I met someone

by singlemomseeking on March 25, 2009


So, I’ve been hiding something — or, should I say “someone”? — from all of you, and I can’t stand it anymore.

I’m afraid that publishing this post might jinx what’s happening. Silly, I know. Here’s the story of how we almost met — and then finally did, for real:

In early 2007, a lovely, witty writer-friend named Ronnie Chater offered to set me up with a friend of hers.

She told me what a catch this guy was: smart, very funny, a scientist, a home-owner, well-read.

She went on and on about the fact that he was close to his family and loved by his friends. He was 44 years old, she said, and two years out of a long-term relationship. He didn’t have any children, but he loved kids.

Of course, I wanted to know: “Then why the heck is he still single?”

“No one can figure that out!” she shot back. “I don’t think he knows what he’s looking for.”

That last line sealed the deal. “No, thank you.”

I was in no frame of mind to date. I was still healing from my last break up. I was still unpacking my utensils in my new apartment.

That was that. Or, so I thought.

Jump ahead two years and I was recently in San Francisco for Ronnie’s book launch party. (Please, please buy her book, Waiting for the Apocalypse: A Memoir of Faith and Family, here!)

It was a packed event, but I noticed him making the rounds around the room. Actually, what I really noticed was what a big flirt he was (but then, so am I, right?)

He said “hi” to everyone with a hug and a smile. Eventually he stopped to talk to another writer-friend and me. I was having a hard time hearing above the loud music, and he seemed to be flirting with my friend.

Maybe not? Because she turned and whispered in my ear, “He was checking you out–”

He was? Before I knew it, the party was moving to a hotel bar down the street. That’s when I asked him what his name was.

Wait, was he the guy my friend had mentioned two years ago, “The ____?”

Sure enough, when I looked around, Ronnie was giving me that “look” that said, “It’s him!”

I took in all the details that night: his blue eyes, his wavy salt-and-pepper hair (okay, more pepper than salt), and his contagious laugh.

The more I talked to him, however, I noticed a geeky side. Yes, he’s a scientist, and one of those guys who loves data and figuring out how things work (which I find very sexy).

Then, it was past midnight. The rest of the party had gone home.

He’d missed BART, but told me that he’d crash at a friend’s. I said that I’d catch a cab back to my Dad’s.

Before we left the bar, however, he made a big faux pas.

Can you guess what he did?

Clue: He DID ask for my phone number. (He actually asked for my number about half an hour into our conversation –  and he called me later to make sure that I got home safely.)

For the record, I emailed him that I might write something on my blog, and he begged me to mention his tight abs. (Hence the statue from Panathinaiko Stadium.) He signed it, “Mr. about-to-be-in-the-public-eye”

So, what did he do at the end of the evening?

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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Hanie March 25, 2009 at 5:37 pm

I am happy for you! I know how exciting but nerve wrecking this is at the same time. It took me a while to figure out whether I should make my own announcement on blog and FB, but heck! 😉 Good for you!

Hanie´s last blog post…What’s Hot, What’s Not Part 1


SDMktg March 25, 2009 at 5:35 pm

I have no guess. I am happy for you though. It sounds like you are off to a good start.


singlemomseeking March 25, 2009 at 5:19 pm

Okay, okay….fine.

“Won” was right on the money. She said:

“My gut said he went in for a kiss…the kind of kiss that people who know one another better share.”

All of you might think I’m very liberal and such, but I’ve never had a man just dive in and kiss me on the lips — two hours after meeting me!!

He DID ask first. But then, as I like to remind him, before waiting for a real answer, he dive-bombed me!

It could have been a mistake… fortunately, his boldness proved to be a good thing.


Legal Editor Mom March 25, 2009 at 5:01 pm

Will you spill it already? I love suspense but this is just cruel!


singlemomseeking March 25, 2009 at 4:51 pm

LEM: Really, I was only giving you hard time, teasingly…. but it didn’t come through. Sometimes, tone doesn’t resonate on this dang blog!

Podcast, anyone?

Mary: Who knows what would have happened if you’d come with me that night? Hmmm.


Legal Editor Mom March 25, 2009 at 4:11 pm

Rachel my intent was not to give you a hard time, and I don’t believe my tone reflects that I was. I was merely posing a question that seemed to escape everyone else, despite the fact that this same topic has come up before. (To blog or not to blog about a guy you’re dating.) It’s your blog and you can write about anything you wish…it just seems that with a new guy you’d be hesistant, for a number of reasons.

As far as your in-the-flesh remark, you’re grown. You also know that with actions come consequences. But I was not going there at all. So yes, you answered my question, which again, was all it was, at the same time, you totally “misread” me on this one…


singlemomseeking March 25, 2009 at 4:10 pm

Ronnie just emailed me to point out that it wasn’t actually “a mistake” (although it could have been!).

She suggested that I should call it a “coup d’etat” or “fait accompli.”

Do you see what a great writer that Ronnie is?

Anyway, he did NOT ask if I wanted to spend the night with him (although I might have, tee hee).


GLSD March 25, 2009 at 4:02 pm

He asked if you would spend the night with him? and planted a kiss? I’m so happy for you! Can’t wait to read more! XO


klee March 25, 2009 at 3:16 pm


Ok Rachel, what is it about these guys that you always want you to post something physically appealing about them.

Makes you think that they have an insecure side or are lacking something? I don’t know….just something I noticed! Anyway, don’t keep us hanging. I speak for myself, but I am vicariously living through this hotty’s blog!



