First, I can’t take credit for this blog title. I took it straight from Kat Wilder’s hilarious and brilliant post, “To dream, perchance to have quiet.”
In that post, Kat recounted a man whom she dated a while back — and the first time they’d slept together. She remembered being “curled up against Van’s tight, tanned body, letting his rhythmic, increasingly heavy breathing lull me to sleep….
Until the fateful event every woman dreads.
“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz … snort … SNORT.”
Have you been there?
Excuse me for sounding so shallow, but snoring is a deal breaker for me. I’m willing to bend on many things, but sleep is not one of them. Sorry.
In fact, a recent article on sleep deprivation lists some eye-opening side effects:
“Every night without adequate rest is like adding to a sleep debt—eventually it will have to be repaid. Even after one sleepless night, we can feel the first effects of sleep deprivation—irritability, memory loss, and drowsiness….
Sleep deprivation doesn’t just cause mental deficits; our physical abilities are diminished too. Studies have demonstrated that not sleeping can reduce glucose metabolism by as much as 40 percent. We use stored glucose for energy and sleep deprivation can interfere with how the body stores and processes it.”
~~~
Fortunately, the new guy – who really needs a real name here, doesn’t he? — will not be known as “The Snorer”!
Yes, we’ve gone far enough (blush) for me to discover…. that he’s not a snorer. Whew. However, here’s the truth: he has let out a few snorts, but pushing him onto his side (gently) has fixed that just fine, thank you.
Come clean: Have you ever dated a snorer? Are you dating a snorer? How do you deal?
Guys, you’re game for this one, too. Snoring is not biased towards men. Have you ever been with a woman-snorer?
Speaking of sleep issues, we’ve got another one to tackle today at Singlemommyhood.
We’d love to know: Are you sleeping on “their” sheets?
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Read the book! Single Mom Seeking is a tell-all about how to date and remain a dedicated and involved parent. It’s a spunky, sexy, and moving chronicle of the humor, pitfalls, and rewards of balancing it all — single-mom style. |
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I need my sleep, so I tend to side with Rachel on the snoring dilemma. No personal experience to share, either.
This conversation left me open, however, on whether or not snoring is a deal breaker.
An older married woman told me this many years ago. I’ve never forgotten the “look of love” in her eyes. She told me laughingly that her husband was a “major snorer”. I asked her if his snoring disturbed her rest. She told me rather pointedly that her beloved’s snoring was her rest. When she heard him snoring, she knew he was close by, healthy, and sleeping blissfully. And that made everything “right” in her world.
True love forever is really a beautiful thing.
How timely. Last weekend I took my kids to a dude ranch and we all bunked in one big suite type room (ok so it wasn’t really roughing it)and my 14 year old gives me the “OMG you freaking snore” routine.
Of course I deny it. My son denies it, and my youngest denies it. Was it imagined? She claims to have it recorded and threatens to put it up on YouTube, but so far I have seen no evidence–but she may be able to be bought off. So I am sticking to the story–I don’t snore.
I didn’t read the link on sleeping on his sheets, but my guess is most guys, when left to their own devices will use sheets a MINIMUM of one month before CONSIDERING washing them. Me, I am more of a quarterly guy–unless I have company!
John F´s last blog post…A Rocking Round Up
I don’t mind snoring, since most men will stop if you elbow them and make them turn over.
My ex had a worse problem–a periodic limb twitching disorder–he’d actually kick me in his sleep! I can’t believe I put up with it for so long.
Now, my biggest peeve is if I’m sharing a bed with a man who sprawls out as he pleases and expects me to try to find a place to fit in around him. I end up fuming, trying to sleep on the very edge of the bed, unable to sleep sprawled out myself as I’d like. If I ever get married again, a king-sized bed is going to be essential!
