Pardon me for being completely one-sided here.
After all, I breastfed my kid for more than two years. I even made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for being one 1136 women in the SF Bay Area who simultaneously breastfed our babies in the same place. (Woo hee!)
If you haven’t yet heard the news:
Facebook has been “pulling” profile pictures of babies nursing. The pictures have been reported as ‘obscene’ and have been removed. Their posters warned not to re-post or they could be kicked off Facebook.
What is Facebook’s problem?
And who the heck made this corporate decision to ban cozy shots of moms who are breastfeeding? (Let me guess: a group of young guys in Silicon Valley who don’t have kids yet.)
Really now. Nursing a baby: it’s the most simple, natural thing in the world. (And I’ve seen my share of obscene shots on Facebook that did not feature lactation.)
But mothers are speaking out. A group called, “Hey, Facebook, breast-feeding is not obscene!” already has more than 54,000 members, including yours truly.
The group asks: “What about a baby breastfeeding is obscene? Especially in comparison to many other pictures posted all over Facebook that really are obscene.”
I’m working on a piece right now for MomLogic.com about this issue — and I’d love to hear what you think.
Should Facebook reverse the ban? Or, am I overreacting?
Dads, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this one, too.
Photo of Angelina Jolie on the November 2008 issue of W, shot by Brad Pitt as Jolie was breastfeeding one of the new twins.
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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I nursed for nearly 4 years straight (two kids!) and I’m right there with you. I nursed in public all the time and even in the deep south, I rarely got a second look because most of the time, people didn’t know what I was doing. Breastfeeding exposes less skin than most of the clothes women wear in the summertime! I’ve seen some really obscene pictures passed around Facebook but none of them involved babies being fed.
Wondermom´s last blog post…Almost one step closer…
I joined the group and will be attending the virtual nurse-in on the 27th!
Is eating a sandwich in public obscene? Same diff!!! I hate how people get so weird about breastfeeding! It is the most natural thing in the world. If it bothers you then just look away and forget about it.
Erin´s last blog post…Co-Parenting
It’s not obscene at all. I’ve seen a few women who don’t take the appropriate measures, based on the location of the feeding. I don’t find any offense to it, especially if it’s done tastefully.
Eathan´s last blog post…Talking To My Kids
No, it isn’t obscene, but can I ask a stupid question? Why would you put a picture of yourself breastfeeding on Facebook? I wouldn’t put up a picture of myself eating a sandwich.
And just to take my usual devil’s advocate position:
Don’t forget, it’s a business decision, not a personal one. Facebook is a company, not a human. They simply want to get as many customers as they can while offending as few as possible. I would guess that they also are asking the people with lewd photos to remove them. They aren’t asking women not to breastfeed – just not to post photos of it.
Oh, Phil, I can always count on you to be the devil’s advocate!
I think that most people use Facebook as a way to keep in touch with family and friends — it’s a tad more private than a blog. So, these moms are just showing off some of their mothering moments.
The point is: why is a photo of a woman breastfeeding offensive? It shouldn’t be. Right?
Breastfeeding certainly isn’t obscene, but I have to agree with Phil on this one — on both the why people are posting or circulating the photos to begin with (maybe that’s just me personally; I tend not to post many photos of any kind) and that it’s a business decision, pure and simple, and they’re probably applying the “no skin”/”no breasts” rule across the board, regardless of the intent of the photo.
Susan´s last blog post…A little bit of B.A.D.
Ok, and why would someone choose a close-up of a baby nursing as their PROFILE photo? That just seems kind of silly, imo.
And I did breastfeed. Not for long, but still!
Susan´s last blog post…A little bit of B.A.D.
If it is allowed publicly then it obviously cannot be called obscene.
Their advertising often shows a number of women in bikinis, which to me reveals just as much of the their breasts, not to mention the lack of clothing on the rest of their body. If they are going to pull down breast feeding pictures then pull down pictures of anyone not fully clothed….and certainly any shot of a man or a woman where their chest is too well defined beneath what ever clothing there is…in fact, to make it perfectly clear for all cases, just head shots should be allowed and certainly no pictures that show kissing or the idea of a kiss. And what about offending cultures that say a woman’s face should be hidden? We’re offending them too. Religious slogans and ideas can be very offensive to some people so they should stop all that too. Why are they wasting time and energy on this? I would think their time would be better spent looking for imposters and predators.
