If there’s one thing I learned at BlogWorld Expo this month, it’s this:
My blog has slowly been losing its authenticity. You can tell me the truth. I can take it.
When I originally started this blog more than two years ago, my goal was simple: to connect with other single moms. (You should have seen me whooping around the room when dads began showing up, too. Thanks guys!)
My aim was simple: to be genuine and sincere. Then, that economic downturn hit. I quickly lost much of my well-paying work in textbook publishing. In the meantime, I watched more and more businesses turning to blogs to advertise.
So, when companies came knocking and asked to “sponsor” posts, did I say “no”? (You know the answer.)
I’m very sorry if I’ve lost some of you along the way. I know that I have.
I started this blog because I wanted to tell it like it is: how to get back on your feet as a single parent, how to dating again, how to balance your career with everything else. I’m not a supermom, and I’m far from being mainstream. I have flaws. I’ve had my heart broken.
While I’m currently working on some positive, long-term relationships with companies, I’m also doing my best to keep this blog from sounding like a diaper ad. Please trust me on this.
But don’t get me wrong:
If American Girl offered me the chance to run their next campaign to promote biracial dolls, I just might delete this entire post and go for it:
* (Ha, just kidding! American Girl doesn’t have a line of biracial dolls — yet! And if they ever do, let’s hope those folks do NOT mimic Barbie, with its new line of black dolls and hair-straightening kits. Puh-lease.)
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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Rachel, How about looking at it from the perspective that you’ve done a lot of healing in that time and you’ve had new interests in life as you’ve overcome the trials of the past. That would mean you’re in a better place than you were two years ago. I began the Dads Center in the same boat. Single dad. Wanting to show the world I could do it. And I did. But then my life changed. I met someone. She had more kids than I did. And my perspectives changed. That’s a good thing.
The fact that you’d write a post like this shows you’re just as authentic as you ever were. Hang in there. The world’s pulling for you and a little happier place because you’re here.
Daddy Claxton´s last blog ..Product Bloggers Beware! New FTC disclosure requirements!
So honored to hear from you @Daddy Claxton! As you — and other bloggers, such as @T — have pointed out, it can be challenging to transition a blog that was founded upon your identity.
My hope at the moment is to show others that you CAN love again, and be in a healthy, sweet relationship. Believe me, I wasn’t sure it was possible….
Amen to that last comment!
I agree. You have always been authentic Rachel. You can’t help but be her.
But your readership will change as you do. Believe me.
Big hugs and thanks for sharing your awareness.
T´s last blog ..Who I am/Who I was
I don’t blame you for accepting sponsors. If someone offered to pay me to write a blog, I wouldn’t say no. I haven’t even had any loss of income (outside of tuition!) .
But…from a reader’s perspective, I have a limited amount of time (like everyone else) and I don’t want to spend 5 minutes reading about flavored water.
I’m still here, but I bet some people aren’t. I’m sure you count on the income from this blog to pay your bills, so I don’t expect ads to go away. You need to balance the needs of the advertisers with the desires of the readers. Personally, I have no problem with the side ads, but I’m not a fan of the blog post ads. It doesn’t make me want to buy their product – it actually has the opposite effect.
I’m glad you are aware of the issue. That’s good enough for me.
Oh, @Phil, I’m so glad to know that you are still lurking here! And bravo on finding a great woman.
All right, no more flavored water posts… you got it.
I have no problem with sponsored posts peppered here and there. When a blog is completely sponsored then I lose interest. And what is this nonsense about Barbie hair straightening kits? I must have misread that. Yes, that is it.
@Renee, I just found out that the hair straightening kit cost $10 MORE than the actual doll!
It’s easy to lose focus when we really do have to worry about finances. We’re single moms, struggling to make it, feeling added pressure knowing that when we fail, we don’t simply hurt ourselves. It can be practically debilitating. Lately, I’ve felt the pressure more than normal. It has me second guessing my every decision.
Just remember, live life with no regrets. And if you feel like you’ve fallen off you path, dust yourself off, a get back on your journey.
Nicki´s last blog ..Oh, the pressure…
I agree with T; as you change, your readership will change, too. As well, you naturally lose readers over time for a variety of reasons, not simply due to excessive advertising. However with the losses, you acquire new readers as well.
Knowing the kind of person you are, things like this don’t bother me. And yes, thank you for being aware. You do what you have to do and what you think is best, and it will all work out.
Don’t beat yourself up I like your blog!
Jamie´s last blog ..Tally It Up Tuesday and Some Other Ramblings!
