Just for fun, I logged back into JDate last night to poke around.
JDate, like many other online dating sites, has a system of automatically matching you up with members. They do this based on your preferences, I assume (age, location, etc.).
The truth is: I usually ignore their “matches.” Until yesterday.
How could I not? Guess who popped up as my “match”?
Yes, the cop whom I haven’t since our little run in on the hiking trail two+ months ago. I’m glad I offered him so much dating advice during our numerous late night chats. I hope he’s having a ball.
And, get this: as if to rub salt in the wound, he was my “featured match“!
This is going to be fun! Don’t you think so?
By the way, I checked: my ex-boyfriend, the Israeli, who logged onto Jdate the week after we broke up? He’s still there, too.
Tell me: Have you ever “run into” an ex online?
What did you do?
Say, “Nice to run into you here”?
Run and hide?
Send a “flirt”?
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Just said hi. It happens.
Mike´s last blog post…Passing Time
I block them. No need to have those that you already know are not a good match keep popping up at you staring you in the face. Hopefully JDate has that feature?
Trish´s last blog post…You have GOT to be kidding me.
I ran into an ex on a dating web site, sent a flirt and told her how nice she looked. I ended up going over for pizza and a ballgame and remembered all over again why she was my ex. Turned down the invitation to stay over and got the heck out of there.
Kevin´s last blog post…Fort Worth Turkey Trot: I won my age group
I haven’t, but if I did I would most certainly run and hide!!
That’s the strange thing for me about online dating. The matches never seem to be someone who I’d choose for myself and it really makes me wonder. I’m fairly certain that the perfect guy for me is probably on a dating site that I’m a member of and I’ve been overlooking him all this time…
Heidi´s last blog post…Black Hole
well…it’s why I like the moniker “match.combat”.
For me it depends, if things ended amicably I may send them a note just to say hello and wish them luck in their search. Or I block them. I have also just let things be and done nothing.
Crazy Computer Dad´s last blog post…I really have a lot to say…
I would swiftly dismiss him from your matches and move on, sister! You are “too busy with all of those other prospects” to be bothered with even a flirt or a simple hello… Right?
He had his chance!
I haven’t run into an ex, so to speak, but I *have* been served up a colleague as my “featured match,” as well as someone I once *interviewed for a job with!* Both times, it was funny.
Singleworkingmama´s last blog post…Facetime – Your kids want to spend time with you.
Ignore it and move on…
Wow.. I’m glad i’m not any of these ladies ex’s. I see most of my ex’s at social events.. so I’m never surprised to see them online. We have each other’s contact info if we wanted to text.
But they are your ex for a reason.
Eathan´s last blog post…She Has Bad Breath
Yep I sure have run into an ex on an online dating site before – my son’s dad in fact. Like your situation he was sent to me as a match. Yeah I left that alone and ran the other way. I did find it humorous that the site found us to be a good match. At one point in time we were.
Tishia Lee´s last blog post…Your Blog Personality
Depening on how bad the break up was – I block them! Or I just ignore them – if the contact me I will be nice but dont go out of my way!
laurakim´s last blog post…Cameron – a look back
I ran and hid. His picture was beautiful, and it made me wish we were a couple again, and then I read his profile, and that was the cold shower I needed. He was going through hard times and needed understanding. Yeah, and that means he cannot work, and he will take your last penny. I blocked, ran, and prayed for his next victim.
Yep, block.
PT-LawMom´s last blog post…Hunkering Down
Ha! Last time I logged into Match… last year sometime. My friend J was my match. We thought it was hilarious!
T´s last blog post…A few good men
ditto..ditto…ditto….
it all depends upon the break-up.
In the case BLOCK and EJECT
On-line dating service? How about automated sex? It’s easy – bring your own batteries.
Schvach´s last blog post…
On-line dating, which I’ve never done, reminds me of dormitory assignments at school. I got stuck with a first class jerk, all because we were the only two students with an interest in classical music. As it turned out our mothers had attended school together in Vienna before their panicked immigration to America in the very late 1930′s. To top things off, when I was in elementary school out mothers managed to find each other, and we visited regularly, years before my assigned roommate was born. Forget about ‘arrangements’, they’re ludicrous.
Schvach´s last blog post…
Great tip!! Unfortunately, I’ve been investigating and there’s no way to block members on JDate. Ugh!
Hello, JDate?
I had this happen to me once. I ignored it and went on about my life. He obviously did the same because he said nothing to me.
