Reprimanded by The Sanity Fairy

by singlemomseeking on January 16, 2009

If it wasn’t enough already — 50+ of you reprimanded me because I’m considering asking a guy on a second date – now Dr. Leah has a bone to pick with me.

You might remember when I recently blogged about that Online Poster contest? (You have until Monday to enter!) I mentioned that I wanted to blow up a huge canvas print of my kid and me — for my bedroom wall.

Apparently, that’s a big “no no.”

Dr. Leah — whom Solo Mother has referred to as “The Sanity Fairy” — explains why kid photos do not belong in the bedroom.

Read what Dr. Leah says here.

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{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Julie January 16, 2009 at 6:43 am

Yeah, it would feel weird to me to be having sex with my son watching from a big ass picture. LOL

But that’s just me!

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Amy Sue Nathan January 16, 2009 at 7:01 am

My bedroom? My choice. I think that’s crazy. Parents have photos of their kids in their bedrooms. If it freaks out a guy, he’s not the right one to be in that bedroom w/ a single mom. Ridiculous.

Amy Sue Nathan´s last blog post…Find other single-moms, even when there are none nearby

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debra January 16, 2009 at 7:17 am

I’m with Amy Sue, it is a good barometer. By the time a man is in my room, I usually already know he is worthy ;) , but if he actually looks at the framed pictures of my son on my dresser, or even better, comments on them, it lets me know what kind of guy he is. But poster sized, I don’t know, maybe Dr. Leah has a point on that one?

Thanks for the post yesterday, and all the great comments. Offering suggestions to others in the same situation as one is in is a wonderful reminder to take one’s own advice. Your asking the question helped me to reinforce what I know I should be doing. Thanks!

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MindyMom January 16, 2009 at 7:40 am

A few little frames with your kids pictures on the dresser is fine, but any more than that and you ARE taking away from the sanctity of your bedroom. My bedroom is the one room in the house not cluttered by my kids stuff! Even though I’m single and not currently sharing my bed with anyone, I want to have it be an adult retreat where I can take my “mom hat” off.

MindyMom´s last blog post…Dating & Blogging

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Erica January 16, 2009 at 8:19 am

So many no-no’s! Don’t you get sick of all the rules?
Don’t put photos of your kids in your bedroom…
Don’t have your headboard facing South…
Don’t spend the kids’ college fund on wine… blah.. blah.. blah…

Erica´s last blog post…Parenting Joy

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QTMama January 16, 2009 at 10:50 am

*grin* I dig Erica.

QTMama´s last blog post…Honesty When Dating

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singlemomseeking January 16, 2009 at 11:34 am

I hear you Erica!!

I think what Dr. Leah means is: by saying “no” to little things — like decorating your bedroom walls with kid photos — you’re actually opening the door to one BIG “yes.”

Dr. Leah?

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Dr.Leah www.singlemommyhood.com January 16, 2009 at 11:48 am

Exactly what I mean!

Of course, only you can make the rules in your own life. What I’m offering is a bit of perspective. Our lives are centered on our kids, yet we yearn for “more than mommy (or daddy)”.

Becoming “more than . . .” logically starts out with carving out space, literally, that’s just for you.

Of course, I have framed pictures of my (gorgeous, fabulous) kids in home. Walk into my home and you know instantly how central my kids are in my life.

My bedroom . . .kid free zone. The vibe is “adult” and all about me as a woman.

Dr.Leah http://www.singlemommyhood.com´s last blog post…Valentine’s Day party giveaway contest!

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SDMktg January 16, 2009 at 3:26 pm

My kids aren’t with me all the time so I have photos. I have some in the living room and I have a couple in frames on my dresser and bookshelf in my room. There’s really no other place for them. I do keep the rest of their stuff out of my room.

The photos aren’t that obvious by candlelight and I have 600 thread count sheets so the room still works.

SDMktg´s last blog post…Playoff Tailgate Recipes PART 1 – Philly vs Arizona

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Dee January 16, 2009 at 4:51 pm

ahhh!! that sounds adorable… i must read the explanation on that Lol!!
although I can already imagine the answer seeing as how I’m a romance rep & all Lol!!
have a great weekend!!
**smiles**
dee

Dee´s last blog post…This Woman Deserves a Party!

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Alicia January 16, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Ummm…yeah, I have to agree with Dr.Leah on this one. It’s weird to 1.) Have my kid staring at me (and staring @ me) while I’m gettin’ it on & 2.) I would imagine it might make any guy uncomfortable (like when he’s going down on you) and looks up to see the lil’ guy staring back at him! My kid is the center of my universe, but my bedroom has to be kid-free & all about me!

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Alicia January 16, 2009 at 7:38 pm

…oops meant (and staring @ him…)

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Amy January 16, 2009 at 7:43 pm

I’m one of those REALLY bad moms who is still allowing the co-sleeping. Sadie is only going to be 4 this February.

So as far as a picture…eh? I suppose her actual presence is probably what’s keeping me from getting laid.

Amy´s last blog post…Journal 119: January 2009 Oops! I Deleted a Comment

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Legal Editor Mom January 16, 2009 at 8:13 pm

I’m with you, Amy, but you know what? When I do get laid, it probably won’t be in my bed, anyway, unless my daughter is gone somewhere.

I wouldn’t “reprimand” anyone for having pics of their kids in their bedrooms; I do agree that it’s your room, your choice. And I also agree that if it freaks the guy out, he shouldn’t be the one in there. By the time a man makes it up to my bedroom, he and my daughter will be quite close (and she still won’t be home!); otherwise, those activities will be talking place outside my home and it won’t be an issue.

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NappyKitchen January 16, 2009 at 9:07 pm

… ha ha ha … Amy, you are so right!

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singlemomseeking January 16, 2009 at 10:10 pm

Amy: Big confession… my kid often crawls into bed with me. Still. I know, I know.

In case you were wondering, I’m still working on all of these things, too.

Amy Sue Nathan: I’m a bit surprised by your strong response. Of course, it’s your choice!

But I DO think if we want to bring some romance into our lives, we need one corner — a little intimate, kid-free space — just for us.

As I said, I’m working on it….

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John F January 17, 2009 at 6:32 am

I agree…ixnay the photo! A few picture frames are great but save the murals for the den or office.

I was a bit creeped out with a largeish family photo over a GF’s bed

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Kristin January 17, 2009 at 11:25 pm

Good birth control maybe…? If that’s a concern…? I don’t have photo’s in my room, never really thought about it. I’d totally have pictures up in the rest of the house though, which ironically is where the ‘deed is done’ more often since she’s usually passed out in my room and we’ve snuck off.

Kristin´s last blog post…MS Walk 2009

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