I really hope they reconsider, they are going down a path they may not want to go down.
I’m always of the opinion that if I don’t like it, I don’t go back. It doesn’t become a problem until you force me to do it. No one is forcing people to go to pages with content they think is inappropriate. I am not forced to look at and accept people’s facebook pages.
Crazy Computer Dad´s last blog post…I crossed a huge milestone today…
That is ridiculous! Even if Facebook weren’t as private as it is this is a Wrong policy! Don’t we have a million other things we can worry about, lets let moms feed their babies in peace. By banning any visual record of this natural moment, aren’t we condemning the moment?
Yah Facebook! Good job making moms feel bad for doing the best they can for their babies.
Angie´s last blog post…Welcome!
I don’t think it’s obscene. Facebook is probably trying to protect themselves from other pictures.
I agree with Phil. Breasts are breasts and Facebook are probably trying to get rid of all bare breast or body part photos, a business decision. I cannot imagine anyone wanting to put such a special, private, bonding session up on the internet anyhow. I breastfed my two but like the generations of women before me, spared the general public a full frontal view of my boobs hanging out and fed them discreetly with appropriate cover-up but in public when we needed to. Unfortunately its women who bare all in public for feeding, making some kind of born-again statement, that force the other side of the argument.
I have 3 kids and 60 months of breastfeeding in, NO it is not obscene! I’ve never understood the hang ups surrounding nursing in public. I hope by the time my daughters have children that the taboo of nursing infants, babies, and toddlers will be a thing of the past! It is ridiculous!
I joined!
Angela´s last blog post…Wordless Wednesday
Of course, breastfeeding is not obscene! Facebook is all wet here — and not from the sweetest liquor in the world, a mom’s breast milk. I joined the Facebook group, and I would happily join the nurse-in, but it’s been a long time since I nursed — I’m now the happy grandmother of 5 breastfed children. Keep up the good work! Sally Wendkos Olds, author, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF BREASTFEEDING
Oh Rachel….
This is a hot button for me. You know I breastfed Sadie until she was 3 1/2. Of course I didn’t breastfeed in public after she was 2 – but that was only because of others discomfort – not my own (and an older toddler or baby does not need to breastfeed so often – so it is easy to say no in public).
The problem here is that we live in a world where woman’s nudity is fine as long as it is serving the visual needs of men and their pleasure. Breastfeeding is a reminder that woman are indeed powerful. There bodies are able to bring forth and sustain life!
And breastfeeding – done properly – exposes VERY little. Oh – my – but its the idea, isn’t it! A woman dare to use her body in some other fashion that to pleasure a man????
And no – I don’t think that most people even realize that this is the thought process that has resulted in such outrage at woman breastfeeding in public. Obviously there are woman who breastfeed who oppose public BF. But if we stop and ask ourselves – WHY would anyone be offended by public BF – there are some deep issues there.
Amy´s last blog post…Journal 114: December 2008 An Open Letter to 2008
I’m pretty clueless about Facebook.
But even if I looked like Angelina Jolie, I still wouldn’t put up in public pictures of me breastfeeding my twins.
Breastfeeding is not obscene, of course, but for me it was quite intimate. I don’t see why anyone would place images of something so intimate in a public place, or even a place where lots of family and friends could view them.
I guess I feel about breastfeeding like I feel about being naked.
I don’t think being naked is obscene, either. I’ve hung out before in nudist hippie resorts, I’m very comfortable with my body. I have these great pictures of me tastefully naked when I was hugely pregnant (kind of like that mag cover of Demi Moore, except I’m not that beautiful (obvs!) and I was much, much huger since I was carrying twins).
I think the pics of me naked & pregnant, like the ones my ex took of me breastfeeding, are totally awesome! But they’re not something I’d sell to a magazine, post on a public website, or include in the annual holiday letter that I send to family & friends (sorry, I do that–it’s the only way to keep in touch. Maybe this letter is approximately equal to Facebook? I’m not sure!).
I guess I am comfortable with the idea that it’s appropriate to have various levels of privacy between the two extremes of totally private and totally public. It’s not lying to keep some things private and others not, at different levels, depending on the audience. This seems to me to fit real life, which is complex.
So, my kids see one side of me, my co-workers another side, my students yet another side, my siblings another, and my BF yet another. I put breastfeeding and nakedness on the more private end if the spectrum.
Well, I’m too old to be breast-fed but I do enjoy girls’ breasts in my mouth..
