Awesome !!! Cant wait to see the videos…

Personally I would prefer to date someone who does not have a child. I know that sounds so biased, especially since I have a child, but it is just my preference. That being said, I do date dads. I dont decline a date simply because they have a child. Actually my dates the last couple of years have been with dads.

I would like to know a single dad’s view of single moms- do they really think all of us single moms are waiting to be “rescued” and our only agenda is to be married ? Personally that could not be further from the truth in my situation. Yes, I would love to eventually get married, but not really what I am looking for now. I could have been married by now, but I want a wonderful happy marriage and a great husband, not just a marriage certificate and a so-so husband.

Single Mom´s last blog post…Extra Money for Christmas !!!

Whoot! Yea you two =) ..errr, I mean professionally cheering here *wink*

When I had small kids, I’d only date “Dads” … kidless men just “don’t get it”.

Now that my kids are young adults, I prefer men without “dependents”. Grown kids or no kids now work best foe me =)

Nancy´s last blog post…Looks as Good as it Tastes!

I think I prefer to date dads because they understand my priorities better. But here is my question: do single dads prefer to date women with similarly aged kids? I have found that some single dads with teenagers are not interested in seriously dating a woman with a preschooler. They don’t want to marry a woman with a young child and “start over” parenting a little kid. Is that a widespread feeling, or have I just had bad luck?

Tracey´s last blog post…It Was Bound To Happen

I prefer to date dads because they usually know what they are getting into. They understand the priorities of a single parent.

Good luck with the videos! He IS adorable!

I prefer to date dads…if I had a choice. They know I cannot be available on a whim, know that dates must be scheduled, understand the kids come first, and have already been “tested” as dad material. However, my kids are 5 & 8 — I may think differently in 10 years like Nancy!

I want to know if dads look differently at moms who are single by choice and were never married. This is a weird conversation with many guys, they don’t understand at first why there is not ex-husband and I feel they look down a little on me after that is said. Am I being hyper-sensitive, or do they really feel differently?

Nancy: that’s such a great point about your kids’ ages. Very perceptive!

When I had a wee-little one, I found myself dating men without kids… Perhaps because I was open to having another one.

Now, as Angie points out, I’m only drawn to men with kids. Yes, they “get it.”

Anyone else want to chime in about how your kids’ ages might play a role about the kind of person you’re drawn to?

Angie, re: “no ex-husband” and feeling like “they look down a little on me”… I used to feel that way, too.

Yes, people often want to know why you never got married. Without telling your life story on a first date, you might keep your version simple and short.

Actually, I’ve found that many men seemed relieved when the learn there isn’t an ex in the picture. Although it can be challenging to carve out time to date — because I don’t have shared custody — there’s no drama or conflicting schedules!

Anyone else want to comment on this one?

I used to prefer to date men with no kids, until I had my own. Now I’m just the opposite, for all the reasons Angie states. Men without kids generally just don’t get it! And as Angie/Nancy, stated, when my preschooler is older, I will probably prefer a man with older kids or none at all. Then we can devote more time to each other…

I have a good handle on what type of mate I’d want if I got married again, but we can always learn from each other and these videos sound so interesting. I’m looking forward to them; thank you both. (And he definitely is adorable.)

I always love to hear about wonderful dads who are committed to their children. Hey, maybe RJ can write up something on this and I can send it to my ex? LOL.

This is a touchy subject, just cause my daughter’s father left me for another single mom (so obviously HE didn’t have a problem with it).

I would have no problem dating someone with kids, unless HIS KIDS WERE MY AGE! Thats a little too sitcom for me.

pisceshanna´s last blog post…Kabbalah, Ellen & White Bug

I am a single mom by choice, and have never been married.

I have found guys to be generally happy that there is no ex drama to contend with. But, scheduling time is hard with no shared custody. On the whole, I have gotten positive responses to doing this completely on my own.

But, I know some other single moms who have said that the positive reaction I get may be related to the fact that I adopted my daughter, because they feel more judged for having given birth single. i don’t know if that is true, or just their perception.

Tracey´s last blog post…It Was Bound To Happen

By the way, when the heck are you going to tell us your secret? Tease!

