3 reasons you need a lock on your door

by singlemomseeking on March 20, 2009

When I told Dr. Leah that I’ve never had a lock on my bedroom door, she was NOT pleased.

I rent in an old home, and there was never a lock on my bedroom door. This priority fell to the bottom of my To Do list.

Yes, I took my door handle off and even bought a latch, but it has been in mid-repair for months now:

my-door2

my-door

Well, now that I’m dating again, it’s time to get this baby fixed. (Of course, I had to turn to Dr. Leah for some advice — boy, did she have a word with me!)

You can read Why you need a bedroom lock NOW here.

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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Canadian Bald Guy March 18, 2009 at 5:21 pm

I’ve been thinking about putting a lock on my door just in case I’m having (ahem) “alone time” and my kid walks in on that…much less if I ever have somebody over to stay the night.

Locks are imperative, I think.

Canadian Bald Guy´s last blog post…Twitter Tales: 03-18-09

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T March 18, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Yes, locks are VERY imperative.

Good for you Rachel! Go girl! Get your freak on now!! Woot!!

(Sorry, I got a little carried away there…)

:)

T´s last blog post…She’s got the look

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Legal Editor Mom March 18, 2009 at 6:22 pm

I don’t have a lock on my bedroom door and I don’t need one. My daughter is five and she understands that if my door is closed, she must knock before she enters. And I say NOT to come in, she can’t. I also don’t and won’t have a sleepover when she’s home, so I really don’t need one.

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My Mindless Thoughts March 18, 2009 at 7:07 pm

We just moved about a month ago guess I should get on that right away!

My Mindless Thoughts´s last blog post…Rambling Thoughts

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VJ March 18, 2009 at 7:11 pm

Yeah yeah. Locks are important. So is respect for boundaries & should have, would have, could a etc.

But what you’ve got there is a very old door knob system from the brief looks of it. Unfortunately. From the glimpse of it, it’s at or about 100 years old. Which means typically a real carpentry job if you’re wanting to do much to it. And it did have a lock on it once, (hence the key slot), this was just not in keeping with ‘modern times’ and was disabled at some point probably. So alterations using the same hardware may require some money, time & much luck.

So probably what you need if you’re in urgent need ‘suddenly’, is some stop gap measures. Your handy dandy doorstops, still available at most hardware stores will do fine, and can be easily kicked away in any emergency. A ‘slip lock’ (such as the ones you see in most commercial bathrooms) might also be added on the inside of the door with little difficulty. So some sort of a ‘latch system’ to hang off & from the room side of the door might be the quickest way of getting to where you want. Attaching these might take as little as 4 screws drilled into the door and/or door jamb, but of course will not be as secure as having the original locking hardware for your type of door handle. But doing the latter will be a bit more expensive, typically. Unless you can find a way to work with and repair what you’ve got. And that may well take some added time just to see what might work.

But again, what you’re playing with here is a bit of ancient history, 100 years or better probably. Good Luck & Cheers! ‘VJ’

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singlemomseeking March 18, 2009 at 10:45 pm

Wow, VJ, you certainly have some experience with locks, don’t you? You’re right: mine is ancient!

LEM: I completely respect you as a parent and a mother. You know that. You’ve also clearly done a great job at making boundaries (you go!!).

I’d love to know: what if, some day in the future, you’ve been dating a man for a long while (say, a year or so?)… and you decide to have him spend the night once in a while?

Just curious!

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Legal Editor Mom March 19, 2009 at 6:27 am

What’s funny is that after I posted my comment I went upstairs and checked my door, and I actually do have a lock built into the knob. I never knew because I’ve never used it.

I agree that it’s a good idea to have one if you think you’ll need one, but as you mentioned, I’ve raised my daughter to respect my wishes about not entering without knocking if my door is closed, and so far it hasn’t been a problem. (I realize this isn’t always the case with children, but for me it has worked.)

As for your question, I actually am seeing someone and he spent the night last night, but my daughter wasn’t home. When we want to be alone and she’s home, I get a babysitter. And while I’m not knocking other single parents’ choices, I will NOT entertain a male sleepover while my daughter is underage and living at home, regardless of how long I’ve been seeing someone. (We do have a guest room on another floor, but I’m sure you’re talking about a man sleeping in my room, in my bed.) For me it’s the respect factor for my daughter, and I simply won’t compromise on it for the sake of my personal needs. While she is young and impressionable, my needs are secondary. That’s just how I am.