On a more serious note, yeah that’s censorship gone the wrong way. I doubt it’s silicone valley kids though – California’s pretty open with it, but it’s more likely to be an issue at the Federal level where it is considered to be partial nudity and hence inappropriate for a public website.. stupid rules. There should be more censorship on violence and shitty rappers than on these things.
Jeff Kee´s last blog post…TinyURL on Steroids
How silly. We Americans have such hang ups when it comes to sexuality. Look at how the whole country wet their pants when Janet Jackson’s nipple showed for 1/2 a second at the Superbowl. Jeez.
Kelly´s last blog post…Spacey Preteen, Bars that suck, Weekend plans
Why do we women have to nurse properly? Breast are designed to feed our babies the most healthy and complete meal. I did it like the French–anywhere, anytime and didn’t give a shit if anyone saw me titties! Like Rachel, I nursed my child until she was three–when she needed it. And, goodness, I NEVER hid my child under the blanket—I loved looking deep in her eyes as she nursed! The European women bare their chest on the beach–and no one cares! It’s an American thing where breast has become oversexualized! DAmmit! Proper nursing my ass!
Not overreacting at all, it’s not the least bit obscene…
Vinnie Sorce´s last blog post…My Little Angels…
You’re right, it’s not obscene. On the other hand, if a woman is breast-feeding in public, she is usually discreet about it. And people around her usually don’t stare. That would be impolite.
So I guess my question is – why do some women want to post breast-feeding shots?
Or are they young east-bay childless men posting those pics…?
So its okay to have so much cleavage the only thing that is not showing is your nipple but not be breastfeeding which is the natural purpose of breast anyhow?
In American culture I have noticed that on TV and in public it is not considered indecent to have everything but the nipple and crack to show. Case in point G string triangle top bathing suits. Or what pops into my mind is Little Kim’s little purple pastie outfit at the 99 (I think) VMA’s.
So if this is what is considered acceptable then a child who is nursing is covering that part of the breast anyhow so there should be no issues, correct?
(please note I am being a bit of a smart butt.. I do agree it should not be taken down!)
Facebook needs to have a big step back. There is nothing obscene about breastfeeding. I have a picture of my son breastfeeding that I love. If he was not so embarrassed by it (he is 12) I would have it framed on the wall. I took the picture while I was nursing him. He was about 5 months ago and one of his hands is gently resting on the top of my breast. His eyes are closed. It is one of the most peaceful images I have ever seen.
Honestly, I think Facebook must be scared of being boycotted by people who have a problem with the image of a mother breastfeeding their child. I have seen so MUCH WORSE on Facebook than a child breastfeeding.
I really don’t understand how they can ban certain pictures. If people using Facebook have such a problem with it, why are they looking?? If I see something that I don’t care for, I move on to the next page. I certainly don’t complain. But I guess, to each their own.
Hope everyone have a great holiday season !
Single Mom´s last blog post…Extra Money for Christmas !!!
hi
brestfeeding to the babies is natural act,its not porn or obscne
i think fackbook should publicly say sorry to all females .
i request all females to stop using facebook untill facebook says publicly sorry to all females.
this is insult to your motherhood.
femalehood
http://realityviews.blogspot.com/
mit´s last blog post…Eleven Benefits of Brestfeeding to society
First off let me say I completely agree that breastfeeding is a beautiful natural part of live. I and my ex-wife wished she was able to breastfeed our children but sadly she was unable to.
With that being said I am also the founder of a solutions company that, among other services, deal in web development, design and consulting. The author of this blog asked if there is something she is missing on the “Social Sites” stands on breastfeeding and I hope I can clear somethings up that Social Sites themself could not.
I think it is wrong for anyone including sites to label breastfeeding as obscene, sexual, etc. Instead they should have stated more of the reasons why the do not wish for these pics to be posted on their sites. So here are some of the reasons.
Please note that all these reasons are valid as ridiculous as they might sound and some might think.
1) To breastfeed in public is completely legal in the US. Women who breastfeed in public are exempt from exposure laws. Keep in mind this protects you while your feeding (for obvious reasons)but doesn’t mean it protects anyone including a site owner (who could be held reasonable) from exposure laws when a picture is taken and posted of this nature. Even though mothers are exempt while feeding (which they should) a posted picture of the feeding on the web can still be viewed as partial nudity or even indecent exposure (not the feeding itself but the posting of the feeding).
