A few months ago I put an ad on plentyoffish.com, partially because I was bored and it’s free so it wasn’t going to cost me a thing if nothing happened. I set up the profile and then forgot it was there and never went back to the site. About a month later I got an email from someone on the site who seemed to be a nice guy and in my area (huge bonus), so I thought why not and I wrote him back. We have been seeing each other for about a month now and things are going well so far. Like you, I had never had much luck with the whole online dating thing so I really had not expected anything to come of this either, but it has given me hope that maybe this can actually work. I know quite a few people who have met someone online, one of my best friends is actually getting married next spring to a man she met online.

I made a profile on JDate, but I never made it public or subscribed. There is the one incredibly hot young doctor near me, and I sometimes check to see if he’s still there (he is). Maybe one day (after the divorce is final), I’ll work up my nerve. I’m not even Jewish, but I always seem to be attracted to Jewish men, and I’ve always been interested in the faith… so who knows?

Anyway, you totally should!!!

Carolyn´s last blog post…Stupid Thanksgiving

BTW: Have you been on OKCupid? I’ve enjoyed that site, and it’s free. Lot’s of really interesting people on there. The lengthy matching process weeds out a lot of people.
I met a nice single dad on there and we’ve been hanging out a lot lately. I had a few dates, and met a bunch more guys that I just didn’t have time to go out with before I decided that I needed to stop dating for awhile longer.

It’s worth a search for your area, at least. If you don’t have the time to invest in answering the million of questions, you can just search to a find someone cute and use this link to take a quick quiz to see how well you match up with that one specific user:

http://www.okcupid.com/matchme?u=Username (obviously type their username in there)

Carolyn´s last blog post…Stupid Thanksgiving

It only takes one good match to believe these sites work, right? You’re smart to give it a try. Where I am, the photos are the same as they were when I first logged on over 6 years ago. The 50 year olds look for 30 year olds and the men say they’re handsome and like walks on the beach. I think that for my age (which is older than yours) JDate and the online services - suck!

Give JDate another try, Rachel! Seriously, you know I’ve written about online dating and, while I did not meet my current beau that way, I honestly know several who have either married or been in long-term relationships as a result of their “matches”.

But, to Amy’s point — go in with low expectations and a sense of humor. It’s just another way to meet people, nothing more.

BTW, the title of this post grabbed my attention. The idea of not blogging anymore keeps coming back to me and I’m wrestling with what to do. (But, ironically, not blogging about it.) We’ll see. I’ve lasted a LOT longer blogging than I did breastfeeding, but the good news is that my kids grew up ok! I guess that means whatever I decide I’ll be ok, too.
Susan´s last blog post…Back to a cold reality

I’m not a huge fan of online dating, but I do agree with Amy - even if you have had many bad dates through it, the next one might be great.

I went back on Match not too long ago with low expectations. I signed up specifically for one woman on the site. To my surprise, she wrote me back, we went on a date, and everything is working out amazingly well. Later, I found out that she reads ‘Single Mom Seeking’…

I don’t know what the odds are, but it can work!

Wow, I feel like I found my cheerleaders in all of you. Thanks!

So, instead of diving into Black Friday, I’m browsing Jdate…

Phil: I’m psyched for you! (No wonder we hadn’t heard from you in a while here… just joking!!)

Susan: I’m really enjoying reading about your current relationship. Gives me hope!

I met my girlfriend through Chemistry.com and we’ve been together almost 2 years. I work in an office with just 2 other guys so if I didn’t use online dating I wouldn’t have met anyone. I used to read the match.com profiles just for laughs. “I like sushi, a good bottle/glass of red wine, laughter, and sunsets” - Who doesn’t like to laugh and is it a law in San Diego that you have to like sushi? I always chose the ones that enjoy a bottle vs. a glass…

“On rainy days I enjoy movies on the couch” - Nice to know for the 30 days a year that it rains here.

I could go on and on but it’s all in fun. Enjoy the experience and don’t take it too seriously and good things will come. It’s better than reality TV.

This is such an appropriately timed post for me too, Rachel. I have been thinking about getting a profile back out there too. I didn’t know there were so many online dating sites!! Sheesh!

Yeah, I have no idea when I’ll do it but I’m considering it. We’ll see. But thanks for the encouragement.

And to Susan’s comment, I agree! I have blogged much longer than I breastfed! Ha! And yes, each post seems to take just as long as each feeding…

T´s last blog post…Turkey Day Favorites

I’ve just joined the blogging world writing for http://www.divorcenetwork.com about life after divorce…my blog is called “So Over You” and you may enjoy reading it (it’s new as of last week) My first blog, “This Time We’re Gonna Be Virgins” begins the diary of how I break into my new post-divorce life. Good luck on JDate—not quite sure I am ready for electronic match ups. All the best.
http://www.divorcenetwork.com/profiles/blog/list?user=18w3csbt0xfl9

Veronica Dylan´s last blog post…Veronica Dylan added the blog post ‘NYC Bound…Maybe’

Lance is not a fan of the online dating…I think the odds are that the same percentage of people you meet will be cool (and the same percentage losers) but that since the sheer number of people you meet will be larger, you will meet a larger number of cool people. So for me it’s worth it…especially if you’re willing to really weed unacceptable people out quickly. If you’re too nice to tell someone no, then online dating’s not for you
Honey´s last blog post…Confession: I can only get off with my vibrator!

