Lasting love on “The Bachelor”? Not so sure

by singlemomseeking on January 5, 2009

When I first heard that single dad Jason Mesnick was going to be “The Bachelor,” I was skeptical.

After his appearance on “The Bachelorette,” hundreds of women had tried to contact Jason. ABC got so flooded with requests that the network gave him a personal email account.

Many of these women wanted to date him, and many were begging him to go back on the show — as “The Bachelor.” (Don’t get me started about whether he’s looking for love — or fame.)

But my curiosity is getting the best of me.

I’ll be watching the “The Bachelor” premiere tonight (Monday) on ABC with a two-hour special starting at 8 p.m.

How could I miss it? For the first time ever, “The Bachelor” is a single dad.

Mesnick has left his son back home — with his ex-wife and parents — to move into a Los Angeles bachelor pad. He will meet 25 suitors, including four single mothers.

Will you be watching the show, too?


When my kid was a preschooler — like Jason’s Mesnick’s three-year-old son, Ty – I was idealistic and hopeful, too. (Although given the chance, I would not have left my kid for weeks in order to move into a bachelorette pad in L.A.)

I wonder how I’ll feel as I watch the show. At the moment, I’m skeptical about finding The One. Maybe that’s what online dating does to us.

Is it really so hard to find love nowadays? Really now.

Why is it so challenging to connect to another human being — and have a healthy, loving, lasting relationship?

Are we really that complicated?

Or, that picky?

Read more about the ideal woman Jason Mesnick is looking for at

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{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

Rhonda January 23, 2009 at 6:04 pm

I just want people to know that Shannon from Missouri is fake. She always has been and I’m sure nothing has changed. I know her personally as a inconsiderate, selfish daddy’s girl. Hope he sees through her bull ….


Charles January 19, 2009 at 6:46 pm

How much time does his son actually spend with him? On one hand he throws the single dad card around then on the other hand the kid is with his mother. I mean seriously is he every other weekend dad looking for some hero biscuits? IMO he is a doucebag and really my opinion is what counts.


Jenna January 14, 2009 at 2:16 pm

So, I have figured out that the girl that Jason will ask to marry is: Melissa! If you watch very, very, very closely, the last scene (coming attractions trailor) from the first episode – where Jason asks the girl to marry him – you can see a pinky ring on the girl’s right hand. The only girl who wears a pinky ring is Melissa. Just saved you a whole season of watching…


EmiMac January 12, 2009 at 11:59 am

If the screencap of the final rose ceremony is authentic, then Melissa is the winner due to the distinctive markings on her arm matched perfectly to other photos of her taken in the past. I’m surprised though that ABC would put that screencap out so soon knowing how we like to analyze everything to death. Seems a little too easy.


Honey January 11, 2009 at 10:21 am

Oh, it is also why it seems so hard to make a connection if you are a regular person.

Honey´s last blog post…Snowboarding, Sickness, and a Breakdown at the Grocery Store


Honey January 11, 2009 at 10:19 am

I LOVE “The Bachelor.” And studies indicate that the fewer choices we have, the easier it is to make those choices, and the happier we are with them. That’s why the competitors always find love on the show, and also why as soon as the show is over – and we have infinite choice again – the relationships almost always dissolve.

Honey´s last blog post…Snowboarding, Sickness, and a Breakdown at the Grocery Store


SingleDad January 6, 2009 at 12:30 am

I just saw the show tonight.Hmmmm…Being a Single Dad I have a few observations. First, how is it possible to only cast 3-4 women over the age of 31 and expect this guy to choose any one of them? Of course he didn’t!! Because he is standing in front of 20-30 Women in their 20’s?…It wasnt even a fair competition tonight! Just remeber Jason, looks can come and go… I just have to ask, Why is this acceptable? I see this too often depicted on TV where the “older guy” is shopping the younger women.
I’m not perfect, and I have made my mistakes on choosing the wrong women to date, but I wouldn’t bring a woman that young around my family…I already have two daughters, I don’t need another one!


mark January 5, 2009 at 8:38 pm

NO JOKE: Melissa from Dallas wins the show. She came back from the show and told my best friend (her ex) that she is engaged. Five million is what she is going to get tagged with in a law suit. Watch.


AK January 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm

This show is just crap crap crap (of course, I say that as I am glued to the tv with my jaw hanging down to the floor!). I hope he really finds the person he is supposed to be with– we all deserve that…All the speculating about ty not being with him can be laid to rest now…I’m so glad he’s with him..but I don’t know about Deanna showing back up–that’s not anything good for J’s emotions…we all know how it feels when THAT person shows back up…confusing, heart breaking, hopeful, your heart falls…I feel for him and I can’t wait to see how he copes…

AK´s last blog post…The Sweetest Moments…


SDMktg January 5, 2009 at 6:41 pm

I do have to wonder how much he has his son to begin with. I wouldn’t leave my kids for weeks let alone months. I’ve never been a fan of the show because it’s too much of a competition. In real life if you meet 25 people out of the blue wouldn’t at least one say, “This guy just isn’t my type,” right at the outset? But they never do.

I have to imagine that he has a good relationship with his ex because changing your custody arrangement for a few months can have disastrous consequences if a new status quo is set.

Otherwise, I wish him the best but I still won’t be watching. I have other things to do. 😉

SDMktg´s last blog post…Happy New Year!!!


Tishia Lee January 5, 2009 at 6:02 pm

You bet I’ll be watching. I watch every season of the show but this one I wouldn’t miss for anything. I love Jason and couldn’t believe Deanna didn’t pick him! I think as a twister to make the show interesting they will probably bring Deanna in at some point in time(which I think would totally suck & be wrong but I have a feeling they’ll do something like that especially now that she broke it off with Jesse).

