Away</a> =-. Enjoyed the post – I had to laugh when reading…

It’s a big funny-ha-ha in my family (the whole soccer-mom thing). I’m a recently divorced father of two who has started dating a single mom (7-years more experienced than I). Her sons play soccer almost everyday – she’s always running from field to field, tournament to tournament.

My brother and I used to joke around about all the HOT soccer-moms, now I’ve got one of my own :)

Dave ~
http://www.omniswami.com
A Single Dad Meandering Through Life
Dave´s last blog ..It’s a Quiet House When the Kids Are Away My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: kriz bell http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12845 kriz bell Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:55:21 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12845 my daughter is on the verge of dance and soccer- but even in preschool you can smell the overly competitive parents- makes me sad then angry when i have to bite my tongue. on a more positive note, I love the t-shirt. i have always wanted (even before i joined the ranks, when i was a supporter of my single parent friends) something that told the world around me hey! i'm this kind of single, without resorting to some sort of specifically folded and color coded bandana in my back pocket or a t-shirt that just wasn't gonna make it as a daily uniform. if there was something- would anybody wear it? would you like a little subtle, casual but cool something that told everybody around you, loud and proud while strategic- hey i'm a single parent? .-= kriz bell´s last blog ..<a href="http://wonderfulbeingagirl.blogspot.com/2009/10/see-what-im-sayin.html" rel="nofollow">see what i'm sayin'?</a> =-. my daughter is on the verge of dance and soccer- but even in preschool you can smell the overly competitive parents- makes me sad then angry when i have to bite my tongue.
on a more positive note, I love the t-shirt. i have always wanted (even before i joined the ranks, when i was a supporter of my single parent friends) something that told the world around me hey! i’m this kind of single, without resorting to some sort of specifically folded and color coded bandana in my back pocket or a t-shirt that just wasn’t gonna make it as a daily uniform. if there was something- would anybody wear it? would you like a little subtle, casual but cool something that told everybody around you, loud and proud while strategic- hey i’m a single parent?
kriz bell´s last blog ..see what i’m sayin’? My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Mike http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/10/single-soccer-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-12842 Mike Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:49:46 +0000 http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=5896#comment-12842 Hey that shirt should work great anyplace. Says a lot about the wearer. Hey that shirt should work great anyplace. Says a lot about the wearer.

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