I became a single mom on Thanksgiving

by singlemomseeking on November 25, 2008

When single dad RJ was visiting, we talked about how blessed we are to have our parents nearby. My relationship with my dad hasn’t always been easy, but thank goodness one of us has grown up. (Just kidding, Dad!)

Over the past five years, my father and I have really learned how to listen to — and respect — each other. Moreover, I’m come to really appreciate my dad. He has always been there for M and me  — through the holidays, and more.

So, when RJ sent me his most recent video interview  — “10 Minutes, 10 Questions with my Dad” — I got inspired.

Some of you might know that I officially became a single mom on Thanksgiving.

As I wrote at BabyCenter — “Thanksgiving as a single parent” — I’d gone alone to my cousin’s home that year, in 2000. Looking back, I knew something was very wrong. We’d been having a rough time together, I’d thought that a couple of days apart would do us good.

He’d brought my baby and me to the train, gave us each a quick peck on the cheek, and stepped away just as the doors were closing. Let’s just say that the next few Thanksgivings weren’t easy. But with every year — thanks to family (thank you cousin Marge!) I’ve learned to truly celebrate.

I was floored by the 80+ comments single parents have left at BabyCenter. Like many of you, here, I’ve also learned to embrace my little family, and feel blessed for my family and friends.

I’m sending really warm vibes to two particular mothers who are spending this Thursday as single moms for the first time:

One mom says this is her first Thanksgiving without her soon-to-be-ex. Another mother says that she lost her husband in July to a rare bone marrow disease.

If this week feels challenging for you, please take it from me: it will get easier. Really.

If you’re without your kids. I encourage you not to be alone on Thursday. Spend the day with friends or family. Or, as another single mom suggests: “Invite other people to share the meal with you.”



In the meantime, I’m working on editing that video of my dad — and I’ve got to let him have a preview!. The actions shots above were shot during the recording! (Yes, you recognize my spirited child in the background.)

Here’s how my Dad answered a few of RJ’s questions:

1. His current hero is Barack Obama.

2. His favorite part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends. (One of his best guy-friends from childhood will be with us — and my step-dad with be with us… long story!)

3. His favorite food is the stuffing. (My sister will be prepping it tomorrow.)

4. If he could grow up again and choose to be another profession… he’d be a scientist and find a cure for an illness.

5. If he could go back and ask him mom to do one thing differently, he would ask her not to give away his kitten when he was away at summer camp.

Wishing you all warmth, relaxation…. and delicious food!

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