Single dad has my back on YouTube

by singlemomseeking on November 21, 2008

It was quite a build up, but at last I got to meet single dad, RJ — founder of — in the flesh.

At 7 a.m., my phone rang. It was RJ: his flight had been delayed. Fog in San Diego? Are you serious? Apparently so.

At the airport, I sat and re-read your very thoughtful, open questions about single parenting. I took notes about where RJ and I might start. Dating? Your ex? The holidays? Would we have time to talk about it all? I’d hoped so.

When RJ stepped off the plane, he was as cute and warm as I’d imagined. We laughed about the fact that we both had bags under our eyes. Then we hopped into my car. At home, however, my laptop wouldn’t boot up. It has been testy all week and I’d begged it to behave today. Oh no.

At first, I didn’t want to RJ near my computer. I’m very protective of this little machine, my lifeline. He insisted, I persisted. We hadn’t even known each other for an hour and we sounded like an old couple bickering.

But we both meant well, and the truth is: RJ fixed my computer (thank you!).

So, we spent a full eight hours taping videos for all of you. An hour before RJ’s departure, I asked him to give a shout out to the moms here at Single Mom Seeking. Tune into the video below:

In the video, I also explain how RJ “had my back” this evening.

As single parents, we all need someone to “have our back,” someone who will watch out for us as we walk ahead. When I took that first leap here, online as a blogging single mom, I wondered if I’d meet any single dads out there. Sure, I’d passed crossed with a few of them on and JDate… but we went our separate ways.

After three years blogging as a single mom, I’ve been searching for a single dad who might be crazy open enough to film some videos with me — hopefully, he’d also be dedicated, reliable, funny, successful.

Single moms, I’d love to know: is there a guy out there who might have your back?
I’m not talking about romantically. I’m talking about a real friend. I know that all of you are walking ahead with your eyes wide open, always “on.” I’d love to hear about one good guy friend who would come through for you —

Who’s watching out for you?

Photos this afternoon of yours truly, a.k.a., “Single Mom Seeking,” and RJ, a.k.a. “Single Dad“.

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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Leah November 22, 2008 at 10:45 pm

You two are just so absolutely cute together and I sensed a lot of (professional) chemistry ๐Ÿ™‚

Sadly, in answer to the question, I have no man whatsoever to watch my back. Tons of great girlfriends, but, um, no male friends.

It’s been a source of sadness. I hope to manifest one soon, though ๐Ÿ™‚

Leah´s last blog post…A Cornbread Mix Miracle


Legal Editor Mom November 21, 2008 at 9:13 pm

SMS: I will NOT forward my comments to my cousin; his head is big enough already. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But we do try to talk every day or every other day, so he knows how I feel about him. (He also calls me when he and his girlfriend are having problems and I try to help them out.)

I really miss him being around to change lightbulbs for me (I’m short too!) and other household tasks, but fortunately his brothers are all still in the area and come to my rescue when needed.


laurakim November 21, 2008 at 8:46 pm

I have a few guys who I know will have my back if need be!

A friend I studied with – he is like my soul mate in so many ways! We have been friends for 11 years.

And there are a few others who would be there if I asked them to!

laurakim´s last blog post…Saturday Salad


Carolyn November 21, 2008 at 6:00 pm

I have a guy who “has got my back.”
He’s the godfather to my kids, and as complicated as this sounds, he is the ex husband of the woman my ex cheated on me with. That’s right, both our ex’s cheated on us with each other…. and they are still together.
He and his ex wife were the godparents, but I thought that after all that drama, he’s steer clear.
Surprisingly, he’s still active in the kids’ lives, and he even takes me out sometimes to cheer me up when I’m home without the kids.

Carolyn´s last blog post…Hurry Up and Wait


SDMktg November 21, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Sooz, the holidays get easier. Trust me, kids are amazingly resilient and able to adjust to the challenges of life. Moreso than us sometimes I think.

My whole family lives here in San Diego and I have a very supportive girlfriend as well as a couple of close female friends I’ve known for a long time. My boss is also a good friend and he’s very understanding about family issues like days when school is closed and their mom isn’t around.

As far as the video…very cute SMS.

SDMktg´s last blog post…All Summer Long – Warewolves of London


singlemomseeking November 21, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Wanda: “Auntie James.” I LOVE it!

