Send strength

by singlemomseeking on August 7, 2009

Have you ever felt that incredible angst when you just want to do something?

If you could just go back in time, even change the molecules in a cell. I’m barely making sense here. It’s late.

If you’ve been reading my blog, then you know my friend, Jim, whom I met through this very site. He’s known as Depot Dad to most readers, and he has been battling melanoma for the past year.

Last weekend, M and I drove out to hang out with Jim and his sweet kids. He was as gracious — and silly — as ever. We bopped around to a couple of garage sales — and Jim even ended up with this huge penguin. Leave it to Jim to walk away with this penguin for FREE.


But yesterday, Jim sent me a text to say that he was on his way to the hospital. He was having trouble breathing. Hours later, and he calls, coughing, saying there’s been fluid build-up.

C’mon docs, do something. Please. Or, as Jim recently wrote on his blog:

“If the universe hands me bullshit, I have every right to slap the universe in the cheek with a cold dead fish.
“F*** You, Universe! You think you know what is going to happen? Well watch this!”

In the meantime, please visit Depot Dad’s blog. Email him. Cheer him on.

I’ve been reading poetry tonight, trying to send some good vibes over the hill. Following the Road, by Larry Smith, has me tonight.

“….I don’t know what to say
to any of this-Life’s hard.
And I say it aloud to myself,
Living is hard, and drive further
into the darkness, my headlights
only going so far.

I sense my own tense breath, this fear
we call stress, making it something else,
hiding from all that is real.

As I glide past Twin Lakes,
flat bodies of water under stars,
I hold the wheel gently, slowing my
body to the road, and know again that
this is just living, not a trauma
nor dying, but a lingering pain
reminding us that we are alive.”

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

MindyMom August 10, 2009 at 7:14 pm

I’m sending positive ju-ju and big hugs Jims way. And very soon I will have the pleasure of doing that in person! Look forward to that and meeting you IRL as well. 🙂 I emailed him today and he says he’s still up for it – being the trooper that he is.

See you soon!


Canadian Bald Guy August 9, 2009 at 2:03 pm

I’ve been following Jim for a little while now because I’m drawn to his cancer story (cancer has hit my family hard over the past few years).

I’m glad the latest was only a “Code Yellow” and that things aren’t as bad as they could be at this point.

Fluid around a cancerous area isn’t good; my mom has been dealing with fluid around her tumor lately.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not an overly religious guy, but I’ll say a small prayer tonight for Jim. He’s a great guy and certainly worth my time.


BlueBella August 8, 2009 at 2:22 pm

Hang in there, all of you. My prayers are with you.


Kari August 8, 2009 at 9:38 am

My heart is heavy…. my prayers are with him.


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