I met my current boyfriend on Eharmony. POF had too many scary old men on it. Match was like a college meat market. Although he was on Match too and it never matched us LOL. So far so good. I met some guys with red flags jsut about pasted to their foreheads and some nice ones too. I don’t hang at bars and wouldn’t want to seriously date a guy who is always in one anyway. Online worked for us, give it another shot! Nothing to lose!

Wait, Honey, I thought that Lance met his girlfriend online. Yes?

He might not be a fan…. but it has worked out for him, I thought.

Ruth: I hear you about red flags. Fortunately, I’m a pro at spotting them now!

T and Susan: You made me realize that I’ve blogged for as long as I’ve breastfed…

the ex-husband of a friend is on wealthyman.com Boy did we get a chuckle out of that. I think it is rather clear if you are a wealthy man you ae not on that site.

Well my dear, you read my mind. Something about the holidays makes me wanna date, like yesterday!

I am planning on putting this on my budding blog, but for now here are my two cents:

singleparentmeet: lotta wierdos. many men wanting a penpal (screams I’M INCARCERATED!) My last date was with a man who told me he moved back from Japan because “drugs were too expensive there” and referred to Macaroni Grill as “this great little Italian place.” There was also a long diatribe about the mental breakdown of his mute Taiwanese ballerina girlfriend in Turkey. . .um, No thanks

craigslist: gotta separate the wheat from the chaff, but still pretty decent folks. Sadly, most of the men I’ve met there are just lonely and normal guys, but no chemistry! However, I did find a plethora of good FWB candidates and if you’re a woman, the men on there are like lambs to the slaughter. hee hee.

Jdate: I’m not Jewish and not planning on converting, but have a few Jewish friends that swear by the site. Israeli men are pretty f’in hot. . .

Salon.com: These personals are basically defunct, but were my FAVORITE back in the day. Where are the artsy, quirky, adbusters reading men going these days?!!! In my pre-baby days (i.e. 2002), I met a guy on here and we dated for two years. . .almost got married too (I still miss his darling nieces), but I moved to Zimbabwe instead. Go figure.

I am about to try speedating next week. Stay tuned to my blog and I’ll let you know how it works out!

SortaSingleMama´s last blog post…I just can’t do it

SortaSingleMama:

Well, there you go reading MY mind: indeed, the holidaystat give me the urge to dive back in. It’s not loneliness (it used to be!)… maybe it’s that winter chill.

Thanks for all the tips. (My Israeli ex is still on Jdate, he has been on there for 5+ years…)

Let me know about speed dating! I’ve never tried that.

I am just wrapping up a 1 month membership on Match, which I jump on every once in a while when I feel I should be more proactive about finding a suitable companion to share my life with and to grow old with. I only bought 1 month, because I find it to be a huge distraction, and I can only take so much of a “good” thing! My expectations are very low, and although I have not met my soul mate yet, I have met some nice ladies, and I believe the only way any of us will find someone is if we put ourselves out there and take chances. Internet dating is simply another way to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t have the opportunity to meet… and if you think internet dating will instantly & magically deliver the man or woman of your dreams surely you will be disappointed. Of course many people meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after who meet on the internet… so the fairy tale ending is not completely out of the questions for those searching for love online. I have never tried Jdate, but my cousin met and married her husband on Jdate and a lady who I have become very good friends with, who I met on Match, has a girlfriend who has married two guys she met on Jdate (the first one died). Seize the day and just do it!

I tried Match.com for a few years….found 2 guys worth dating for a while, but most of the men on the site were the same perennially-online obvious losers.

The guys I dated lied about their age (5-10 years), their weight (30 lb), their education and their income–apparently this is common?

The worst thing however was that they (& other guys I just emailed with) were nice but so socially inept and isolated. Now, I’ve always considered myself kind of shy and nerdy, but wow, these men were way worse than that. They had absolutely no social life, they were distant from their family (even their own kids), and they weren’t really comfortable having a conversation, meeting up with people socially, or doing anything except for watching TV.

Could be just my part of the country, but I’m thinking that a guy who goes online probably has no social skills. Which I want!

Thanks for putting it out there that you are getting back into online dating. I am sort of halfheartedly giving it a try.

Weirdly enough, I recently got back onto to JDate after a year’s hiatus and could NOT for the life of me log on, nor could customer service figure out the problem. I figured it was not meant to be for me to be on there at that time!