Tishia Lee´s last blog post…Day 2 of the Meds


Anita January 5, 2009 at 5:37 pm

No chance of watching as I am in Australia, but in relation to finding ‘the one’. Nope. Narda. No.

Where the hell do I find the time. If someone out there is available on Wednesdays, between 8-10pm then possibly. Heck I may even have to cut that back to 8-9.30pm…..

On a serious note (will try), I have to be physically attracted to someone. I take lots of pride in myself and would love the same. But seeing that my time is limited (see above), I am finding it hard to venture out and meet potential candidates. Oh it is just too too hard…


judy January 5, 2009 at 5:10 pm


Here I live in his city, and a perfect potential partner, yet he believes he has to go else to find ‘her’ WRONG

and this morning on my local radio show KMTT 103.7 The Mountain, one of the morning female DJ’s got his home number (through sneaky sources ’cause she is single as well) and called a few times leaving messages about doing a a radio interview. He never returned the calls.


T January 5, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Well, I don’t know his backstory… how often does he actually have his kids anyway? Some single dads only have the kiddos every other weekend. In that case, then his being a true bachelor isn’t far from the truth. If he normally has primary custody, then yes, they should work that into the dating part of the show.

I’ll have to check in here to see what happens. I don’t get to watch too much TV and when I do, the only reality TV I enjoy is American Idol!

Miss you guys!!

T´s last blog post…Inspired


Alice January 5, 2009 at 2:11 pm

I’m psyched on the Bachelor coming back! Anyone playing the last 2 game this season?


Amy Nathan January 5, 2009 at 1:46 pm

I bet you’re not surprised to hear I find it ridiculous…to leave his son behind to find a woman on tv. But, The Bachelor/The Bachelorette is one of my guilty pleasures. Gives me ample opportunity to tell my teens all the things NOT to do. Plus, Jason is adorable…so how could I resist?


Elisabeth January 5, 2009 at 1:18 pm

I will definately be watching. I really, really hope it works out for him. I have enjoyed the show but I think the track record proves it isn’t a realistic way to meet your soulmate.

Elisabeth´s last blog post…Coming home


Erica January 5, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I say good luck to him, but I honestly don’t think it will end in true love. And every time I see women fawning over single dads, I want to poke my eyes out with my yogurt spoon.

(Love your blog, btw!)

Erica´s last blog post…2009 – The Year of the Lumberjack


singlemomseeking January 5, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Naughty Mommy: You’re not missing anything! You’re right on target!

Double standard indeed! When the dating reality show “Must Love Kids” was filmed, the single moms stayed at home with their kids and continued to work, etc.

As Kari points out, the show would be MUCH more realistic if it showed Jason running from work to daycare to a date… a potential girlfriend would also get a more realistic sense of his life as a divorced dad.

Ah, reality TV! Can’t wait to hear what the rest of you think after tonight’s premiere.


Naughty Mommy January 5, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Rachel, don’t you think people would be outraged and overly opinionated if it were a single mom leaving her kid for months to live in a bachelorette pad? From here, it looks like a double standard; single dad is cast as a sexy hero for looking for love with a kid, where you’ve been blasted time and again for being honest about your efforts. Am I missing something? xoxo, H


Lees January 5, 2009 at 11:45 am

Yah… I’ll probably be watching. I always get sucked into these shows. I haven’t checked out the contestants yet, but I hope they have some quality, classy women on there. Seems like the past few seasons they’ve had alot of girls in their early 20s & sort of immature (not that there’s anything wrong with that… just seems so young to be going on a show like that!)

I agree about it getting harder & harder to meet someone. I’m still youngish (28) which actually makes me a bit of an old-maid in the Midwest (all my friends are married or engaged) but I am trying to remain hopeful that someone interesting and attractive is out there… if not, then so be it!

Happy New Year!

Lees´s last blog post…Designed to Sell Part 2


MindyMom January 5, 2009 at 11:43 am

Oh yeah I’ll be watching! This show is so entertaining although doesn’t reflect anything remotely close to real-life dating. I am glad to see a single parent on the show finally.

MindyMom´s last blog post…Extreme Moms & Orgasmic Births vs. Letting Go


Angie January 5, 2009 at 11:19 am

I’ll be watching! (or at least recording to watch commercial free later!)

I wonder if he is grateful he wasn’t chosen last season since Deanna spontaneously broke it off with Jesse one day…leaving him totally confused. I have a feeling it’s all about the fame for most of these folks and Jason just might be in it for the right reasons. Which would lead me to hope he has a connection with one of the mommies…who are probably there for similar reasons…

Angie´s last blog post…2009 Goals – 3 & 4 of 4 – More Fun/Less Consumption!


BlueBella January 5, 2009 at 10:53 am

I have a really tough time believing love can be found on a reality show. . . it’s hard enough to find IRL.

And I’m just too jaded at this point to provide any meaningful insight into successful dating in today’s world. I’m counting myself better off alone and happy til further notice!

BlueBella´s last blog post…They Just Might Explode


won January 5, 2009 at 10:09 am

I am so glad to see I am not the only one thinking about the show tonight….or at least not the only one who will admit it.

I even wrote about it here…number five in the list of questions.

My little guilty pleasure…

won´s last blog post…And So It Is…


Kari January 5, 2009 at 9:39 am

It would be much more ideal to let him have his parenting time thrown into the mix *note not around all the women*. See what it is really like to be with him, how often he’s available and all that jazz, wouldn’t it?

I won’t be watching because I’ve never watched and not really into those types of shows, I might tune in once or twice.

Kari´s last blog post…Toothbrush Duty!!


JulieR January 5, 2009 at 9:06 am

You bet I’ll be watching. I really hope he finds lasting love this time…

Hey, stop by my blog today, Vinnie needs some advice!!!!


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