Kelly: I vow to tell the Secret on Monday, Nov. 24! (Can you wait?)

PiscesHanna: You crack me up!

“I would have no problem dating someone with kids, unless HIS KIDS WERE MY AGE! That’s a little too sitcom for me.”

(Although, seriously, I’ve had that conflict with my own father, who has dated women my age… Dad!)

Yay for videos!!!

Well, after dating (or whatever you want to call it) Soldier, who was only married once and for a very short time, it would be nice to know that the next guy knows what it takes to have a long term relationship. Whether or not he has kids? Hmmm… it would be crazy if he had 3 or more. If he had two, plus my two, that’s not too bad. I don’t think it’d be too bad if his kids were the same ages. Instant friends, right? Even if they were older, instant babysitter, right?

Also, it would be nice to have a man that understood that my kids and I still have a good relationship with their father. Soldier seemed bothered by that. He wanted to be “instant hero” instead of sharing the spotlight with their real daddy. I would prefer if the man had a decent relationship with his ex too, if he had kids.

Gosh, quite a bit to think about!!

My only concern would be how to blend those two families. He’s always going to be partial to his kids and I’ll always be partial to mine, right? Very complex stuff!

T´s last blog post…Spirituality behind the sex

Another single mom by choice through adoption here…

I know this is completely hypocritical but I prefer a man with no children, although I would not completely rule him out if he did have children. I think it has more to do with with the whole “baby mama drama” thing than the actual kids though…

I have also found that some guys seem to admire the fact that I adopted and find it more appealing that they don’t have to “compete” because my kids don’t have a daddy…

On the topic of what I would like you guys to discuss is:

1. How do you know it’s time to introduce your kids to someone you are dating?

I am so cautious about this now after my kids were heartbroken by the ex….but I know it’s very unrealistic to keep my kids from meeting him for too long, it’s just impractical especially when you don’t have a shared custody arrangement…

2. How do you deal with jealous kids?

I think my oldest son would marry me if he could..lol He DOES NOT ever wnat to share his mama WITH ANYONE including his brother…

3. I would also love if you guys did something about avenues of meeting people to date as a single parent…(Online, church, clubs, singles events, newspaper ads, cruises, or travel trips etc..)

Mommy to the Monsters´s last blog post…Rugrats - All Growed Up

Personally, I prefer a man to date without kids. I won’t rule one out with kids though. I think Nancy has it right for me. When the kiddo was little I sought out men with kids. Now that she’s almost a teen well I want a man who is unattached in anyway. Also, I have never ever been first in anyone’s life that I have been involved in romantically… call it selfish, but I’d like that for once. Right now I’m roped in by a younger man with no kids, no previous marriage. I’m such a cougar
Kari´s last blog post…A night out.

Whoa…now you’ve got me thinking. I’ve known something was off kilter for quite a while….hmm…. I am a single mom. Here is my dilemma.

My oldest child died four years ago today. So, a man with no kids would not have an inkling of a clue. Probably would want me to just “be over it.”

And a man with children? How couId I truly empathize with his his innocuous ramblings of his child’s escapades?

So, I sit here alone for now…waiting for the answer. In no particular hurry, just being in this time and space.

won´s last blog post…This is where it gets ugly

My only concern with dating women with children has been teenagers because my kids are young (1st grade now) and I didn’t want any conflict with older kids.

My girlfriend doesn’t have any kids and hasn’t been married and it is a real struggle for me to balance out putting my kids and her first. I give all I have all the time. My kids are very accepting and love spending time with her.

SDMktg´s last blog post…Vote Early and Often

I have to agree with Angie. I have experienced too many men without children who seem to think that I should be available at their whim and just don’t get the idea that the kids will ALWAYS come first. I also agree that men sometimes have a negative reaction when they find out there is no ex husband out there.

I have dated both and totally prefer men without kids. They can be more flexible when can’t, and foe me my one kid is enough that I don’t want the drama of more and the multiple sibling thing.

I also want it to be about me..oh I mean us when I am with him…not about his kid.

Perhaps you could video foot fetish/shoes/pedicures

Men with kids seem to understand better how it feels to love someone unconditionally, and so much that it hurts. I’d like to be selfish and find a man with no kids, but a man with kids is just more practical.