I CANNOT handle a snorer. It was one of the reasons for the demise of my last relationship. There was no stopping it and I was lseeping on the couch…in my own house…just so I could get some shut eye. Another thing to add to my list of “don’t” for any new man that comes my way.
goin-crazy´s last blog post…The Post about Nothing and Everything
My ex-husband was a horrible snorer. It got to the point that the voices of the people in my dreams sounded like his snoring! We eventually resorted to sleeping in seperate rooms and ultimately got divorced. (although not due to his snoring) I do not miss that at all.
MindyMom´s last blog post…Mothers, Fathers & Our Kid’s Self-Esteem
Funny… I pulled from one of Kat’s posts in my blog post today too.
The ex snored when he slept on his back. A simple nudge would make him turn over. What irritated me the most wasn’t the snoring. It was that he would fall asleep instantly while I would lay there and think and process my day for a good hour before falling asleep!
I fall asleep much easier now. Maybe it’s because I don’t turn on the news before bed like he used to. All of that bad news would really make it difficult to relax and sleep.
Glad your man’s not a snorer. He’s getting more perfect every day!
A name for him? How about “Charmer”. Just from what I’ve heard…
T´s last blog post…Romeo save me
I guess we won’t be sleeping together!!
I’m a snorer. BUT, i have yet to be dumped because of it…
breathe right strips. before that, i just kicked him in his sleep
I’ve dated from snorer women and it’s not a deal breaker for me. I usually just push or nudge them.
Lance´s last blog post…Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!
The BF snores when he sleeps on his back, but I don’t usually have to even make him roll over – a light touch usually makes him stop, for whatever reason.
However, on the nights that he takes Ambien, he snores HORRIBLY, and nothing will make him stop. It is ironic that the very thing that finally gets him a good night sleep is the exact and ONLY thing that prevents me from getting it (I am a very sound sleeper).
He has delayed sleep phase syndrome, a type of circadian rhythm disorder that is NOT insomnia (though often misdiagnosed). If you have trouble falling asleep at a normal time, you should look it up. I was the one who found information on this and his doctor later concurred – it was a HUGE weight off his mind to know exactly what his problem was.
Honey´s last blog post…Spring Chicken: Birthday Celebrations!
Looks like his name is
“Not-the-snorer”
This should not be a deal breaker as there are solutions/fixes.
The nudge as mentioned many times, you could wear ear plugs, I believe a mouth guards help snoring. Ask a dentist or ENT.
I find snoring comforting..here’s her and close by…I wish anyways
My dog snores if she doesn’t have a prop for her head (like a dogbed, a pillow, or my ankle). My boyfriend puts up with the dog snoring even if I keep telling him that we just need to get a dogbed for his house. She doesn’t seem to snore at home.
Sleep is critical. There are many reasons why two people (with or w/out pets) might not get a good night’s sleep, and no I’m not referring to sex but the not-fun ways. Working those out is important, like my boyfriend getting curtains for his windows so the light in the morning doesn’t wake me up (making me grouchy by bedtime).
Too much else in a relationship that I’d find more important to deal break over, but that’s me.
Robin: Your dog snores and the boyfriend puts up with it? Hilarious!! I hope you’ve blogged about this one… whoa.
Hi all: I just realized that the Singlemommyhood link was bad. Here’s the right one:
http://www.singlemommyhood.com/2009/04/are-you-sleeping-on-their-sheets/
I dated a cute girl once who snored AND had gas while she slept. Now, i know EVERYBODY has gas. And yes, we’d been intimate, but we didnt know each other THAT well for her to pass a few gassers while we were spooning. That was a deal breaker for me, though I gave her another reason for the breakup.
Kevin´s last blog post…Tempo run heating up
my husband snores sometimes. all i have to do is punch him and he stops. and, from what i understand…sometimes, when the conditions are right…
i snore too.
shhh…
don’t tell anyone.
I’ve dated a few light snoring women. I love my sleep and a heavy snoring woman would be a problem. Just remember they only snore on their back.
