I’m writing this post surrounded by American Doll accessories, stuffed animals, and sushi erasers.
Are any of your kids collectors like mine?
Yes, those are Littlest Pet Shop accessories to the left, and a rock/gem collection to the right. When I put a note out through my Twitter page to ask for some tips about purging, the consensus was clear:
You’d gladly bid farewell to most material items without any tantrums — minus your family photos, memorable baby clothes, precious books…. and your hard drives.
Somehow, though, for kids, every marker and Barbie accessory is precious. Whenever I put one of M’s things into the giveaway pile, she has protested: “But that’s special!”
Fortunately, you parents have come to the rescue, such as Successful Single Mom Honorée, who suggested that I wait until M is in school to clean all that clutter, so “that ’special stuff’ can find a new home without drama.”
John, father to three from Single Parent Travel – told me: “Here’s a secret—rent a storage locker and put it in there ‘temporarily.’ Sometimes we need to outsmart these little ones!”
But then he added: “M seems sharp, she will likely question why Rachel did not have the foresight to have insurance for these things!”
But here’s the upshot: last weekend, we had a yard sale.
M pouted for a good two hours, as I said good-bye to my 10-year-old stereo, two boxes of books, bookshelves, rugs…. and my bed frame (which had a big part in my book!).
Best of all? I earned more than $200! (Yes, M got a percentage and she plans to buy the new Jonas Brothers CD.)
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If you’re moving — or have recently moved — The Sanity Fairy has some amazing advice to make a stress-free transition to your new home HERE.
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
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I’ve moved 4 times – 4 interstate times – with my kids. Get rid of what you can but keep a thing or two for yourself of M’s. I have no baby clothes of my son’s and I wish I had one or two — just to remember, especially now that he’s 17, 5′10″ with a size 13 shoe. I did keep two little onesies of my daughters and I just keep them in a drawer with my clothes, so I see them occasionally. They take up little space there but have a big space in my heart.
Getting your child in on the purging is great! Garage sale and $$ are a great incentive to elimate. Another idea is to remind them to give to those who have less, with the idea of give 3 items away. We are all motivated by something different. Hugs and happy organizing!
I have JUST finished my move, out of the house I lived in with the ex for 7yrs. I tried to instill my anti-pack-rack mentality and need for a clean, fresh, uncluttered start on my 7 yr old. I’m so glad I gave in on his request to not have to decide what to throw out until after we moved. He and his friends have been playing with the Little People zoo non-stop (yes, they’re 7!)…had I taken it to GoodWill, I never would have seen his little nostalgic trip down memory lane with his toys and his friends. I think maybe it is helping him to transition, bringing old memories with him, and having had some say in what those memories were he wanted to pack up and move, no matter how cluttered I thought it was going to make his new room. Good luck to you, things will settle down for you and M soon, and you will have the much more pleasurable task of building and feathering your new nest and starting to fill it with new memories! Enjoy!
I’m now facing my fourth move in 14 years. With each one I have “purged” but with four kids you would not believe the amount of stuff that keeps multiplying. I just had my yard sale a few weeks ago and will be doing it again with my whole community in a few more weeks. I do think the kids are more willing to part with stuff when they think they can make some money. Moving is never fun but it’s great when it’s all over.
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I HATE moving! I’m wishing you luck with this move. Just keep remembering how great it is going to feel when all of your things are in their right place in your new home! Good luck!
Erin´s last blog post…When the blog meets real life
Quick tip! I use this on both my daughter and my stepson…it works wonders! Before some major present-receiving type holiday (ie birthdays or Christmas) I have a “purge” session with them. They are much more willing to give up some of their toys and prioritize what matters, if they know they need to make room for the new stuff!
My stepson is so disorganized that periodically his Dad will go into the toy closet in his room and get rid of broken or seldom used toys and rearranges things. We always answer his inquiries about where things are by stating clearly that if the room is kept semi-orderly, we wouldn’t have to start getting rid of some things. But we always are very careful to not get rid of anything the kids actually care about! No favorites get tossed.
B and I make an adventure of packing up the toys and donating them-she loves doing that and I’m betting that M would. It helps if you can put a “face” to the charity you donate to. Good luck with the move!!!
Shannon: That’s a great idea to purge before any major holidays!
Erin: Exactly, I’m imagining a clean living room, deep breath.
Single Parent Plus: I hear you about the vacuum and little toys… ooops.
I like purging my own items and keeping the house “clear”, but I’m pretty lenient with my kids’ stuff. We’re not moving, and we have a lot of space, so I figure if it gives them a sense of security to keep their things, why not? I do think they appreciate it–their dad has moved a lot and one of his houses even burned down (with all their things in it) a few years ago.
So we still have almost all the toys they ever received. Yes, their rooms are messy, but the rest of the house isn’t–so I guess I can deal. All too soon I know they’ll grow up and leave all that behind.
