Some nights, I sit and remember the month I moved back to California with my sweet pea of a toddler. It was time for us to come home, to be closer to family. As much as I loved New York City, my baby needed more than the city could offer. So did I.
We’d just settled into the home of a single mom, upstairs, and we got to share her incredible garden where I took this photo. I was on a roll as a freelance writer and editor. I’d found a sweet, loving preschool near our home.
I was ready to date again.
First, I met a cute guy at the grocery store. We had a hot fling that quickly fizzled. But I was feeling confident. There was a man out there for me. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I was really looking for a man to fill that hole inside me.
When I put myself on online, I was still heartbroken. But I dated and dated. I had a few short relationships, if you could call them that.
But we couldn’t make it work. It was time for me to face my loneliness head on.
Jump ahead two more years — with lots of introspection and tears in between — and I’m back out there. Initially, I decided I wasn’t going to blog about any of my dates. It’s time for me to have some privacy, to keep the details behind closed doors.
Still, I wish I could tell you I’ve felt a spark, a glint, a flicker… anything.
Give me a little hope.
Is there a confident, intelligent, sweet single guy out there who can appreciate me as a woman, mother — and blogger?
I’ll do the same for him. I will.
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