A little hope?

by singlemomseeking on January 9, 2009

Some nights, I sit and remember the month I moved back to California with my sweet pea of a toddler. It was time for us to come home, to be closer to family. As much as I loved New York City, my baby needed more than the city could offer. So did I.

We’d just settled into the home of a single mom, upstairs, and we got to share her incredible garden where I took this photo. I was on a roll as a freelance writer and editor. I’d found a sweet, loving preschool near our home.

I was ready to date again.

First, I met a cute guy at the grocery store. We had a hot fling that quickly fizzled. But I was feeling confident. There was a man out there for me. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I was really looking for a man to fill that hole inside me.

When I put myself on online, I was still heartbroken. But I dated and dated. I had a few short relationships, if you could call them that.

I dated some more. When I fell in love with the Israeli and thought, “This is it.” We were talking marriage and a baby.

But we couldn’t make it work. It was time for me to face my loneliness head on.

Jump ahead two more years — with lots of introspection and tears in between — and I’m back out there.  Initially, I decided I wasn’t going to blog about any of my dates. It’s time for me to have some privacy, to keep the details behind closed doors.

Still, I wish I could tell you I’ve felt a spark, a glint, a flicker… anything.

Give me a little hope.

Is there a confident, intelligent, sweet single guy out there who can appreciate me as a woman, mother — and blogger?

I’ll do the same for him. I will.

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