Censoring my blog

by singlemomseeking on March 14, 2009

door-locked

One day I knew it would come to this.

My daughter doesn’t want me to blog about her anymore.

When I started this blog in 2006, little M was six years old, a first grader, a sweet pea pod with pig tails. She loved it when I posted photos of her. She begged me to make silly videos of her.

But no more. She’s OLD now. She can wear my sweatshirts. We trade accessories. Her social awareness blows me away: she loves to talk about friendships, politics…. and money. This weekend, she has offered to help me write a round-up of the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.

How do other bloggers deal with writing about their kids as they get older? (Here is when I see the benefit of blogging anonymously!)

The first woman who comes to mind is probably the most popular mom-blogger out there: Dooce. Will there be a day when her daughter, Leta, protests about all the cute anecdotes and photos online?

Heather Armstrong, however, is expecting another baby, so she’ll have plenty of new material, right? (And, no, Heather, I didn’t mean to imply that you’re having No. 2 just so you can have something to blog about!)

Whenever I want to post a photo of M nowadays, I always ask her first. Want to know what her first answer is 99 percent of the time?

“No.”

She is so self-aware now, and that can mean feeling self-conscious. It’s all new for me, as a parent, and I need to respect her decisions.

Sometimes, however, I do offer to pay her for permission to post a photo. (After all, this blog is covering her health insurance!)

“I’ll pay you five bucks,” I say.

“Twenty,” she says.

Me: “Twenty dollars for one photo?”

Her: “Fine, ten.”

I’m not the only blogger out there who is struggling with this, right? A while ago, a dad blogger named  Allan Rousselle asked:

“I have devoted an entire section of my website to each of my three sons… but what happens as they get older, and assume more responsibility for their own image?”

Emily Bazelon is a Slate senior editor, also wrote about her 8-year-old son, Eli, when he tried to Google himself:

“We’d been looking up facts, and he liked the idea of finding himself out there in the ether. When nothing about him came up, he was disappointed. I was relieved. I don’t hide the pieces I write from him, but I don’t really want him to think of himself as a Google hit magnet, either.”

Other bloggers have shut down their blogs to protect their kids’ privacy.

I can’t imagine shutting down. This is my where I speak my mind, laugh, cry into my sleeve — and just as importantly, listen to you.

But I need to make a shift. The door to my heart is not locked, but I’m shutting it half-way when it comes to my child.

Not blogging about my kid will be a challenge. I’m sure that I’ll slip.

That’s why I’d love to know:

For those of you who blog, do you censor what you say about your kids?

Do you think their ages makes a difference when it comes to how much you reveal?

Do you ever fear that your kids will read your blog someday?

And to those who don’t blog — but read or lurk here — what if I stop blogging about my kid? Will you miss that part?

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{ 3 trackbacks }

Privacy | Single Mom Seeking
September 7, 2009 at 3:02 am
Exploiting your kids? | Single Mom Seeking
October 21, 2009 at 7:57 am
When you stop writing about your kid | Single Mom Seeking
February 23, 2010 at 6:11 pm

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