I need your advice about a man and his exes

by singlemomseeking on February 23, 2009

drink_up

I recently went on a few dates with a guy whom I’d met at a party I’d attended with Depot Dad.

Everything about him looked good on paper: he’s my age, cute, professional, responsible, no kids, a dog owner, legally divorced. He came with good credentials — it turns out that he’s a friend of a friend — and he’s a good communicator (at least by texting).

Although the chemistry wasn’t instant, our conversations were easy and open. (I will add, however, that he’s very serious — I’m not sure if he gets my dry sense of humor.)

So, here’s my question:

This guy just bought a home, which he has been renovating like crazy. He called to let me know that he’s having a little going away dinner party at his condo before he officially moves out.

I was touched that he’d invited me, and I started to put in calls to find childcare.

But a few days later, he left a message saying that he’d like to chat with me about the party.

I called him back, and he explained that he wanted me to know who would be coming to the party. Yes, I’m listening.

As a preface, he explained that he once invited a date to a party, and his ex-wife was there, too. He went onto to say that his date hadn’t been too pleased about spontaneously meeting his ex-wife.

Anyway, he told me that this will be a small, intimate dinner party of eight, with the following guests:

1. His ex-wife (they got divorced two years ago, and have remained close friends)

2. Two women whom he briefly dated in the past year

3. A couple of neighbors

4. A couple of guy friends

5. And me

“Fun!” I said, flippantly. “Your exes and I can all sit around telling stories about you!”

He didn’t laugh.

Honestly, I have no issue with a man who remains friends with his exes.

As long as his boundaries are clear, remaining friends with one’s exes can be gratifying. (Feel free to tell me that I’m talking out of my tush and making excuses — because I’ve remained friends with some exes.)

Anyway, you can do the math: half of the women at this party have been intimately connected to him at some point.

To be honest, I’m not feeling too pumped about going to the party anymore. I don’t know him very well, and it might be awkward surrounded by all these exes.

Please be honest with me:

Am I being immature? Am I overreacting, as I’m known to do?

Should I just suck it up and go?

~~~

In the meantime, over at Singlemommyhood, we question how you know when you’re emotionally ready to date?

Read all about it here.

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