I was married but have heard from single moms with no ex-husbands that men do seem to judge them differently when they find out they’ve never been married.

For topics, how about:

Date disasters?

What NOT to do when you’re trying to impress a potential mate?

Pointers on why it’s good not to waste someone’s time if you aren’t really interested?

Honesty 101 for Men?

Don’t Mess With My Kids If You’re Not Going to Be Around!

Yum - lucky girl!

I like dating single dads because they get my need to prioritize my kid.

GG´s last blog post…Orgasm Therapy

Wow! Have a great time! Can’t wait to see the vlogs!

Andrea´s last blog post…Have you read these?

Well…I have to comment, cuz I dated this adorable guy for a while a couple of years ago!!! That’s right!!

Here’s what I have to say about Mr. RJ!

When I met him I was a successful exec making the big bucks, traveling all the time and a CRAPPY mother. He taught my kids to love salad and how we could make preparing dinner together fun!

He opened my eyes to what real parenting was all about. I ultimately quit my big job and became a great Mom (still working on that every day actually). He’s a huge romantic and a wonderful friend now. My life is certainly interesting as I re-invent myself around what’s REALLY important!

Thank God he entered my scene and called me on my crap! Today I really know my three adorable kids. He’s a great guy! And that face of his, I love that face! So create some great stuff, you’ve got an interesting Leo heading your way! I can’t wait to see the videos!

As for your question, I prefer men with kids but to be honest, blending families is huge issue that isn’t for everyone. Something big to consider.

So sweet Kathy!!

Jeesh, I’ll have to ask RJ what the secret is to getting your kid to love salad. Mine still won’t touch lettuce.

Of course, inquiring minds want to know… why didn’t you and RJ work out?

Thanks for the great comment!

I have a hard time having dated both and I am considered a young mom (32) here in a big city.

The single dad’s whom I have dated are all over 40 and very set in their ways. The guys without kids near my age have little sense of real responsibility and family.

I have an eight year old with special needs. And I don’t want to have more kids. I would be thrilled to have a blended family as long as the guy was open to loving mine. I work with kids and so it is easy for me to love someone else’s.

But my question to single dads and single guys:

Would date a single mom that has a child with special needs?

If that testimonial from Kathy, RJ’s ex, wasn’t awesome, I don’t know what is.

Not only is he good to his own kids, but we now know that he is/was great with someone else’s. And SMS, while I’d love for Mini Me to eat salad, I’d love for her to have CONSISTENT quality time with her father even more…

Now I’m serious. RJ absolutely MUST address all the deadbeat dads (parents) out there! Slap them into reality!

RJ, I will pay your airfare if you’ll consider flying to Chicago. I will drive you to my ex’s doorstep!

Ok, maybe just make video on the “deadbeat subject” and we’ll mail it to him anonymously, in a plain brown wrapper?

I know you can’t make someone be what he’s/she’s not, but a child DESERVES both parents whenever possible. (It’s totally different if the children are adopted or the other parent is deceased.) But to live nearby and not be a part of your child’s life (by choice) is simply ridiculous.

I feel better that I got all that out; I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Oh boy…well I will always have a place in my heart for Mr. Jaramillo!

He is a TRUE Leo! There is just nothing that Boy can’t do - I wathched him lead 70 loan officers through this huge crisis and be a true leader which meant forcing people to move when they were stunned. Awesome to see!

Now, as for RJ and I, well I too have often been a leader in my life so learning to stand down is tough for me. Even when it’s the right thing to do. I have my own insecurities around needing to feel like the center of someone’s universe! RJ would often say to me, “Kathy, find your confidence”. That’s not as easy as it sounds. Neithor one of us belonged in a committed relationship, between us there were six kids that needed much of our attention and lots of insecurities to address. It just wasn’t the right match. He wil always be a good friend, someone I call when I need a kick in the pants or a shoulder to cry on…Be good to that boy Rachel!

I’d like to know how RJ was raised and how he got his values. A lot of times it is hard to put family before work and many workplaces do not support that. The question that always comes up is “why can’t mom take care of them?” “They’re my kids, what difference does that make?” is my answer. It’s not always easy but I always think of them first.