2) Fairness has to be taken into account here as well. Some women’s areola and / or nipples are larger than others making them more visible in photographs. If social sites justed banned those pictures how fair would that be? If those were not banned could a court, in the event of a lawsuit, agree the photo is acceptable to be posted or not. People sue for the dumbest reasons, business have to protect themselves too.
3) Where to draw the line? Exposure of a full breast is partial nudity. If women breastfeeding are allowed to post those pictures, why couldn’t a person not breastfeeding expose a full breast as well? They will argue that its art and a beautiful part of their nature. Then the full body argument. People will argue this. Another part of drawing the line is photos of a child be born. Thats natural should that be allowed too? If so where are the limits there? If someone really wanted to argue, they could say sex is the natural part of making the baby. Should that be allowed. (I know it sounds ridiculous but just look at some of the lawsuits filed in the court systems this could happen).
4)There are people who are daring and dishonest who may not really be breastfeeding but will pretend in a picture just to be able to post it. Site owners can not verify whether a picture is indeed of a natural part of life or just a spoof. So where it is legal for a women to expose her breast to feed, a women who doesn’t feed could use it as a way to expose herself for fun (aka partial nudity).
5) There are also people who are down right sick and have major mental problems. I won’t go any further on this one.
So is the policy fair? No its not nor can it be fair to everyone. Its not possible nor is it possible to protect everyone online.
Either way you look at it, these sites and their owners get criticized over everything. Why? Because people like to find faults in them and blame them for whatever they can when they are merely trying to prevent unwanted lawsuits.
Thats what all this boils down to sue happy people who more less win because the cost to argue the case is much greater than the amount to settle out of court or as ridiculous as the suit may sound, they have a valid case. Either way the company (Facebook, Myspace) looses.
These are just a few examples of whats looked at when these sites write their policies. Although I agree and understand everyones frustration, I also understand whats going on and why.
I just wish Facebook would have made a less offensive statement. They should have never classified breastfeeding the way that they did. I also agree they should rephrase appropriately and apologize for their prior statements.
Hope this helps brings more light to the matter.
I nursed my babies. I did it privately. Facebook shouldn’t have to show anyone’s naked breasts…..and breastfeeding your child is something private and personal and who the hell wants to look at naked breasts unless it’s for sexual reasons. Women sharing breastfeeding pics to other breastfeeding moms? What the hell……why would they want to look at her bare body nursing her child…..If you want pictures of you feeding your child online, how about bottlefeeding pics, they won’t show naked breasts.
Air those instead….
I’m sorry, but I really don’t need to see anyone breast feeding. Sure you have the right to do so, and to do it in public, but I also have the right to say I don’t want to see it. And why on earth would you want to post a picture on the internet of yourself feeding your child anyways? What is the point of that? Seems like an attention getter to me.
Why do any women who want to breast feed want to show their breasts live on a internet page such as Facebook. Your breasts are extremely private belonging to yourselves, not for everyone to see. I’m all for any woman nursing a baby but why does any woman need to show themselves nursing a baby on a live facebook site. It’s bordering on pornography. Remember children may accidently see them mum’s breasts and get embrassed and ask why mum has her 2 breasts on there?. All the women who have done this please be wise, don’t forget paedophiles also maybe looking at these images on facebook. We must protect ourselves and our kids. Happy nursing mums/women!!
Breastfeed if you must, but be discreet. I personally think a woman’s breasts should be for her spouse only to see, not everyone in a room or public place. Breastfeeding is completely fine with me, but would any of you women be offended if your man saw another woman’s boob being whipped out in front of him? I would be pretty peeved off. Even if they’re going to feed their baby, they should at least try and not just whip it out. If they were meant for the public to see, there would be a law in the U.S. allowing women to walk around topless since it’s so NATURAL as many of you put it. We’re not living in the 1930’s anymore and we’re not apes. Many breastfeeding women think it’s ok to just do it in front of anyone they choose, but think about the ones who get offended by just letting it hang out. Our opinions are just as strong as yours, but try to see it the other way too. Just as you want us to see it all your way. Have some morals. Respect others.
I agree that breastfeeding is not obscene and is very natural..People in America need to grow up and stop looking at the human body as something to be ashamed of! I hope someday this country will see how silly it is about this kind of stuff…I totally disagree with Facebook on this..they are being anal retentive and need to realize that this is a natural part of life…Grow up Facebook!!!