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	<title>Comments on: Is it okay to ask a man out on a second date?</title>
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	<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/</link>
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		<title>By: Straight from a man</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-3/#comment-9102</link>
		<dc:creator>Straight from a man</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:39:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-9102</guid>
		<description>Think of him as fisherman.  He went back to an old fishing hole to try to catch a fish he had on the line before.  He hooked you and realed you in; in fact he got you to swim to his house.  He&#039;s done and he toss you back in the lake.  He may come back now and then to see if you still grab the bait.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Think of him as fisherman.  He went back to an old fishing hole to try to catch a fish he had on the line before.  He hooked you and realed you in; in fact he got you to swim to his house.  He&#8217;s done and he toss you back in the lake.  He may come back now and then to see if you still grab the bait.</p>
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		<title>By: When two single parents are dating each other. One dad speaks up. &#124; Single Mom Seeking...</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-3/#comment-8587</link>
		<dc:creator>When two single parents are dating each other. One dad speaks up. &#124; Single Mom Seeking...</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:17:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8587</guid>
		<description>[...] In fact, it was reading your single parent blogs that inspired this single dad of two high schoolers to go back online! [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] In fact, it was reading your single parent blogs that inspired this single dad of two high schoolers to go back online! [...]</p>
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		<title>By: I blew it and asked him out &#124; Single Mom Seeking...</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-3/#comment-8451</link>
		<dc:creator>I blew it and asked him out &#124; Single Mom Seeking...</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jan 2009 10:02:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8451</guid>
		<description>[...] I thought I could prove you wrong. Maybe I was acting out. Maybe I&#8217;m not ready to date. Maybe I was hormonal. (I&#8217;m going on nine months without [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] I thought I could prove you wrong. Maybe I was acting out. Maybe I&#8217;m not ready to date. Maybe I was hormonal. (I&#8217;m going on nine months without [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Alicia</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-3/#comment-8442</link>
		<dc:creator>Alicia</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:27:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8442</guid>
		<description>I&#039;m always so late to the party! Anyway, Rachel, I really feel what you are feeling-and I&#039;m conflicted. I agree with AK-the point is that we all want someone who likes us enough to give a call, email, or text in a timely fashion. You were sweet enough to bring the guy cake-he KNOWS you want to see him again. Nobody is that busy, I&#039;m sorry. We are all adults and I don&#039;t buy &quot;4 days is nothing&quot;. That&#039;s bull! He&#039;s playing games. On the other hand, I don&#039;t think this is about playing games, it&#039;s about treating others as you would want to be treated. Don&#039;t ask him out. Because he hasn&#039;t proved worthy to be asked out.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m always so late to the party! Anyway, Rachel, I really feel what you are feeling-and I&#8217;m conflicted. I agree with AK-the point is that we all want someone who likes us enough to give a call, email, or text in a timely fashion. You were sweet enough to bring the guy cake-he KNOWS you want to see him again. Nobody is that busy, I&#8217;m sorry. We are all adults and I don&#8217;t buy &#8220;4 days is nothing&#8221;. That&#8217;s bull! He&#8217;s playing games. On the other hand, I don&#8217;t think this is about playing games, it&#8217;s about treating others as you would want to be treated. Don&#8217;t ask him out. Because he hasn&#8217;t proved worthy to be asked out.</p>
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		<title>By: andieeast</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8440</link>
		<dc:creator>andieeast</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:49:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8440</guid>
		<description>OH PUHLEASE! What year is this? What Century? 

If you are excited about him then ask him out again. If he&#039;s not as excited about you as you are about him, then asking him out again will not change that. I think this whole game stuff is STUPID. people should both be excited about each other. I mean don&#039;t ask him if your daughter can call him dad and I wouldn&#039;t reccomend giving him a ring but a piece of cake? Be yourself, be honest, and ask for what you want. That&#039;s the only way you&#039;ll ever get it. And if he doesn&#039;t have it to give? Nothing is going to change that. 