Mary Pols March 25, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Rachel!!! great news. God, I remember that night. I was going to come but I was getting sick and had to go to that vibrator play in Berkeley (your night sounds like way more fun). Fingers crossed for you my dear.


Janet March 25, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I’m guessing he asked if he could kiss you. Or he tried to kiss you when you weren’t prepared or expecting it or something.

BTW…How exciting!! 🙂


singlemomseeking March 25, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Oh, LEM: I was waiting for you to give me a hard time! What took you so long?

For the record, I said nothing to him about my website, book, etc… I wouldn’t even give him my last name. I didn’t want him to Google me.

But the friend who’d originally tried to set us up DID give him this info after the party. (And believe me, I gave her a very hard time. “Why did you tell him all of that, Ronnie??”).

I’ve asked him NOT to read my blog, and he has respected this. I’ve told him that I’d like him to know the in-the-flesh me first. (Don’t start in with me about that, okay?)

He did read one entry last week, but he’d asked for my permission first.

Re: “Why not give a relationship a chance before spilling your guts and allowing him the opportunity to read everything you write about him?”….

Here’s my reply: If the tables were turned (and a man was blogging something personal about me), I would really appreciate a head’s up.

Intention and honesty are big in my book. I think you know that.

Does that answer your question?


Legal Editor Mom March 25, 2009 at 11:49 am

Ok, another scientist? ;-)I’m not going to try to guess what he did because we all have varying opinions about what’s right and what’s wrong. It could be anything…

So congrats on meeting someone and I truly hope that it works out! But I just have to ask; why did you e-mail him something so soon that you might write on your blog?

And why did you tell him about your blog so early on? If he’s not happy about it, that ruins it for us! Just kidding. (And while he sounds like he has the right mindset about it, I still wonder why.) I’m all for honesty and I do think that you absolutely have to be with someone who knows what you do and is comfortable with it, BUT, have you ever heard of TMI? Why not give a relationship a chance before spilling your guts and allowing him the opportunity to read everything you write about him? Just wondering…


Love Coach Rinatta March 25, 2009 at 10:54 am

Rachel, well I guess this blog is not keeping you single! Good for you. More details on the relationship? And what did he do? Are you going to tell us today? How about now?

Love Coach Rinatta´s last blog post…How to Become Lucky in Love


andieeast March 25, 2009 at 10:13 am

He told you he wasn’t really interested in a relationship right now! (noo, he didn’t really. I think its’ the share a hotel room one.)


Bill March 25, 2009 at 10:09 am

Btw, congrats Rachel.


Bill March 25, 2009 at 9:58 am

I know, I know!! He asked if you were still lactating!!!

oh wait, that was another story. =)


Dido March 25, 2009 at 8:55 am

Then it must have been the ‘share the hotel room’ proposal!
You HAVE to tell us asap – no more torture! :-))

…but it all sounds very nice…. spontaneous and instant chemistry…. so unlike setting up – 2 yrs ago you would have felt awkward, and this time it was just right…
or so it seems….

now tell us!


singlemomseeking March 25, 2009 at 8:25 am

Hint: He paid the bar tab. In fact, he paid the bar tab for a whole group of people, I found out.

But that’s exactly how he got me to go upstairs with him: “Want to come with me to get my credit card?”….

Another clue: One of the women above got the answer right!


MindyMom March 25, 2009 at 7:37 am

Pass gas?? 😉 Just kiddin’. He sounds very nice but if he didn’t pay the bar tab, uh…

MindyMom´s last blog post…What Inspires You?


Katherine SOLOdotmom March 25, 2009 at 7:14 am


We are on the edge of our seat here….


susan March 25, 2009 at 6:56 am

My guess is that he did not pay the bar tab??


Amy Sue Nathan March 25, 2009 at 6:51 am

I have no clue, but I’m dying to find out. And obviously it was one of those GOOD faux pas!

Was this what prompted the ‘whatthehelldoIdowiththisblogifi’mnot single’ post?

Amy Sue Nathan´s last blog post…Can Twitter help single moms connect?


MC March 25, 2009 at 6:31 am

Wow, he sounds wonderful (& more importantly, you sound happy!) Good for you!

What was his faux pas? You said that he said he’d missed BART & you’s replied that you were going to crash at your Dad’s…so I’m guessing he suggested that you two share a hotel room instead!


Single Mom March 25, 2009 at 6:24 am

My guess is that he either tried to kiss you, touched you inappropriately or asked you to go home with him.

Single Mom´s last blog post…Supplement Your Income


won March 25, 2009 at 6:08 am

I am very happy for you.

My gut said he went in for a kiss…the kind of kiss that people who know one another better share. But then I realize that I likely respond that way as it is my thing…not necessarily yours.

But, it’s the only guess I’ve got.

won´s last blog post…The Most Vulnerable Post to Date-Part Two


John F March 25, 2009 at 5:59 am

Introduced you to his boyfriend? (sorry, could not resist)

John F´s last blog post…Colorado Gold Mines


Kari March 25, 2009 at 4:53 am

Awww I have the warm and fuzzies here. So much so I can’t even think of any faux pas that he may have made.

Kari´s last blog post…Overwhelmed!


Canadian Bald Guy March 25, 2009 at 3:23 am

Intriguing finish to the story. It’s a “big faux pas”. Hmmmm.

Did he ask for a kiss instead of just going in for one?

I’ve been out of the scene for so long that I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m VERY keen to find out the answer to this question.

Oh…and congrats on meeting someone. Good for you.

Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post…It makes you think


Crazy Computer Dad March 25, 2009 at 2:53 am

txted or took a phone call?


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