Sooz: Be sure to connect to some single dads on RJ’s site in your neck of the woods… and then report back here!


wandamd November 21, 2008 at 1:51 pm

I have 3 best friends in the world…and one of them is a man. We have known each other since we were in our early 20s (15 years) and he is someone who I can turn to in ANY situation and he will have supportive but honest advice but at the same time will have me laughing. He has the most rediculouly lough cackle-laugh that makes me laugh harder once he gets going. (I mean loud…he startles young children).

His friendship has enriched my life and i can say he is more than a friend…he is family. (He is gay…my daughter calls him Auntie James).


Sooz November 21, 2008 at 1:22 pm

I’m looking forward to the videos and perspective. Found this site looking for some support and human warmth, as I’m facing Single Mom Holiday Anxiety Time. The usual plus a bit extra, what with my child dealing more than ever with the rejection of his father. In happy news, RJ is a cutie and seems to have a good head on his shoulders. I live in San Diego County and thought such men were few and far between…are there any more RJs in Sandy Eggo… or did they break the mold with him? ๐Ÿ˜‰

To answer about having “back”, I do with an ex. He is amazing in that regard. And we are blessed by his friendship.


Susan November 21, 2008 at 12:23 pm

OK, I am seconding everyone who says you guys are cuter than heck together.


singlemomseeking November 21, 2008 at 11:49 am

Hey, single dads in the upper mid-west, let me know if you’re looking for what RJ calls a “gal pal.” MC might need a “guy pal.” Write in here and let us know, ok?

LEM: Wow, you and your daughter are so blessed! I hope you forward your comment to your cousin.

That goes for all of you… let these guys know how much they mean to you!

Avigail: I’m so thrilled that you and your father are re-connecting.

And Eathan, I know that you have at least one woman’s back… literally.


Honey November 21, 2008 at 11:45 am

Lance has my back!

Honey´s last blog post…Confession: I can only get off with my vibrator!


Legal Editor Mom November 21, 2008 at 11:42 am

P.S. I was in a hurry earlier and didn’t get a chance to watch the video, but you guys were adorable. It definitely looks like you had a great time, and I hope there’s more to come from both of you, together.


Eathan November 21, 2008 at 11:18 am

Looks like ya’ll had fun. (ya’ll is a Texas term for the 2 of you)

@lance is always wanting some spicy hot

Since I’m a single dad, I need to check out RJ’s site.

Eathan´s last blog post…Quantum Of Solace – Guest Movie Review


Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) November 21, 2008 at 11:14 am

I do have a guy friend that I call on to vent or share about dates and the like. He also helps with projects that get over my head around the house. So I hope I could count him to “have my back” if that ever came up… Yeah – he would.

Katherine (SOLO dot MOM)´s last blog post…Single Moms and Dating a McDreamy


avigail74 November 21, 2008 at 11:14 am

For the first time, my father. I now listen to him–and now realize that he does, indeed, know a lot–he’s a Professor of Criminalogy and uses his “intuition” well. Other than that–no other man–I do wish I had male friends.


mc November 21, 2008 at 10:56 am

Looks like fun!

Nope. No one’s “got my back” except me. A guy friend sure would be super nice, though!

Anyone potential guy friends available out there in the upper midwest?


GLSD November 21, 2008 at 10:48 am

Rachel, so nice to hear you guys laughing, and how cute is that he helped you zip your zipper :)Too cute! can’t wait to hear or see more about it! good luck! best always!


Andrea November 21, 2008 at 10:41 am

Great job! Can’t wait to see more!

Andrea´s last blog post…Everyone needs a theme song…


Vinnie Sorce November 21, 2008 at 10:37 am

I have somebody who would like to watch my back but can’t at the moment. I have her back though…

Vinnie Sorce´s last blog post…Do You Trust Me?


Amy Nathan November 21, 2008 at 9:53 am

Literally? No one.

Amy Nathan´s last blog post…Vampires and popcorn at midnight, oh my!


Legal Editor Mom November 21, 2008 at 9:31 am

As some of you know, I come from a very large, very close family and it’s mostly males. My cousin Bobby is undoubtedly my best friend and always has my back. We were born 2 months apart and when my mom held us both or his mom held us both, people used to think we were twins. He’s quite good looking and has always been a ladies man. So I acquired a lot of advice about men from him growing up, and he knows probably most or all of my secrets. He has endured every relationship with me, including my disastrous marriage, and he’s always been the first one to check the guy out and offer his two cents (whether I want it or not.) I recall when he once had tickets to a Luther Vandross concert and he called me to go. If you saw this guy, you’d know that he has no trouble getting dates. But he said none of his lady friends were “acting right.” (Yes, he’s a bit full of himself), but I just think it takes the right woman to tame him because he’s actually quite sweet and thoughtful. He’s just been spoiled all his life, by various women, beginning with my aunt.

