First date

by singlemomseeking on December 22, 2008

I’ve recently plunged back into online dating. Without naming names, let’s just say that this whole process has reminded me: social skills really do matter.

It’s one thing to “chat” with a potential date by email. But what happens when you have that first phone call? And how about when you meet in person?

For that initial phone call, I do my best to carve out a quiet, space with no interruptions for 10 minutes. (I see you laughing. Ten private minutes without interruptions as a single parent? Ha!)

I’m extremely sensitive to a man’s voice. If he’s nervous or awkward, it shows right away. You can practically read someone’s aura by listening to the way he talks. Do you agree?

When you meet a date for the first time, eye contact is crucial. If I’m walking up to a man, and his eyes immediately dart to the ground, that’s not a good sign. Are you with me?

Then, there’s the greeting. I’d love to know:

Do you shake hands when you meet a date for the first time? Or, do you give each other a hug? (I’m still figuring this one out, but for now, I listen to my gut about which one to do.)

Once we start talking, I seem to have this uncanny sense for seeing a man’s pain right away. Perhaps this is because I’ve had my share of painful experiences — and the hurt in his eyes mirrors back to me.  Because I know my pattern of trying to “fix” men,  my challenge right now is to recognize the neediness, say “thank you,” and move on.

Tell me:

How much does someone’s voice matter to you, when you speak to him/her for the first time?

How do you greet a blind date when you meet him/her initially? (Hug? Handshake? Big old kiss on the lips? Just kidding!)

What are you super-aware of on a first date?

And no, I DON’T wear my “Single Mom Seeking” T-shirt on a first date!

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