We ended with the ex architect bc every time we took a walk or looked around at architects Guns loved his work the most! he is really talented and one the best green architects in our city.

Working with the ex-boyfriend for the most part was great! We always stayed very close friends. Our breakup was over him not feeling like he could provide or possibly be ready for family life. He respected and understood why I ended it. I think he was very happy to see us having the family life that I really wanted.

I suppose for Guns the most uncomfortable part was that my ex knew a lot about me. He knew without asking that I would want a drawing studio space, a vegetable garden, etc. He built those into the design as a surprise.

He dove into the project! And he designed us an amazing green home. I would say the most uncomfortable moment was when Guns was tactfully trying to explain that even though it wasn’t green that he wanted a double shower in the master bath. He was like “”listen, dude, we have 3 kids it’s the only place we can talk to each other and uh . . . be alone!”

It all worked out well. I have learned just hand all the still friends exes a beer, invite them in and just have some fun! At our age we all have them!

Mocha Dad´s last blog post…Car Conversations

1) Expectations. If we dwell on the fact that someone may be disloyal because an ex was, then we will attract just that. Even if we don’t want it.

If the person you are with is loyal, those negative thoughts and distrust will ultimately ruin the relationship.

One of my concepts is that we all have a “magnetic mojo”, a core that attracts our greatest desires–as well as our greatest fears! Master this and you can have anything you want.

2) Relationship cycles. One of the things I ask students who fear losing someone they love is “Are you still with the first person you loved?” Since most of the women I work with are over 30, the answer is likely to be NO.

How does this tie in with the fear of someone being disloyal? The best way to get over fear of being cheated on or hurt by a man is understanding the concept of “reason and season”. I teach that everyone is in our lives for a reason and a season.

There are people who are meant to be in our lives for 1 day and others for a lifetime. People come and people go–a natural ebb and flow. There is a valuable lesson to be learned in each encounter. While it is painful to lose someone, just trust that the next relationship will be even better. That person is no longer helping you grow or blessing your life, so they must leave.

Taking sufficient time to deal with the pain and let go is crucial. Once that is done, you can clear the slate and move on to a more fabulous future. If you skip placing a reason on that season and letting it go in love, then you will forever bring plagues from the past into your present.

When I learned to do all of this, moving on became easier. I understood that there was risk in love and that it may or may not work out, but I was going to enjoy the present to the MAX!

Yes, the baggage we carry is OURS alone and to be dealt with alone (not involving new partners). No one can throw it out for us, but they sure can get dirty if we let it sit around, lol!

About loyalty. Loyalty is about being dependable and showing up in the ways you promised you would. It is about being faithful physically, mentally and emotionally.

Loyalty is a big responsibility because it can also cause pain. If we have second thoughts or are no longer in love, then we have a duty as loyal partners to tell the person we are with. This is where many of us drop the ball because we are afraid to hurt the other person and are cowards.

Your wonderful post inspired me to write a novel here, LOL! Thanks and keep sharing with us!

Wishing you magnetic love & success!

Rhonda
@MagneticWoman

Rhonda´s last blog post…How to Speak Italian and Make Love to a Ducati

Amazing that you hired your ex to redesign your home.

He had to deal with me having very close guy friends, too! It runs both ways!

Guns gets along really well with woman. Most of his close friends are woman. It took me a while to get comfortable with this. But I also adore that he is a very good communicator as result. He tolerates living with four gals! The guy is surrounded 24/7!

Often, the signs are there; we just aren’t paying attention because we’re more focused on what we want him to be.

But as others here have said, it isn’t good or fair to hold over him other people’s misbehavior.

And, of course, there are never any absolutes in life, but if we don’t open our heart anyway to the possibilities, we’ll never know what we can have (and, oddly, I’m talking about infidelity myself this week, and standing by your man … or not).

Kat Wilder´s last blog post…It’s easy to stumble when you’re standing by your man

That’s a first. Then again, you often bring firsts to my blog… thanks.

I’m not sure about the “less or more likely” part… but I can say that my guy has also experienced being cheated on. So, as crazy as I feel when I share my fears with him, he DOES listen and seem to “get it.”

I’d love to hear from other women who are dating: do you think that being with a man who has also experienced infidelity make make him more empathetic?

Men, feel free to chime in here, too! Thanks.