What does drive me crazy, though, is that my kids are even sentimental about old furniture and stuff like that! For example, I got a new digital TV a couple years ago, but they still don’t want me to sell the old one (even though nobody watches it). And when I changed the light fixture over the table they were very upset. Kids don’t like change, I guess.
MC: I also find that I’ve become lenient when it comes to M’s room. Having all of her special things really does make her feel secure — and she’s getting much better at keeping them in her room, so at least the rest of our home doesn’t look so cluttered…
I’m laughing re: your kids being sentimental about furniture. It’s the same over here!
Current dilemma: I really want to give away our fish tank. We’ve had this tank since moving here from NYC years ago, so M considers the fish her first pets.
But the tank is SO much work to clean! Every time I bring up the fish-going-to-a-good-home, M melts down. “Mommy, I will clean the tank!” Hmmm.
We’re keeping the fish… for now.
My girls love the tiniest toys imaginable and my vacuum doesn’t.
I exposed them to the wonderful world of giving recently. We take the toys at the bottom of the toy box and give them to the goodwill. On our last discovery I noticed that half the box was filled with “happy meal” toys. What a wakeup call for Dad!
I bought a cookbook and some new cookware – Chef Boyardee is jealous. I actually cook now
I love the rock collection though, nice Post!
I am a purger and try to instill that into my daughter…I remember M’s age with “purses” and boxes filled with everything from rocks to mini-erasers to diaries.
I started to remove stuff from her room without her knowing and hid it away in the garage. If six months went by and she had not asked for/wondered about anything in that box then it went to goodwill without her knowing.
I have 2 boxes I keep of her stuff from the outfit she came home in from the hospital, her first birthday dress to a folder for each school year filled with our favorite things. (OK primary school was more than a folder ’cause the stuff was bigger)
I am also a scrapbooker so she has one I maintain for each school year including awards, papers, photos and I write her a resume at the end of each school year.
Best of luck
Judy: I thought of you when I wrote this post because you’ve given me some great clutter-free advice in the past.
Wow, what a great idea to write a resume for your daughter at the end of the year! Would you send me a sample? I’d love to see this!
In the meantime, back to the “purses” and boxes filled with everything from rocks to mini-erasers to diaries. So true!
You both will feel so much lighter in the new place. THEN she’ll want to start collecting new stuff!
We go through a toy purge every 6 months or so. We create a “some little boy or girl will love this” pile and donate a lot of stuff to charity.
Hang in there!!
T´s last blog post…Ineffable
My hubby was in the military so we moved every 3 yrs. I always de-cluttered and donated a lot of stuff to good will. When it’s out of sight, they get used to not having it, and move on.
Good luck with the move!
My ex is going to move soon and she’s selling things to make moving easier and to make money. One afternoon during our exchange my daughter said “mommy, are you going to sell us?” She’s told them she’ll sell their toys and give them a percentage. I said I’ll give them all of the money if they want to sell their stuff. Different priorities I guess.
I am very much hoping to avoid moving this summer but I might have to in order to keep them in their school district. Then I’ll have to purge.
I never had those issues with my boys. I’ve always rotated the new toys with old ones as they out grew them. Of course, my two boys don’t collect anything but the latest video games.
Eathan´s last blog post…First Impressions
I’ve done about 4 international moves with my two girls, and they are only ages 3 and 2! We are headed to the UAE in August. I’m lucky b/c they are still too young to notice when I give stuff away. I have a rule–one box per person. I have one box from my past and they each get one box from theirs. As they (and I grow), if we want to keep old things, something must come out to make room in the box. My box has old journals, toys from when I was little, and an item or two of clothing from special occasions.
As for toys, less is more. We have an “open” bookshelf from Ikea with space for 9 bins. Books, dolls, blocks, and games all need to fit. Anything other than the 9 bins gets tossed. (Bikes, outdoor equipment, etc. not included).
Good luck!
expatsinglemama´s last blog post…Unfurnished means no stove?
I can relate. My girls like to collect rocks and they have all these little things with no purpose. Anyway, we are going to be moving soon and some of that stuff will be given away.
Thanks for the advice.
With my girls, I often put things “away” (without their knowledge) and wait for them to ask for them. If a few weeks go by and they haven’t made a peep about it, then I know it’s good to have the items disappear permanently.
MommaSunshine´s last blog post…The Ache
I am there with you. I pulled out a bunch of Wiggles and Elmo movies (because my 4 yr old doesn’t need a movie about learning his shapes anymore). He protested and to prove a point he decided to watch a DVD the other day – Elmo learns his Shapes and Colors. Know what is disappearing this weekend while he is at dad’s? All those DVDs. I told him we aren’t bringing everything to the new house. He did notice one thing was missing and I told him a little boy who doesn’t have it needed it and that was the end of the conversation. I think unless he plays with it all the time – if it disappears while they are gone your good to go. You want to start off clutter free in your new place!
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