I don’t mind side or banner ads either. But when I hit a site that is all about product, I’m outta there as quickly as possible. Still, as single parents – and those of us who are professional writers hit by the recession – any opportunity to make a little money is hard to walk away from. People forget that freelancers and contractors don’t show up in any statistics anywhere; we’re long past the “unemployment” roles. We don’t have disability benefits when we’re sick or injured. Many of us have no benefits at all – except perhaps the satisfaction of reaching out and touching others with words. And connecting to that community that understands.
You’re community is still here, Rachel. And we all know that life throws a little of everything our way – good and bad – and that means change. No worries.
BigLittleWolf´s last blog ..Breast-fed boomer boy: how NOT to pick up a girl
Hi Rachel……there always going to be a balance between monetization of your blog and being true to your readers.
From what I see here it looks very professional.
Just make sure it doesn’t become too cluttered and make sure your posts are from the heart and not from the pocket book……don’t stop!
If American Girl wanted to pay me (in dolls for The Girl or otherwise) I’d be all over it, too! Honestly, having been unemployed (ok, I’ve been bartending part-time) for 18 months, I would definately bite if someone offered to pay to write. But in that, you can still maintain the authenticity of who you are. I’ve only been a reader of yours for a short time, but I don’t think that you’re a sellout in any way! You are very real and very authentic!
That One Mom´s last blog ..What to Do With All of That Candy?!?!
I stumbled upon your blog about a week ago when I was in bed with a nasty flu and spent a lot of time reading through some of your older posts. I particularly enjoy the more thought provoking posts as they attract such wonderful response from your readers. I have much in common with you and your audience, although I live in Australia.
I hope that you continue with some of the “heavier issues” whilst at the same time I do acknowledge that you have to pay the bills (as we all do). “Advertorial” though is a turn off.
Btw, in the seventies, when I was about eight, I was given a black Barbie doll by the name of “Carla”. Does anyone remember her? I adored her and played with her for years. (Interestingly I’m Anglo-Australian and so was the girl who gave her to me). Stupidly, I sold her in a yard sale 20 years ago. I would love to still have her today.
For a while I thought it’d be a great way to make money; blog for money. I put up the advertisements and sent out e-mails to friends and families asking them to click on the ads. But after a while I just stopped caring and decided to take off anything monetary. So now if I do any giveaways or reviews it’s because I found the subject interesting rather than trying to make a living off of it.
I say cheers to those who do it for the money and PR because if they’re able to get some success out of it then fine. Just as long as they have their integrity intact.
Restless Mama´s last blog ..With a click of a heel
Rachie,
I love the way you are—including your blog! Keep it up! Don’t change a thing!
Avigail74´s last blog ..Gypsy Family
I don’t mind–it’s pretty obvious when you’re selling something, so it’s easy to ignore like all the other ads on the web on all my other fav sites. I like everything else you write about–so keep it up!
My daughter has a black barbie that I got for her years ago. I bought my daughter’s doll at a gift shop at the American Airlines Training center in Dallas, approximately 2001 or so. She was the only doll there that was dressed as an American Airlines pilot, which I thought was cool!
Hey Ms. SMS, you are totally authentic.
As for American Girl, they just came out with a Homeless American Girl Doll … for $95. I kid you not.
Isn’t that, uh, weird?
Kat Wilder´s last blog ..Does being Ms. Picky get you Mr. Perfect?
I guess I stopped visiting this blog so much during the Crystal Light campaign, so I can see what you’re saying. You’re definitely still authentic, but I do miss your old tone.
Erica´s last blog ..Hear Me Roar
Rachel,
I think the piece you’re missing is that WE ALL change over time. So while we may be in sync with a person or blog at one point, changes might bring us closer and they may not.
My viewpoint is that I’m not interested in posts that link to products on a regular basis. I’m also not really interested in reading about relationships — good or bad. I stay away from blogs that bash exes. We’re all busy these days and I think we all — probably you included — choose very carefully how you spend your online time.
Doesn’t mean I don’t pop by to see the table LG made for you or that I’m not thrilled you are settled and happy. We all make our way in this blogosphere and have to get what we need out of it. And sometimes that means moving on — and it always means being open to change. And hopefully, keeping lines of communication open with someone who touched your heart.
amy sue nathan´s last blog ..Eat, meow and leave
oh u are way to hard on ur self. i have only been reading ur blog for about a year. and i totally enjoy it. i feel like ur blog has probably evolved with u. it would be unrealistic to think that as ur needs change that ur blog would stay the same. u have inspired me as a single mommy. kudos,ma’am. keep doing what you’re doing.
from the desk of…me´s last blog ..Grey Skies in search of Rainbows
You sound pretty authentic to me
Sometimes, you’ve just got to do what you need to. If people don’t hang around, then maybe they weren’t that great of a fan to begin with. Keep rocking.
Nathan Hangen´s last blog ..3 Ways to Turn Your Passion into Profits