Kari´s last blog post…I really do have the best daughter ever!
Well thanks to facebook I had a run-in with one of my ex’s last week. After some kindly chatting for a couple of days I vividly remembered why he’s my ex. But I don’t think you need a reminder on this guy . . .you just found out why you never got off the ground.
I say laugh it off but don’t waste any more time with him. You’re too good for that and besides, every minute you spend on the wrong guy is a minute you’re taking away from the right guy.
BlueBella´s last blog post…Mean Mommi
ignore ignore ignore. It would be like running into an ex in a bar who didn’t see you. Would you really go up to him and flirt? I think not.
Saw this on Oprah last week, and thought it might be noteworthy-
romancescam dot com
won´s last blog post…
Oh, this happened to me twice!
The first time, it was a few months after I’d dumped a guy I met online for being a narcissistic pothead. There he was! Justifying my dumping him, his profile now had more lies: He’d lost 7 years in age and added $50K to his income and (amusingly) an advanced degree in astrophysics!
It did give me chills to “encounter” him again, because he was more of a nut and a loser than I’d thought–he even stalked me for a while after I ended it with him. I had to change my cell, home, and work phone numbers, sic security at work on him, tell my kids never to answer the door (he showed up at my house on Halloween), threaten him with lawyers. Also, my complaints about him made him lose his job when my work security guys traced one of his pestering calls to me to his then-workplace. Easy enough to block him online, though, and he never knew I’d seen him! Whew. But I did wish I could have added a warning to his profile so potential dates would know he was a stalker.
I ran into another ex online while we were dating! It was 4 months into our dating exclusively for 3 months (of course, we were exclusive at his insistence)! Yes, I was online looking around myself, but I didn’t have my own profile “on” and I wasn’t contacting anyone because we’d been seeing each other. But his profile was “on” and it said “active within 24 hrs”. I couldn’t believe it! I checked again a few days later, same thing. So I called him on it.
Annoyingly, he refused to explain anything–he just broke down and cried until I gave up. He also avoided explain it later anytime I brought it up–he just sobbed uncontrollably. We dated several more months, but it turned out that sobbing was his way of dealing with everything that he didn’t want to deal with–apparently I was supposed to feel so sorry for him that I would give up disagreeing with him about anything. It was so weird and annoyingly infantile that I decided it was a huge red flag and dumped him. Of course, he cried. Years later, he still sends me the occasional sad and lovelorn emails, begging me to return and saying he’s only ever loved me and etc etc. And he’s still online and always still active!
Oy vey! What a pain in ther a$$. Like others said, I would ignore or block if possible.
SMS – I used to be on JDate and I am almost positive they do have a block function. I know because I unfortunately had to use it with a sleazeball. Perhaps things have changed but maybe double check with their customer service just to be sure.
Mama Dharma´s last blog post…My amazing date tonight…
Yes, Mama Dharma, I also remember that you can block someone from emailing you on JDate — but only after he sends you an email. Or IMs you.
You can’t block a member from simply popping up randomly on the screen…. Oh well, I can ignore, right? (As everyone suggests here.) Thanks!
I did. It was awkward. She gave me shit about my profile. I asked her why she needed 22 photos on hers. Wasn’t 2 or 3 enough?
dadshouse´s last blog post…Flirt-a-Day Update
Yeah, I hate it when JDate tells me that an ex is a match. I’m always like, “Uhm, no, JDate, we are NOT a match.”
tanasie´s last blog post…Getting Carded
I dated a biologist for a month or so who liked the local botanical garden. I was there with a friend maybe 3 months after breaking up with this guy, and because the place reminded me of him (though we had never been there together), I told my friend, “sometimes I log on to Match just to see what losers I dated before are still on there, like the biologist!” Lo and behold he was like 5-10 feet away. He walked away and I said to my friend, “do you think he heard that?” She was like, “Um, yeah.”
Oops.
Honey´s last blog post…In Sickness…
Sure, I’ve bumped into some exes, but it’s no big deal. It’s less awkward than bumping into them while out on a date with someone else.
I’ve never done JDate, what’s the market like?
Lance´s last blog post…7 Thought Leaders in the Dating & Pickup Industry
I say block them. There is no point in feeling pain or any other bad feeling every time you login. They are exes for a reason.
Love Coach Rinatta´s last blog post…Can’t seem to get dating right? Calm down already!
Never online, but i have a bad history of running into an ex while on a first, second, or third date with someone new.
Awkward!