listen to your heart.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>OH PUHLEASE! What year is this? What Century? </p>
<p>If you are excited about him then ask him out again. If he&#8217;s not as excited about you as you are about him, then asking him out again will not change that. I think this whole game stuff is STUPID. people should both be excited about each other. I mean don&#8217;t ask him if your daughter can call him dad and I wouldn&#8217;t reccomend giving him a ring but a piece of cake? Be yourself, be honest, and ask for what you want. That&#8217;s the only way you&#8217;ll ever get it. And if he doesn&#8217;t have it to give? Nothing is going to change that. </p>
<p>listen to your heart.</p>
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		<title>By: SDMktg</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8438</link>
		<dc:creator>SDMktg</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 22:06:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8438</guid>
		<description>Im amazed at how many responses there are here.  I think Bonnie has a point.  The guy also could have been joking about the cake and got freaked out when you brought it to him.  I made a similar comment about the heart shaped lasagna.

I once told a girl on a second date that I really like Coco by Chanel.  The next date she was wearing it. &quot;For me,&quot; she said.  That&#039;s an expensive perfume and I wasn&#039;t happy she went out and bought it for me, I was freaked out.  It was over the top.

I had the &quot;she&#039;s just not that into you&quot; thing with a woman I dated a few years ago.  She was a busy attorney and our dates were sporadic along with a couple of cancellations.  I finally just point blank asked her what was going one.  As many have said, single parents don&#039;t have time for the games.  I got my answer and I moved on.

You definitely don&#039;t need to try so hard.  I&#039;m surprised there isn&#039;t a line of men waiting to take you out.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;em&gt;SDMktg&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://www.tailgatingtimes.com/index.php?/archives/160-Playoff-Tailgate-Recipes-PART-1-Philly-vs-Arizona.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Playoff Tailgate Recipes PART 1 - Philly vs Arizona&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Im amazed at how many responses there are here.  I think Bonnie has a point.  The guy also could have been joking about the cake and got freaked out when you brought it to him.  I made a similar comment about the heart shaped lasagna.</p>
<p>I once told a girl on a second date that I really like Coco by Chanel.  The next date she was wearing it. &#8220;For me,&#8221; she said.  That&#8217;s an expensive perfume and I wasn&#8217;t happy she went out and bought it for me, I was freaked out.  It was over the top.</p>
<p>I had the &#8220;she&#8217;s just not that into you&#8221; thing with a woman I dated a few years ago.  She was a busy attorney and our dates were sporadic along with a couple of cancellations.  I finally just point blank asked her what was going one.  As many have said, single parents don&#8217;t have time for the games.  I got my answer and I moved on.</p>
<p>You definitely don&#8217;t need to try so hard.  I&#8217;m surprised there isn&#8217;t a line of men waiting to take you out.</p>
<p><abbr><em></em><em>SDMktg&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://www.tailgatingtimes.com/index.php?/archives/160-Playoff-Tailgate-Recipes-PART-1-Philly-vs-Arizona.html" rel="nofollow">Playoff Tailgate Recipes PART 1 &#8211; Philly vs Arizona</a></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Dora</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8437</link>
		<dc:creator>Dora</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:04:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8437</guid>
		<description>Rachel, you will never be pursued if you don&#039;t allow yourself to be pursued. Sit on your hands! No more emails or calls. Believe me, I have been where you are, and you are only torturing yourself. You&#039;re hoping for comments that will give you permission to do what you want to do, despite the fact that it hasn&#039;t worked well in the past. That you are twisting yourself into knots after one date should tell you something.

Dr. Leah&#039;s advice is spot on, especially this:
&quot;there are some men (and women, too),who enjoy that first date whirl, but then disappear. They give “potential relationship signals”, but there’s never any follow-up.&quot;&quot;

Also, and not to come down hard on you, but there are good lessons here, I think dropping off the cake was a BAD idea. TOO MUCH, TOO SOON! The cake conversations between you were flirty banter. Should have been left at that.

And, YES, getting worked up because you haven&#039;t heard from someone in 4 days after a first date does come off as needy. Sorry. Really, I&#039;m sorry. This is hard stuff.