I was raised by a single mom and saw my dad a few times a year. He lived 5 miles away. She showed me the importance of consistency and putting other people first.

I applaud all dads that make the effort married or not.

SDMktg´s last blog post…Vote Early and Often

I just got off the phone with Rachel and Kathy… this is getting a little bit out crazy for me, (over 100 e-mails this morning) and I just want to be fair to everyone and say…

Wow, I am scared to death of tomorrow and I do not know what I am getting myself into?

Legal Editor Mom, I can make that trip for you and let your ex know that all roads lead to our childrens’ futures and how they remember us will last our lifetime…something he has to live with, not you. Stay strong and try to stay “neutral” when the questions are asked about him from your children. It’s easy to “bash” but the joy is temporary and you need to stay “classy and sassy”…

About My Parents:
I was blessed by strong, proud, and loud parents. My mother was the beautiful, intelligent, strong and loud one. At 4′10″ she was the epitome of leadership and hard work. I love my mother very much and growing up, she encouraged me to dream big and never give up on my passions. There is a mix of Spanish, Italian and Mexican in our family and so there is a lot of physical and emotional love in our family as I was growing up. My mother never made me feel poor or disadvantaged and I truly respect her for giving so much love in hard times. My mother taught me how to cook and it is my weekly goal to call her and impress her with my latest creations in my kitchen. she makes me laugh, she keeps me humble.

My father worked 6 days a week, but never missed a dinner as we all sat at the table together for our meals; something I still do today with my three children when they are with me. My father is quiet, calm, proud and handsome. He never missed the opportunity to see me in my school activities and I could always see him and my mother at every baseball, soccer and tennis event that was important.

My Dad and I still kiss and hug when we greet each other and it is a custom that I still practice with my son and family. My Dad and I have had several conversations about growing up and how he feels that he missed some of my years. I always remind him that he was with me in every step of my life, because he sacrifice so much for me to go to college and live the life he wanted me to have. I am grateful that my parents are still alive and have been married for over 47 loving years.. They are my inspiration and they give me hope.

I know I am not perfect, but I am aware of that fact. I have made mistakes and I have hurt people in and sought them out to apologize for my actions to them face to face.

I truly believe that there is something good that will come out of tomorrow and that we can all help each other understand what it’s like in “our single parent” world.

I am looking forward to a few laughs and some great material to share on what matters most to our readers.

I prefer dating men with kids as well… but one kid or two might be the max… because of the “blending families syndrome”. Looking forward to those videos!!!
Katherine (SOLO dot MOM)´s last blog post…Celebrating Christmas as a Single Parent

Well - I’m so looking forward to the videos . . .and wouldn’t blame you for making some that were more NC17+
I’m somewhat in agreement with the no ex situation and getting looked down upon while also finding relief there isn’t that contention, but what about us mothers that have children from more than one father? Though I haven’t dated under this circumstance yet, if I didn’t get looked down upon before, I am certain I will now because of having 3 kids by two fathers, neither of whom I married. Of course this may just be a great weeding out process for potential mates . . . thoughts?

BlueBella´s last blog post…Brain Food

Chiming in here. I once dated someone who had a teenage daughter, but I think as Tracey posted, he was one of those guys who was not so interested in dating someone with a little kid. He seemed to prefer to date unattached women.

I have also dated non dads, and that also had its issues, as covered above. Now I would like to try dating someone whose child is close in age to mine. How much fun it would be for each of our kids to have a playmate, and for us each to have a playmate

Anyway, RJ and Rachel…can’t wait to see your vlogs! I guess a question I have is: what is your secret to balancing dating and parenthood? That is one I am personally always needing ideas on.

Leah´s last blog post…Who needs discipline?

Swappy Swap Time!

justagirl´s last blog post…Lets Get Our SWAPFEST ON!

RJ,
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I only “bash” here and occasionally to loved ones when my daughter isn’t around, but never ever to her. She adores her father and I would never do anything to compromise that, because she will see it all on her own as she gets older. But even then, I will encourage her to talk to him directly about it, since only he can answer for his actions. It just blows my mind how any parent can turn away from his/her own flesh and blood and not look back. (He has been in and out of her life since birth, but never the constant that she deserves.)But I’m a leo, too, so you know I’m very strong.

