What do you think about non-Jews on JDate?

by singlemomseeking on January 7, 2009

Neither of the most recent men I’ve met on JDate — “The Leading Jewish Singles Network” — were Jews.

One man told me the truth in our first email, which I appreciated.

The other man waited half an hour into our coffee date to smile coyly and say, “I should tell you know that I’m not Jewish.”

The percentage of JDate’s 650,000 members identifying themselves as religiously “unaffiliated” is now 13% and rising, according to a feature in Nerve.com. JDate has even added the option of designating oneself “Willing to convert.”

I’d love to know what you think:

If non-Jews are posting their profiles on a Jewish dating site, are they are misleading everyone?

Seriously, how far can you stretch it online?

Both of these men explained to me they had many Jewish friends, who’d persuaded them to give JDate a try. (Or, maybe they think that Jewish women are hot in bed?)

Technically, I’m only a half-Jew anyway.

If an observant man ever contacted me — the kind of guy who goes observes the Sabbath — I would tell him the truth up front. (This hasn’t happened to me. I don’t think Conservative Jewish guys go after single moms, unless it’s for… oh, never mind.)

I like JDate because the majority of the guys I’ve met are educated, intelligent, well-read, and family-oriented.

Being Jewish is not a deal breaker for me.

But being honest and upfront — from the start — is crucial. Don’t you agree?


Photo of the Star of David, a symbol of Jewish identity

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Krissy April 25, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Well I think if one is wiling to convert and is honest, they should be allowed, but I don’t understand why people would lie. Not allowing non-Jews would just keep it open for people to lie, but that is the deal on any dating site, people lie about there income, show pictures of themselves younger and thinner. That is why you get to know a person first, make sure they are honest, use good judgment. I was not born Jewish, but I learned about the religion and am wiling to convert, as long as there are people wiling to pay and are wiling to convert, they are not taking away from anybody or ruining the dating site. That said, I dont know why somebody not wiling to convert would join. Your religion does have an impact on your lifestyle, depending on how serious one is about their religion, so yes many people on there are expecting to meet Jewish members, but you could filter out non Jewish members or just make sure they are wiling to convert. Remember, they are not taking away members who are Jewish, so its your choice to date anybody you want on there.


Krissy April 25, 2012 at 2:21 pm

I am on JDate, but I was not born Jewish, why I joined cause 1, I am wiling to formally convert, 2, I learned about the religion from my ex, 3 my friends recommended it. That said, I do think people should be honest. Not allowing non Jews who are wiling to convert would just invite people on to lie, cause on a dating site, it is your word that people are reading. I don’t however see the point in joining if you are not wiling to convert or open to the idea, as it is a paid site. Also, why would you lie if you rae looking for a serious relationship with somebody, they have to find out sometime right? Religion has an impact on your life in many ways, how you want ot raise your family your lifestyle, so I do understand why people want to date within there faith. I don’t think however that an honest non-jew wiling to convert would be taking away from somebody who wants to date only Jewish people because there would still be the same amount of Jewish people on the site. Being honest is important in any dating site, also now that you have to be a paid member, I think most of the members are serious about what they put on there, JDate used to be free.


ashley January 16, 2012 at 3:52 am

i came to jdate because of the commercial. I have brown hair so I had a connection with the commercial actors, I don’t know why there is a 4 year old girl on the dating commercial???????


Kiana October 27, 2009 at 7:43 am

yeah that does seem kind of misleading, going on J Date if your’e not Jewish, but then again that could be questioned, because Jewish isnt just a religion, its a cultural/ethnic identity also. There are plenty of agnostic Jews on alot of sites including J Date. So could i equate that with a white guy having a preference Asian girls being on an Asian site?

I would just be kind of put off being there, im not Jewish and i would expect any man there to expect me to be Jewish so I would feel silly.. Not to mention i don’t see a specific reason i’d go scoping out Jewish guys. I do date Jewish guys sometimes, but i think th ats because im in NYC and you just can’t help running into them. Yes i will admit, many of them are nice guys, that doesn’t mean they are ideal partners or soul mates. At the end of the day we are all just humans with our flaws


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