&lt;abbr&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;em&gt;Dora&#180;s last blog post...&lt;a href=&quot;http://isothegoldenegg.blogspot.com/2009/01/pay-it-forward-fridays-vote-for-stirrup.html&quot; rel=&quot;nofollow&quot;&gt;Pay it Forward Fridays — Vote for The Stirrup Queen!&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/abbr&gt;&lt;/em&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Rachel, you will never be pursued if you don&#8217;t allow yourself to be pursued. Sit on your hands! No more emails or calls. Believe me, I have been where you are, and you are only torturing yourself. You&#8217;re hoping for comments that will give you permission to do what you want to do, despite the fact that it hasn&#8217;t worked well in the past. That you are twisting yourself into knots after one date should tell you something.</p>
<p>Dr. Leah&#8217;s advice is spot on, especially this:<br />
&#8220;there are some men (and women, too),who enjoy that first date whirl, but then disappear. They give “potential relationship signals”, but there’s never any follow-up.&#8221;"</p>
<p>Also, and not to come down hard on you, but there are good lessons here, I think dropping off the cake was a BAD idea. TOO MUCH, TOO SOON! The cake conversations between you were flirty banter. Should have been left at that.</p>
<p>And, YES, getting worked up because you haven&#8217;t heard from someone in 4 days after a first date does come off as needy. Sorry. Really, I&#8217;m sorry. This is hard stuff.</p>
<p><abbr><em></em><em>Dora&#180;s last blog post&#8230;<a href="http://isothegoldenegg.blogspot.com/2009/01/pay-it-forward-fridays-vote-for-stirrup.html" rel="nofollow">Pay it Forward Fridays — Vote for The Stirrup Queen!</a></em></abbr></p>
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		<title>By: Apples</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8420</link>
		<dc:creator>Apples</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 06:58:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8420</guid>
		<description>I think this might be the reason I don&#039;t date really.  I am not the best game player.
  
If it was me.  -And we all know it wouldn&#039;t be seeing as I don&#039;t date ha. Anyhow, I am so casual about things.  I&#039;d call or email just to say Hi and ask him what he is up to.  Then say something like yeah cool.  I got a babysitter and am headed out to the bookstore (or whatever) you could join me if your up to it.  

I&#039;d do this because 1. I am tooo chicken to be totally blunt and 2. I know I would beat myself up about it forever with the &quot;what ifs&quot;

Good luck keep us updated.  If all else fails just tell him that your a blogger and send him a link.  HAHAHAHA ;)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I think this might be the reason I don&#8217;t date really.  I am not the best game player.</p>
<p>If it was me.  -And we all know it wouldn&#8217;t be seeing as I don&#8217;t date ha. Anyhow, I am so casual about things.  I&#8217;d call or email just to say Hi and ask him what he is up to.  Then say something like yeah cool.  I got a babysitter and am headed out to the bookstore (or whatever) you could join me if your up to it.  </p>
<p>I&#8217;d do this because 1. I am tooo chicken to be totally blunt and 2. I know I would beat myself up about it forever with the &#8220;what ifs&#8221;</p>
<p>Good luck keep us updated.  If all else fails just tell him that your a blogger and send him a link.  HAHAHAHA <img src='http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: Bonnie</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8417</link>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 04:49:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8417</guid>
		<description>Seriously people.  Have we lowered standards so far that we miss the obvious of thanking people?  

Would you marry someone and cook for them after working all day and be ok without being thanked?  

Or what about when you bring your partner a glass of wine, beer or snack after kids and homework and dinner, etc and you never thanked each other?  For goodness sake if they don&#039;t start out doing it what do you think will happen later!?

 Rachel -- do your next post on standards and expectations for yourself and love. How do you want to be treated in your next marriage/relationship/hookup?  What do you deserve?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Seriously people.  Have we lowered standards so far that we miss the obvious of thanking people?  </p>
<p>Would you marry someone and cook for them after working all day and be ok without being thanked?  </p>
<p>Or what about when you bring your partner a glass of wine, beer or snack after kids and homework and dinner, etc and you never thanked each other?  For goodness sake if they don&#8217;t start out doing it what do you think will happen later!?</p>
<p> Rachel &#8212; do your next post on standards and expectations for yourself and love. How do you want to be treated in your next marriage/relationship/hookup?  What do you deserve?</p>
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		<title>By: Bonnie</title>
		<link>http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/2009/01/is-it-okay-to-ask-a-man-out-on-a-second-date-i-need-your-advice/comment-page-2/#comment-8416</link>
		<dc:creator>Bonnie</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Jan 2009 04:37:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://singlemomseeking.com/blog/?p=3237#comment-8416</guid>
		<description>Yes, he is the douche bag and playing a power game with you.  He got you to bring the cake literally to him.  So he could have his cake and eat it too without having to do anything.  