Mike´s last blog post…Now That’s a First
I am a terrible snore’r. It’s so embarrassing. I can’t breath through my nose so I have to breath through my mouth which causes me to snore. I think I’ve woke the neighbors up a few times.
Queen Lindsay´s last blog post…Men’s Top Ten Turn-Offs
YES My ex used to “suck the paint off the walls” by his snoring. Many times I would make him stay awake until I was asleep… his snoring would normally wake me up but at least I could get some sleep in, before I would wake up from it…No problems with that anymore… of course I currently sleep alone
Single Mom In Debt´s last blog post…Supplement Your Income
I snore. Sometimes Sadie wakes me to tell me so.
My ex husband snored – but even still I think I may have been worse than him. Everyone has a thing they can’t stand. It isn’t snoring for me – it is men with dainty hands. And I absolutely cannot compromise that.
Amy´s last blog post…Journal 126: March 2009 A Long Day
I don’t snore. In fact, my ex-wife used to say that I’m so silent when I sleep she used to wonder if I was dead. If I do the online thing again, do you think I should include this fact in my profile writeup???
My ex girlfriend snored so loud that after a minute or two she would wake herself up, then be quiet for a few hours, then start the cycle again. It was kind of funny.
I’m blushing here … thanks for the link.
So, you know, I’m still with the sports talk radio at night guy (that would be Sean), and I’ll say this — it’s better than the boyfriend who had to have MTV on all night long (in its first few years, when it was a novelty — am I dating myself?!?) because I actually wanted to watch those videos! I have learned to fall asleep to the sound of baseball-basketball-football chatter, proving, yet again, that we gals will do just about anything for love. Ya know?
Kat Wilder´s last blog post…There’s a reason why it’s called a crush
Although I haven’t been with someone who snored ALL the time or very loud. He did snore. I’d make him roll over and tell him he was snoring that stopped it long enough for me to get to sleep and it didn’t bug me enough to wake me then……
Actually…….
To be honest with you Ive been told I occasionally snore… Thankfully not every night but I am sure I’ll get there. Both my parents snore -loud too. I also sometimes grind my teeth.
I also sprawl across my bed too. Oh and I steal the covers in my sleep and then kick them off.
HAHA I am starting to see why I am still single!
My husband’s more a teeth grinder than a snorer. Glad your guy isn’t keeping you up at night.
Dating Advice (Almost) Daily´s last blog post…Why He Didn’t Call You Back
I am with you one this one! It is a deal breaker for me to. I was married to a snorer – which I faithfully plugged my ears every nights for the past 8 years. And I vowed that I am not doing that ever again!
Wow…a deal breaker? Seriously? I’m sorry…but that seems awful shallow to me.
What is the poor guy supposed to do? Is it his fault that he snores? Have you discussed taking steps to “fix” the snoring?
I’ve been known to snore if on my back…but I’ve certainly never been dumped because of it.
I’m really shocked at the numerous “deal breaker” comments here. Seriously shocked.
Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post…Planes, more planes, & an automobile
I think most people have occasional issues with snoring. Drinking too much, allergies, whatever. Exercise helps, so does limiting alcohol. I also think light sleepers or people who are stressed out for other reasons get more upset about snoring. My ex used snoring as an excuse to sleep in another room when she was more than likely already halfway out the door. Waking up alone every night is absolutely not cool snoring or not.
SDMktg´s last blog post…Cadbury Creme Egg Martini
Yes. My wife’s snoring would wake the dead. But I imagine mine was bad too. Solution was much the same for both of us. I’d push her and she’d roll over and stop. If I snore I’ll be sleeping on my back, which is not my normal position. So if it happens a push or poke to make me roll to my side will end it.
You are correct that constant snoring is terrible, because the lack of sleep really pulls you down. It wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me though. If the woman was the right person for me, then I’d find a way to deal with what I’d see as a minor issue. If it was a constant thing I guess separate rooms to actually sleep in might be one solution.