Match.com has been pretty awful - none of the guys I contacted returned my emails and 99.9 of those who contacted me were downright SCARY!

I don’t want to be too negative about it, though, as there are clearly some people who have been successful with it — and I’m a romantic at heart, so I’ll never stop hoping.

Leah´s last blog post…Fragile

There does seem to be a HUGE selection of dating sites!

I am, done though with online dating. Its been a pretty crappy 3 years with it - it did give me loads to blog about though

Good luck though!!!

laurakim´s last blog post…Today was a GOOD day

Here are a few more online options for those inclined toward the extremes:
Millionairematch.com
Sugardaddy.com
Sugardaddie.com
Meet-an-inmate.com
MC, perhaps the lonely inmates will make the socially inept, un-incarcerated guys you meet online seems like hip, together, great guys… and not really losers at all!

I cannot believe how perfect this post is, as I just cancelled my Match acct. this morning! Granted, it had only been three months. But I had the same exact experience as Leah! One or two guys every few weeks that I would be somewhat interested in, I would email-nothing. And the guys who would email me were SCARY. I’m now trying POF because it’s all the same stuff, but it’s free. I don’t need to pay someone to be horrified!

I am breastfeeding . . .and have to break away to blog! This makes me giggle, SMS.

As for the online dating thing - good luck! And I’m curious to see where you find success . . . someday I will date again . . .

BlueBella´s last blog post…Again With The Doctors

Jim: Meet-an-inmate.com? Are you serious?

Alicia: I’m blown away that men whom you emailed…. didn’t reply. Really?

I’m all about being proactive. That means searching through the profiles, rather than waiting for men to contact you first.

LauraKim: Three years online? You deserve a medal.

Jim AKA: Oh, right! You’re saying I should settle for a potted-plant BF because all the other guys out there are felons? LOL!

I agree with singlemomseeking, searching through the profiles yourself gets you the best prospects. I think the auto-engines’ awful picks are driven by the site’s need to generate some heat for the super losers on the site that no one would ever contact on their own.

I’ve done match.com. I actually have met some guys that I dated for a few months. BUT the most recent that I dated for two months turned out to be married. Seemed like he was too good to be true. That should have been my first clue. Seemed perfect in every way. Talked about getting married after 6 weeks. I feel like such a moron because usually I am really good about seeing this coming, but I was totally blindsided. He said all the right things. When we would go out to dinner with my friends, he would pick up the entire tab. My friends thought he was great. I had my reservations and I told him that I had these reservations, but everything he said make it seem right. When I would say something about it being too soon to talk marriage, he would say “but doesnt it feel so right”. And the truth of the matter is it did. As crazy as that sounds.

And I checked him out. I did everything that I could to make sure he was on the up and up. I was able to verify everything that he fed me, except for the divorce. When I finally felt like something was up, I checked public records looking for his divorce. Of course, there was no one on the record.

And I made the cardinal single mother mistake !! I let my son meet him after 6 weeks. I ended it with him after 8. I feel like such a sucker. I just need to remember, if it is too good to be true, it probably is !”

Match.com and all of those other ones are great for meeting people, BUT I have learned you have to be careful. As much as everything I put on my profile was 100% true, not everyone is truthful.

Eharmony, I think is probably a good one too, BUT I don’t use it. I completed my profile, which took FOREVER to complete. Then at the end, it said searching thousands of other profiles to find your match. Then I got a message that said “at this time, there are no matches”. Kind of a little depressing that no one matches you. Oh well…. I am not back to being single and loving it !!!

Single Mom´s last blog post…Extra Money for Christmas !!!

I online dated for years, and while I met plenty of women, only one became a girlfriend. By far, most of the women I ended up dating seriously were women I met in real life - through friends, at professional offices (doctor, insurance), at bars (no, not pick-up bars)

But if you need a tool for meeting people, and have the time to pour through profiles, online dating is fine. Have fun with it!

dadshouse´s last blog post…Favorite Pumpkin Pie Recipes

Well, I only breastfed for about a day (it REALLY HURT. I swear I took a class and the hospital nurse tried to help and everything, but nothing helped and I just couldn’t take it anymore. Thank God the hospital sent some bottles home with me just in case), but I can see how it’s like blogging. To me, blogging is about getting it all out. I have become so used to it, my brain gets filled up with thoughts I want to share and I feel much better when I’ve typed it all out. Kind of like when you get that build up of milk!

As for online dating, I am on several sites and have had no luck. I either get no contacts at all, or the guys who do email me are over-eager, wanting to talk on the phone, IM or even meet right away. I’d much rather take it slow… email for a little bit, then maybe a chat on the phone and then if that goes well, we can meet. These guys are always in a big hurry, and to me that usually means they just want to jump in the sack. When I try to slow things down a little, they just stop contacting me altogether.

That’s not to say don’t do it though, Rachel. You might have better luck than I have. I know a lot of people have met the love of their life on dating sites. Good luck!

Kelly´s last blog post…Sunday

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