Rachel and I have very similar situations, dealing with exes with addictions, but we’re both blessed to have beautiful daughters who are the joy of our lives. All else is secondary…

But enough about my drama. You have a very admirable upbringing and it was evident in how you conduct yourself as an adult.

Have fun with Rachel, and don’t feel at all pressured. You both have so may fans that you could BOMB in the videos and still get rave reviews!
LEM

I hope I was able to shed some light on my upbringing to SDMktg.. and I would be interested to hear his observations after our day tomorrow… Oh Rach, what will the world be like after tomorrow?

I am scrambling getting my house cleaned (why? because I had 6 straight days with kids) and packing some wardrobe for the shoot..

Thank you LEM for the kind words and support. All things work out in the end… and just because they are not working out; it just means you are not at the END yet!

Funny…I think you got mixed up for a second there. I’m actually a single dad in San Diego. I have my kids 4 days a week and they’re with their mom the other 3. That’s why I asked.

Sometimes it’s hard to make the commitment (like baking 2 birthday cakes the weekend before a huge trade show) but it’s worth it to see how much it means to my twins. It’s nice to see other committed dads even if it’s only online. Have a great trip.

SDMktg´s last blog post…Thanksgiving Treat or Nightmare? Turducken

[...] “hot single dad” — RJ, founder of SingleDad.com — is landing at the airport in just an hour, and I’ve still got a sink full of dirty dishes… [...]

Awesome! Please tell me the two of you are going to get it on. I’m putting twenty bucks on it right now…

Lance´s last blog post…Confession: I can only get off with my vibrator!

[...] was quite a build up, but at last I got to meet single dad, RJ — founder of SingleDad.com — in the [...]

Wow, after going through all of these posts (and reading about how adorable RJ is), I want to add my two cents here. First, RJ really is great. He’s an amazing father, son and friend. He genuinely loves, and he loves what he’s doing. I’m truly honored to share in his vision at SingleDad.com.

As for whether or not single Dads like dating single moms or single women, it really depends on the woman. I believe in love above all else, and if I’m able to find another woman who can love me and my sons, it honestly wouldn’t matter whether she had children or not. That also goes for women who have never married and have children. I wouldn’t be intimidated or judgmental in either case. I’d simply want to make sure that when you look in my eyes and I look in yours, we both know that nothing in this world can pull us apart. If we can share that look, that understanding, does anything else matter? I don’t think it would. But you have to come to that place and make that connection, and you have to want it. Just my two cents…

[...] single dad RJ was visiting, we talked about how blessed we are to have our parents nearby. My relationship with my [...]

[...] is what RJ — founder of SingleDad.com — and I discuss on our new video, “How do you introduce your child to your new [...]

[...] If you haven’t watched the video with Single Dad RJ about when to introduce your child to your girlfriend or boyfriend, please watch it below. Let us [...]

First I’d like to say that I always wanted children. I had good parents but I always thought I could do better with my own children and inspire them and motivate them rather than heap guilt on them for failing to meet my expectations. Having said that I should also mention that I have custody of my son and I am very thankful… my ex didn’t want children but didn’t understand the concept of birth control so my son was born 9 months after we were married. And he is a blast. She ultimately left for a trailer park relationship and I was left being the responsible parent. I was pretty miserable. Here I had thought I wanted this relationship to work out but I was the only one. Then a met a friend. Her name is Angel and she now has three children from three different fathers and the relationships are not functional even now. But she has been kind to me and I adore her children - I even helped her through her last pregnancy. To me, children from other men are not an issue… I can be a good mentor and role model and don’t have to be a new daddy. I acknowledge they have other fathers but while I’m around I want to help the kids establish good values, with their mother, that they can carry with them through their lives. This is something I hope to do for Angel and her children. She’s just starting to warm up to me by letting me a little bit further into her life.

[...] most recent visitor was RJ, founder of SingleDad.com. As fate would have it, we even made a video to try to answer one of this “mystery single [...]