He also now has the power over your mind right now and he knew he would if  you brought the cake over.  These people that are making excuses as to why he has not communicated in four days are making excuses for him.  Stop.  

Do you want to be in a relationship with a game player or poor communicator? 

I hope not even though games can be fun sometimes, but only when it is reciprocal   flirting.  Listen and listen from a gal who dated way too many frogs is a close age to you and my kiddo to yours.  The man that will be worth your time, thoughts and sharing cake with will pick up the phone (no text no email) or just come over to see you because he will put you at the top of the list which is where you want to be and deserve to be.  

Take this from a gal who ALWAYS  got the call or visit from a very busy attorney  even when both his daughters were very ill and he was taking them across the country to doctors.  He had legitimate excuses if he wanted for not calling for months or ever.  I think as far as I can tell from the comments that maybe only two of us are remarried and  we married fellas that stopped the games.  Your time, love and energy are precious gifts so don&#039;t ever waste them waiting or fretting over a guy who didn&#039;t call and ask you to come over and share that slice with him.  

Worse- he didn&#039;t thank your busy mama self for taking the time to bring him a wonderful piece of cake.?

This automatically earned him Gun&#039;s and mine &quot;dbag&quot; label.  Manners are very important so you can send him an email telling him you don&#039;t do guys without manners.  Imagine if you slept with him and he didn&#039;t thank you, ugh.  This lesson I had to learn.  If a man doesn&#039;t thank you then just keep moving, esp for sex.  So important to thank people and to share for sharing themselves-kisses, hugs, sex, cake...whatever.  So important to literally thank each other.  

No one had ever done that with me before and after I could never be with a partner who didn&#039;t.   And if it feels so amazing when you both thank each other.  Like better than that sacred kiss after awesome lovin&#039;.  So good.  

Try it folks.  I thank the man who has taught me that everyday.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yes, he is the douche bag and playing a power game with you.  He got you to bring the cake literally to him.  So he could have his cake and eat it too without having to do anything.  </p>
<p>He also now has the power over your mind right now and he knew he would if  you brought the cake over.  These people that are making excuses as to why he has not communicated in four days are making excuses for him.  Stop.  </p>
<p>Do you want to be in a relationship with a game player or poor communicator? </p>
<p>I hope not even though games can be fun sometimes, but only when it is reciprocal   flirting.  Listen and listen from a gal who dated way too many frogs is a close age to you and my kiddo to yours.  The man that will be worth your time, thoughts and sharing cake with will pick up the phone (no text no email) or just come over to see you because he will put you at the top of the list which is where you want to be and deserve to be.  </p>
<p>Take this from a gal who ALWAYS  got the call or visit from a very busy attorney  even when both his daughters were very ill and he was taking them across the country to doctors.  He had legitimate excuses if he wanted for not calling for months or ever.  I think as far as I can tell from the comments that maybe only two of us are remarried and  we married fellas that stopped the games.  Your time, love and energy are precious gifts so don&#8217;t ever waste them waiting or fretting over a guy who didn&#8217;t call and ask you to come over and share that slice with him.  </p>
<p>Worse- he didn&#8217;t thank your busy mama self for taking the time to bring him a wonderful piece of cake.?</p>
<p>This automatically earned him Gun&#8217;s and mine &#8220;dbag&#8221; label.  Manners are very important so you can send him an email telling him you don&#8217;t do guys without manners.  Imagine if you slept with him and he didn&#8217;t thank you, ugh.  This lesson I had to learn.  If a man doesn&#8217;t thank you then just keep moving, esp for sex.  So important to thank people and to share for sharing themselves-kisses, hugs, sex, cake&#8230;whatever.  So important to literally thank each other.  </p>
<p>No one had ever done that with me before and after I could never be with a partner who didn&#8217;t.   And if it feels so amazing when you both thank each other.  Like better than that sacred kiss after awesome lovin&#8217;.  So good.  </p>
<p>Try it folks.  I thank the man who has taught me that everyday.</p>
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