She allowed his daughter to walk around the house completely nude at the age of 6. That isn’t what disturbed us, what disturbed us is the fact that she took a picture of his daughter and her other child, sleeping completely nude and put it up on Myspace. We were upset by this.

I grew up in a family that encouraged us to love and be proud of our bodies, but, the also taught us to be a little tactful and not flaunt our nudity.

I am ok with a child up to the age of 3 or so running around nude, but for a 6 year old child, sleeping on a couch in full view of the front door and anyone who may walk in or out of the house, is another story. There are too many weirdos out there and you don’t know who to trust.

She also used to sleep without panties on. When she would go to change into her pajamas, she would remove her panties.

She hasn’t done it since my fiance and I sat her down and talked to her about how the human body is a beautiful thing and nothing to be ashamed of but she also needs to protect it because there are plenty of people out there that would try to hurt it.

I left home, went to live in a different city, but it’s really hard to change behaviours of a lifetime. Being naked in that house to me is totally normal, and will be until either my father dies or he sells the home. Of course, I’ve got my own home now, you can guess what happens when I need something to eat when I’m in bed.

She walks around in panties bare chested. We recently came back from a week long trip to FL and much to my shock my step-daughter walked around the house over there bare chested! Granted, she did it in the morning and not during the day. There were many people around that she had never met before in her life. It seemed so inappropriate. Her father never saw her do this there, nor has he brought the subject up with her, so I finally mustered up enough strength to do it myself. Her response–she stared at me blankly. Now here’s another pattern I’ve noticed. If we go to the store, or if we’re out of the house in general she will constantly be lifting her shirt up and exposing her chest. I’ve talked to her about this, but she just stares at me. She understands what she’s doing, but I think what we need is a nice trip to a child psychologist. Unfortunately, due to other bad behavior on her part (spitting in her uncle’s face on the first day of our trip to FL) as well as my fiance’s lack of any kind of discipline (after she spit in her uncle’s face he took her to another room, talked to her and then put a nice disney movie on for her–am I really the only one who thinks that he only rewarded her behavior in doing so?) I think it’d be a great idea for us to go into some sort of parental counseling.

Any thoughts?

Thanks so much for your comment! This issue certainly brings up a lot of feelings for people.

What I’ve noticed is: most kids seem to naturally stop “running around with my clothes off” when they start school (age 5 or so).

Good for you for bringing this up with your husband. Hopefully, you two can have an open, loving conversation about this so that everyone feels comfortable.

I wonder if there’s room for compromise? It sounds like your step-daughter enjoys walking around (in the house only) without a t-shirt sometimes… but the rest of her body is clothed, yes?

I look forward to hearing how things go. Thanks.

Up until a time when kids start to be somewhat naturally aware of modesty and others sexuality it is fine. Be that age 4, 6 or 9. But at a certain point I started to close my door when I dressed and be aware of my child’s need for a bit of privacy. Yes, I’m his mom and he is not too shy aroud me. But he is at an age when he does not want or need to see me nude. Period.

As for preschoolers, it’s fine if the school allows it. The kids don’t really care if someone is undressed to play in water. But not during circle time.

And I believe kids as young as 2 and 3 can learn some of a time and place for everything. Until they do, we can help them.

In our home we represent both sides of the argument: I love that my girls feel comfortable in their home that they feel they can strip down to themselves in whatever context that means whether it be conversation or literally strip down. Their dad freaks. I teach modesty in my home(my girls wear one piece swimsuits at the public pool but I think it is vital and very important for them to be comfortable in their own skin and to feel safe,loved, and not judged in their home where the people who love them the most are. That’s what home is! It is important that both of my girls know that they have and I love their strong legs, round baby bellies, and beautiful backs – I want them to go out into the world with their clothes on of course but more importantly with confidence and love for themselves and all natural beauty out there with that comes empathy and genuineness!