The ex and I had dinner

by singlemomseeking on October 21, 2008

If you’ve read Adam’s blog, then you know his side of the story: after no contact for years, I agreed to meet him.

“We sat, we talked, I was obviously emotional,” Adam described that first coffee date. “I was happy, she was skeptical, I smiled, she laughed, we hugged, and we parted. God, someone get me a cigarette!”

No, he’s not an addict.

Yes, he’s just out of an emotionally abusive relationship.

No, he’s not a stalker.

Yes, he’s a little boy, hidden inside a tough macho shell.

~~~

At the restaurant on Friday, he pulled his chair to turn towards me. “I want to face you.”

And he really did. He looked at me, that way, and I couldn’t look away.

But let me stop here and be very clear with all you:

I know the kind of relationship I deserve to be in. Finally, I know.

I’m in such a good place right now — thanks, in part, to all of you here. The door will open when I meet that open, honest, respectful, intelligent, reliable, present, good-looking man.

Is it Adam? I don’t know.

~~~

It was really fun to tease him at dinner. When the waiter came up for our order, Adam explained that he didn’t eat dairy, red meat or pork.

“I’m really sorry,” I told the waiter. “I hadn’t realized that my date was so difficult–”

The guys laughed.

You’d be amazed how many times that you — my readers — came up during our dinner.

He pointed out, for example, that many of you are so protective of me.  (So true!)

He asked about a couple of male readers, too.

Him: “So, who’s Phil?”

Me: “Phil?”

Him: “Yeah, Phil from your blog. He doesn’t like me–”

Me: “Oh, Phil. He’s a dad who comments on my blog. He lives nearby, we had dinner last month–”

Him: “He took you out to dinner?”

Adam kept asking me questions, encouraging me to talk. But every 10 minutes, I caught myself, open. He was looking at me. That way. I shut the door.

This time, for the record, he only cried a few times. Mostly when he talked about his daughters.

More than once, he paused and said, “I just want to be with someone who loves me as I am.”

(Me, too. Isn’t that what everyone wants?)

~~~

Outside the restaurant, we walked.

I was hurt once before by you,” I said. “You need to be honest with me.”

“I will,” he said, stopping. Then he held my face. “And you need to be honest with me.”

“I will,” I said.

Then he drove me home. We stood next to his car and held each other. I could have stood there all night.

But I went inside. Alone. I couldn’t sleep.

And I decided this: I want my blog back.

I also want to see where Adam and I might go, offline.

And I want to know, from all of you:

What if I stop blogging about him/us, for now?

Will anyone protest if I ask him to take a leave of absence from the blog?

~~~

Photo of yours truly, here I come world… I’m open

Related Articles:

Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.

{ 3 trackbacks }

Lost and vulnerable | Single Mom Seeking...
October 30, 2008 at 11:11 am
Men and their dogs, Part I | Single Mom Seeking...
November 7, 2008 at 6:02 am
Friendship with the ex: it’s not working | Single Mom Seeking...
November 12, 2008 at 12:51 pm

{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: