When I first met Cynthia Gentry at one of my book readings in San Francisco, I wanted to know her secret.
Not only is Cindi (below) incredibly gorgeous, she’s also a very talented writer. Oh, and by the way, she’s also married to a hot guy who’s 10 years younger than her — and they have an adorable three-year-old son.
Cosmo often calls on Cindi for sex advice, including the current May 2009 issue on “What Guys Know About Sex That You Don’t.” After all, she did write Mind-Blowing Orgasms Every Day and co-authored What Men Really Want in Bed (with her husband!) Nima Badiey.
Cindi also blogs at The Mind Reels about “movies, sex, motherhood, and, yes, infertility. Not necessarily in that order.”
You should also know that last year, Cindi set me up with a local blogger, who shall remain anonymous here.
Well, at least she tried to set me up.
You see, Cindi “virtually” introduced me to a local, cute blogger who’s also “half-Jewish.” By email, she sent a virtual “Rachel, please meet ____.” He had I then exchanged a flurry of flirtatious, smart emails – and he “virtually” vanished before I ever met him in person.
It might have been another case of Rachel-is-too-assertive? Maybe I tried too hard. Indeed, I let him know more than once when I’d be in his ‘hood, and maybe he’d like to meet? He never said “yes.”
Cindi, maybe you’ll tell me: where had I go wrong?… For the record, you did send him the URL to my blog, and I wonder if he got scared off?
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So, who wants to learn some secrets?
This week at Singlemommyhood, Cindi’s new book is just one of three books you can win!
Fifteen of you will win one of the following books:
Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons, and Sexy Surprises, by Cynthia W. Gentry and Roxanne Colville (Illustrated with gorgeous full-color erotic photography!)
Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date, by Rachel Greenwald
Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future, by Michelle R. Callahan, Ph.D
Go ahead and enter the contest here.
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And if you haven’t yet entered our bra contest to win a $50 Macy’s gift certificate, you can still go for it here.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Guess what Rachel, you didn’t do anything ‘wrong’ with this guy Cindy tried to set you up with . . . he just simply wasn’t the right guy for you. Your man will accept you for who you are – aggressive or passive or anywhere in between.
What we women need to do is quit making excuses for men and making ourselves believe our failures in love are somehow our fault when we actually open up and be ourselves!
Now this isn’t a blanket grant to just do whatever whenever and expect to land the man of our dreams, but it’s a reinforcement of the idea we should be able to be ourselves and expect the ‘right’ man to fall in love with us as we are naturally. Anyone who doesn’t isn’t worth the time!
Rachel, you’re an amazing woman and you deserve a man who respects you for your success and strength and anyone not up for that can go ahead and fade into the distance. The way I see it, this guy did you a favor.
But mad props to Cindy for her effort to set you up. She obviously saw something great in this guy or she wouldn’t have made the connection with you. It’s too bad, but Mr. Right is around the corner and no use wasting time with Mr. Wrong.
BlueBella´s last blog post…Finally
How relevant….I just met a guy and want to do it ‘right’ We met at a bar..he has been calling..we have had 2 other let’s meet for a drink but on Sat a real movie date..YIKES..I went clothes shopping today and found nothing and as attractive as I am to him have to be the keeper of the NO….even a bigger YIKES
I won’t comment on seduction, but even that’s based on individuals and is not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.
As for attracting and keeping someone, BlueBella hits it pretty much on the head. Everyone has their own type of person they work well with. You need a man who can deal with all the things that make up you. And of course, you need to be able to deal with the things that make him tick.
Well, it’s the infamous Cindi, and I can assure you, Rachel, that you did *nothing* wrong.
My friend is quite simply a moron (and I saw that with love). I thought that you two might become friends if nothing else because you’re both prolific bloggers. But I didn’t bank on him being so lame!
Yes, I did send him the link to your blog; by the same token, you saw the link to his–and given the subject matter of his blog, he has much more reason to be self-conscious than you do! Be that as it may, you were talking about meeting up for a drink, not an arranged marriage. Sheesh.
All I can say is his loss…and that it means that the universe has something better in store for you. Meanwhile, let’s hoping that my friend get over his (many) issues.
But let’s forget about him. What secret was it that you wanted to know!
Cynthia Gentry´s last blog post…PacBell DSL Hell
Thanks Cindi!!
So, here’s the “secret” I’d love to know, which Ruth puts oh-so-well on http://www.singlemommyhood.com today:
“I’m with a really great guy and the sex is amazing — and I want it to stay that way… what’s the secret?”
Thanks!
I very much agree with what BlueBella said, and I never, ever agonize over why a guy didn’t call or why a potential relationship didn’t work. Never, ever feel insecure or doubt yourself and your worthiness! If it doesn’t pan out, it simply wasn’t meant to be…and move on. There’s no time for “what ifs.” He’s freeing you up for the next guy—who just may be the one.
Remember, men are like buses…;-)
I agree with all the above. So how is Mr. Lucky btw?
MindyMom´s last blog post…Dark Days, Mediation & Wine
I’m not Cindy but I answered your question with what I seem to have found to be the case over at singlemommyhood.
Kari´s last blog post…Family time, work, school… LIFE
Oh, I’m sure you didn’t do anything “wrong”!
I’ve dated a fair amount and one thing I know is true: sometimes another person just doesn’t float your boat. You may not even be able to put your finger on why not! But if so, it’s more honest not to lead the other person on.
It’s certainly true for me, why shouldn’t it be true for men, too? So don’t take it personally, and keep on circulating until you find someone where both of you are clicking with each other.
Well, the secret is to know that the sex WON’T always be amazing, so just let go of that expectation.
It’s natural that after the first 3 months or so, that first romantic sexual rush will resolve into something deeper. There’s actually a biological reason why this is, but it escapes me at the moment.
What’s more, stress, kids, life can all conspire to dampen your libido (as can too-high expectations and resentment, two of the Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse). The key is to make sex a priority. It’s too easy to get into a habit of putting the kids to bed and then ensconcing yourselves on the couch with your laptops, and then suddenly–look! It’s midnight and you’re both exhausted. Believe me, I know that of which I speak.
So you gotta continue to make sex a priority–not that you’re going to have it every day, but you just want to keep having it–and if you don’t feel like it all the time, you might have to do it anyway.
Does that help at all?
Cynthia Gentry´s last blog post…Win a copy of Secret Seductions…
Thanks to everyone for pointing out that it’s time for me to stop playing the self-blame game (jeesh, Rachel!).
You really keep my head high, thanks.
Kari: Love your comment at Singlemommyhood. It all does boil down to communication, doesn’t it?
Cindi: your advice helps A LOT!
The truth is, I’m the one who’s usually on my laptop until midnight. Lucky Guy is often tucked in by 11, waiting patiently for me… ooh, that’s bad.
By the way, I just gave him the head’s up about your post today.
He says: “Gee, now I have two great nicknames I can go by: LG or AG (for ‘adorable gem.’)”
I think he likes it…
Great, I’m glad.
To illustrate my point, sort of…I just received a Google Calendar appointment from my husband for “Erotic massage and cuddling.” I don’t know what’s funnier, that it’s come to scheduling time for romance on Google OR that he only scheduled 15 minutes for it!
Cynthia Gentry´s last blog post…Win a copy of Secret Seductions…
That IS hilarious Cindi!
I’d love to hear from the rest of you: have any of you ever scheduled for “seduction” time?
Do tell….
Scheduling seduction time is not only hilarious, it’s an instant “tingle” and giggle of anticipation! How sexay!
This reminds me of sexting . . and how delicious little love notes can be leading up to the big moment later on when kids are in bed and the mood is made!
Oh you girls are making me jealous!!!
BlueBella´s last blog post…The Deep End
Why do we always assume it’s us? The woman that did something or didn’t do something? I actually read somewhere that all we have to do is show up and look pretty. If it were only that simple.
Jane´s last blog post…That woman and her damn cat stories
Jane: “I actually read somewhere that all we have to do is show up and look pretty.”
Oooh, I’d love to know where you read that. Seriously?
Too bad about the local blogger. Cindi is really hot…how can I meet her??
Why Lance, I’m flattered. An old lady needs to hear something like that every once in a while. Thank you. P.S. I’ve always imagined having a poolboy named “Lance.” Or “Chad.”
Cynthia Gentry´s last blog post…Reading at Bookshop West Portal
Clearly, Lance makes the better pool boy name
Lance´s last blog post…Tax Returns: Complete and Total Satisfaction