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SingleParentDad March 19, 2009 at 6:52 am

No lock on mine, and I can’t see myself putting one on it. Maybe when my son is much older, I would be too concerned about locking myself in at the minute, or my son doing the same if he was playing.

SingleParentDad´s last blog post…Public Fallout

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Rosie Scribble March 19, 2009 at 6:55 am

Heck! As a fellow single-mum-seeking, maybe I should invest in a lock for my own door!

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won March 19, 2009 at 7:17 am

One of the first things I checked when I moved in to my new place a few days ago is if the bedroom door has a lock on it or not.

It does.

Seriously wouldn’t be without it.

won´s last blog post…All’s well that end well!

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John F March 19, 2009 at 7:56 am

Rachel, are you willing to put a lock on M’s door if she needs some “alone time” or “ahem wants to entertain”?

I thinks LEM is right on the money, you establish the boundaries and maintain them with mutual respect.

I think there is a lock on my door, but if it is closed, it is closed and deserving of a knock unless there are flames or blood. My kids know this and respect it. Also when their doors are close, I always knock first.

With my custody (50-50) I can count on one hand the number of times I have “entertained” when the kids have been there–and even then, they were well asleep and the entertainment was really only a “preview” for the entire show that would be premiering later that week after the kids went to their mom’s.

John F´s last blog post…Maui, Hawaii June 21-28, 2009

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NewSingleMama March 19, 2009 at 8:22 am

Hmm I’m still pregnant so I haven’t given this much thought. It’s a great idea though that I think I will try out. I hope to teach my son to respect privacy. I won’t come in his room without knocking an I will teach him not to come into mine.

NewSingleMama´s last blog post…Fighting the Mask of Pregnancy

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MindyMom March 19, 2009 at 8:37 am

Glad you are putting a lock on your door! Better safe than sorry, I say.

MindyMom´s last blog post…Family Dinner

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Terry March 19, 2009 at 10:23 am

Oh, I definitely have a lock on my door. And I use it!

Terry´s last blog post…If You’re Tired All the Time

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Bill March 19, 2009 at 10:34 am

Looks like you have some old doors and millwork there Rachel. Very nice.

Just slide the dresser in front of the door cartoon style!!

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singlemomseeking March 19, 2009 at 10:54 am

Bill: Very funny about that dresser in front of the door trick!

John F.: Of course, the first thing that my kid said was, “I want a lock on my door, too!”

I’m blown away by how many of you already have locks — and have established clear boundaries with privacy. You all blow me away!!

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GLSD March 19, 2009 at 11:49 am

All of our bedrm doors have locks. We don’t use them. My kids always knew if the door was closed (not locked) that means they have to knock first, i will say come in and then they came in my room. Same as the bathroom door. If I’m it the bathroom, i don’t necessarily lock it, but it’s closed for a reason. Boundaries and privacy. When my kids got older and they went in their rooms they would close the door to their rooms for “alone time” and i always knocked before hand. It’s out of respect for the whole family.

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Solo-Dad March 19, 2009 at 12:01 pm

I’ll have to check my door. Funny thing is, I think Little Elvis’ room does have one. I’ve not drawn his attention to it for fear that he’ll somehow engage it and close the door after exiting.

Anyway, my main point is that the bedroom door lock is a highly personal decision. For some it’s essential, for others (reading some of the comments above) it abhorrent. To each his, er..her own.

Solo-Dad´s last blog post…Right Livelihood and the Solo-Dad

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Robin March 19, 2009 at 2:26 pm

I think that my bedroom door will lock, just as my daughter’s would, but gosh, I haven’t verified the location of the key for a few years now. I don’t have “sleepovers” if she’s home. We also both know to knock and ask before entering a bathroom or bedroom, which is easier since she’s a teenager than when she was a toddler who had to be right w/ her mommy all the time:) Anyway, put a lock on the bedroom door? Huh? Why? I only ask that my boyfriend’s daughter know to knock on her dad’s front door instead of just walking in if she sees my car over there….. ;) We don’t limit ourselves to his bedrooms.

Robin´s last blog post…Weekend: Part 1: Big Show, et al

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judy March 19, 2009 at 5:17 pm

I have a lock and have only used it when I leave the house and my DD is home alone with a friend or two who I don’t know very well.

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