Comments on: First date

By: great9124

great9124 — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:46:17 +0000

One of my friends gave me that tip several years ago about skipping the email chit chat and getting right to the meeting. It worked and it’s much nicer to meet people in person than email back and forth forever when it comes to dating.

I guess I’m lucky to have a deep voice because once I got them on the phone they were hooked and wanted to meet.

By: Lance

Lance — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:57:31 +0000

SMS, these are some good points to bring up. I always speak firmly and confidently, hold eye contact, and hug. I do a Latin-style hug with a quick cheek kiss. I think this is the ideal greeting for a guy meeting a first date. The hug tells you several things immediately: 1. How comfortable and touchy she is. IMO confident, outgoing women will readily respond back with this type hug. 2. The smell test. 3. Her (body) tension level which tells you how to proceed with opening up the date, ie producing more comfort or going immediately into rapport. Lance´s last blog post...Thought Leader Interview Series: Sinn

By: Dan

Dan — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 13:22:01 +0000

Light hug…unless she shoots a hand out first for a handshake. And shaking hands with a woman is a whole subject in itself…

By: Crazy Computer Dad

Crazy Computer Dad — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:58:41 +0000

Voices are important, but not necessarily everything. Sure, for a first impression over the phone. However, how many times have we been put off by some facet of someone we have just met, but later really come to admire the total person they are? How many times have we pursued someone because of some physical attribute, but later realize there were just too many other parts missing? What about the people that are really good at making great first impressions over email, the phone, and in person, but later you find they aren’t interested in any true relationship?

I see handshakes most often upon a first meeting. Maybe a hug at the end if it went well, maybe a light kiss. If I’m not given a hand or a clue I just give her a light hug.

What do I look for? How easy the woman is to talk to. How easily she smiles. How confident she is. Is she nice? How does she parent her children? What life experiences has she had? Not all at once, it isn’t an inquisition after all, but through easy conversation.

I honestly try to walk into every meeting with no expectations or fantasies. I try to be in the moment and be with them. I’ll either leave my cell in the car, or put it on silent. The rest of the world usually becomes a colorful kaleidoscopic blur. I can’t seriously make a judgment call about someone if I’m not paying attention right?

I also recommend not mixing business with dating. It is an instant turnoff for me when I ask someone about what they do and then they try to sell me a house. This has happened more than once.

Crazy Computer Dad´s last blog post…Christmas….

By: Zoeyjane

Zoeyjane — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:18:26 +0000

Okay, so I've literally been on two dates, ever. And one of them literally was a group-friends thing that I knew at the end of the night was a date. I've always fallen straight into relationships. I'm going to take notes, now. Zoeyjane´s last blog post...On Late-Night Feasts

By: walt

walt — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 04:02:18 +0000

I agree with Dadshouse that you shouldn’t be searching for the flaw in the guy, but I don’t agree about making a list of qualities you want in a guy. The nature of online dating is that we don’t have time to meet every person with whom contact is made, so we need to narrow the field a bit before committing to a meeting. Fine. But once you have committed to meet, I think you are much better off making a conscious decision to avoid an instant evaluation (unless of course you find him physically repulsive), and just let him unfold a bit first. These days I am very confident when meeting a woman, because I am so practiced. However, when I first started dating again, I was a little nervous. But I’m still the same guy as I was then.

By: laurakim

laurakim — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 03:42:50 +0000

Voice is a deal breaker for me! Seriously I can be put off instantly by the sound of a voice! I am VERY aware of it and VERY aware of the tones people use! Greetings - depend on the person. Some dates have hugged me like I am their long lost friend, others a simple kiss on the cheek, some a full on kiss on the lips. I just go with it - I am not too fond of the shake hands greeting - seems a little to impersonal for me! laurakim´s last blog post...Visit to the Lion and Rhino Park

By: tanasie

tanasie — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 01:07:37 +0000

I totally agree. A voice is important. I was playing voice mails of potential dates for a girlfriend just yesterday. One guy's voice was so whiney and awful that I can't bring myself to call him back. I had a JDate recently who gave me a hug and kiss when we met for the first time which was a little awkward. I think a handshake is okay. No matter it's pretty awkward and weird. A friend told me yesterday that she thinks that Jewish guys make great husbands (I wouldn't know) but as daters they're often socially awkward freaks. tanasie´s last blog post...Gifts From the Grave

By: judy

judy — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 00:28:15 +0000

meeting people…
Of course the best way is just by living life to its fullest, accepting every invitation, being open to chatting to the person next to you on the bus, knowing that every connectin you make can lead to a plethora of other connections.

Do I heed my thoughts….no usually. Not only do I have to make myself go out, I have to commit to talking to at least one new person before coming home. That’s the tricky part for me.

Sometimes bars get bum raps. I will sometimes go to a bar to knit because it is not home and gets me out.

I just engaged and swapped phone numbers with a man I met at a bar. I was knitting and having a cocktail. He was playing chess and drinking water. (Ok, ok, he admitted to me the water was because he had hit his drinking limit for that night…2 beers and a shot)

It’s a strange thing dating…..those pre-arranged marriages did have something on their side..

By: singlemomseeking

singlemomseeking — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 00:08:29 +0000

MC: Wow!

Dad’s House: Thanks for the reminder to stay positive. Very true.

Judy: You crack me up! That’s because I have to hold myself back from correcting a man’s grammar, too. So true.

SDMktg: You are blessed to have a deep voice. I’m a sucker for a deep voice.

Mindy’s Mom: Let me know if you have creative ways to meet new people face-to-face… that’s not at a bar. Thanks.