My guest post at Drinking Diaries is now live: “How honest should I be?“
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
When the editors at a new blog called Drinking Diaries recently asked me to write about alcohol, I was game.
No, not that kind of game. They did not ask me to describe my last experience with beer on tap or margaritas. Instead, they wanted me to delve into “your relationship/history/experiences/feelings relating to alcohol.”
Although I haven’t blogged much about addiction, I think about it often. Alcoholism runs in my family. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic (my daughter’s father). And recently, I’ve been emailing with another single mom — at She Was Just a Wish — about our own struggles with co-dependency.
So, here’s the issue: at some point, we both want to tell our daughters the truth about our exes struggles with alcohol. But how honest should I be?
Of course, age and development are factors here. I’m not about to launch into a full-blown dialogue about alcohol and genetics with my fourth grader. But still, I want to be prepared when it’s time to talk.
She Was Just a Wish has written to me about growing up in a family of secrets. No one talked about alcoholism. I really get that. As the years pass – and our daughters get older — we wonder about their futures.
This mother says she wants to be honest with her own child because being mute only “perpetuates the secrecy in which addictions thrive.”
Whenever I think about having a conversation about addiction in the future, however, I bite my bottom lip. Someday, I want to be honest about alcoholism, depression, and more. How will I even begin?
When I met my ex, on an airplane, one of the first things I noticed about him was the smell of alcohol on his breath. To most women, that would have been a red flag. But I had this rescue complex — co-dependency — and thought I could rescue them. Especially men. I was obsessed with thinking that I could save him. I take responsibility for being addicted, too.
If you have any advice on this one, thank you:
How honest and open should you be with your child?
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