When I was in undergrad and he was in the Air Force, we used to talk on the phone every night. When he wasn’t dating anyone and still here in Chicago (he now lives in Montana), he took me to his office holiday party and we always used to hang out. He’s always there for me, any time of the day or night, encouraging me and giving advice if/when I need it. And vice-versa for him.

He has 6 brothers and 5 sisters, and he often jokes that they are jealous of our relationship. He says that I’m his best friend, but I often feel like his personal assistant or even wife (without benefits.) I see sides of him that others don’t, and I love him anyway. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s a truly unique but awesome friendship.


singlemomseeking November 21, 2008 at 8:55 am

Lance: Now, what kinds of videos were you hoping for, exactly?

Single Parent Dad: I’m gonna check out your post now, “Who’s going to look out for me?” Who?…

Wow, T, what a great line-up of guys. Good for you.

Kari and Liz: Here’s to boyfriends who didn’t work out! I hear you!


T November 21, 2008 at 8:10 am

I’m jealous of the “gay” hubby… I will admit.

You guys are damn cute. I can’t wait to see all the videos!!

I am so blessed. I have many male friends who have my back.

My ex.
My friend J.
My new FWB.
The guys at work.

Wow. There’s no lack of love in my life!!! (I need to do this sanity check every now and then. Thanks for the reminder.)

I’m glad you had fun with RJ.

T´s last blog post…Love. In spite of.


Paige November 21, 2008 at 7:22 am

Who’s got my back? Well, my gay best friend, of course! There is nothing better than having a gay “hubby” — always attentive, full of honest opinions and you never have to worry about crossing any boundaries or awkward moments.


Kari November 21, 2008 at 5:42 am

I have an old boyfriend who watches my back.

He is there for me for whatever I need and I am there for him as well.

He is a single parent of a highly special needs kiddo and my child has a few special needs of her own so we talk about that kind of stuff all the time. Dating, he’s always asking me about it all everything in my life and he cares I know he does because he does have my back ๐Ÿ˜‰

When my last relationship ended he spent hours on the phone with me, meeting me for lunch… just generally picking me up and dusting me off. If I’m sick he brings mediciine and soup. Without a doubt I know I can call him in the happy times and the not so great times and I’ve got a friend. Everyone should have one! Sure I have loads of girlfriends who have my back too but sometimes you just want/need a male friend to be there for you.

Sounds like you guys had fun even without any hanky panky.

Kari´s last blog post…A night out.


Lance November 21, 2008 at 5:27 am

No hanky panky!?! Arghhh! Next time let’s kick it up a notch!!

Lance´s last blog post…Man Gets Dumped For Being Excellent Boyfriend


SingleParentDad November 21, 2008 at 4:33 am

Who needs whose back watching? I’m available (at the right price!)

Glad you two had a good and productive time. I need to make more time to visit RJ’s website more. And it is time you need as the videos, rather than words, are more difficult to flit around.

SingleParentDad´s last blog post…So, Who Is Going To Look After Me?


liz November 21, 2008 at 4:20 am

First of all — How cute are the two of you?!? Glad y’all had fun!

I do have a great single dad friend who absolutely had my back. At one point I called him Mr. No Chemistry after we’d gone out on a couple dates and it just wasn’t working. But after some time a great friendship has developed.

He’s always the first one to tell me what guys are really thinking – helps me analyze and cut through bs. He listens to me cry and whine and is so supportive. He’s got a date on Saturday night and we’re scheduled for coffee on Sunday so I can get the full report. Just as he does for me!

I am so glad a wonderful friendship has come of those rather awkward dates!

liz´s last blog post…Bad Mama


Kristiina November 21, 2008 at 2:37 am

Short reply to your question – no, unfortunately I do not have a guy friend, over the years I’ve had 3 very good guy friends, but they all ended up wanting more than just friendship with me, which I found a bit strange, I had been friends with them for many years.

As I only wanted to be friends with them, sadly the friendships ended then and there.

Would love to have a guy friend! Why is it so difficult to just be good friends?


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