Tracking down my UPS man, part V

by singlemomseeking on September 16, 2008

Part V?

I know what you’re thinking: C’mon Rachel, haven’t we heard enough about the UPS man? You’re really milking it now.

But I never got to the moral of the story, did I?

I haven’t sent my book to my former UPS man. Yet. But he did leave a message for me not long after I got back from NYC.

“I’ve got a situation,” he said on my voice mail. “Call me back.”

Dang, I thought. He has found my blog. I’m done.

This isn’t impossible, either. I just Googled “UPS man” — and my thoughts about him come up on the first page.

I him called right back. I could hear him shuffling packages in his truck.

“Is everything okay?” I said.

“No,” he said.

“No?” I held my breath.

“I miss your lips,” he said.

I burst out laughing. Then I said: “How’s your young lady friend?”

Silence.

Clearly, the moral of the story is: sometimes fantasy doesn’t meet reality.

Thanks to all of you who pointed this out to me — you’re on the ball. (Yes, another moral might be don’t mix business with pleasure.)

Surely, you’ve experienced this fantasy vs. reality dilemma. Maybe you worked yourself up before a first date — imagining how you’ll click — and five minutes into dinner, everything fell flat?

So, what’s the secret to staying grounded when you have a crush on someone?

P.S. Thanks to Amy Nathan, who suggested that I might keep my eyes on the Fed Ex man…. Hmmm.

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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Legal Editor Mom September 16, 2008 at 4:35 pm

Ok, I opened your blog, saw the heading and thought the webmaster had made a mistake. LOL. Until I saw the “part V” part.

First of all, I think he’s a cat & mouse kind of guy. You know, the one who enjoys the thrill of the chase moreso than the catch itself. Second, he’s obviously a big flirt, a charmer, and still interested because he didn’t “conquer” when you got together in NY. (Please know that I’m not taking anything away from you because you are fabulous and you have a lot to offer a guy.)But you know me rather well; I call a spade a spade.

You’re wise enough to know that there is very little to no relationship potential with this guy. Continuing to communicate with him is ok, but only when you have time to kill and have absolutely nothing else to do. But don’t get sucked in or allow him to mislead or deceive you. He was rude and inconsiderate, so IMO, he’s really not worth your time. If you really still have a crush on him and really need to stay grounded, just remind yourself what happened on your date.

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liz September 16, 2008 at 5:16 pm

If you figure out the secret to staying grounded when you have a crush…please let me know. I am horrible HORRIBLE at it.

lizs last blog post..Bedtime: The Bain of my Existence

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Lance September 16, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Whoa whoa whoa. What happened after you asked him about the lady friend? He MUST have had some kind of response, a witty reply, a riposte, an entendre, something. I mean seriously, no guy has game that bad, do they?

Lances last blog post..Natalie Dylan: Brilliant Capitalist or Expensive Skank Ho?

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Jennifer September 16, 2008 at 6:37 pm

I just busted out laughing at the ‘silence’ part! lol What a slowhead.

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Andrea September 16, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Dang! I can’t believe he’s still trying to deliver you the goods!

Andreas last blog post..Meme Time…Formerly Meme Monday…

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Amy Nathan September 16, 2008 at 7:07 pm

Rachel you do crack me up! My belief is the best dates are the ones you don’t expect to be, and definitely the ones you don’t buy a new outfit for. Those are the ones that get canceled!!! xo

Amy Nathans last blog post..Jumbo shrimp

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T September 16, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Expectations are the hardest things to let go of, aren’t they? The worst is when I was online dating. We’d hit it off over email and phone only to find that the photo they posted was 15 years old and there is no physical attraction whatsoever.

Fantasy is good sometimes. But we just have to be aware of it, don’t we?

Well, at least now he’s fantasizing about you!!!

Ts last blog post..Your love got me lookin’ so crazy right now

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Crazy Computer Dad September 16, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Fantasy is behind the saying “the grass is always greener,” and “two in the hand is worth one in the bush.” You get a brief look at something and you begin to imagine all kinds of things. This is true of jobs, affairs, etc. It is all exciting at first, but then reality comes flooding back and you realize that it wasn’t any better than what you had…or it is worse. Sometimes it is serendipitous, but not all that often.

The whole fantasy issue becomes worse when we are depressed, feeling a bit empty in the self esteem department, etc. We then find ourselves yearning much more and really going overboard fantasizing about people, buying things, and more.

Sometimes we meet people and there is such a strong connection or spark that goes way beyond and much deeper than simple physical attraction or passing enjoyment. It doesn’t happen often. When it hasn’t happened in a while some of us try to force it, or don’t trust ourselves if we feel it.

At least you knew enough at that moment back in New York that the fantasy you built didn’t match the reality. What you decided to do after that and now is entirely up to you, but at least it will be based on realistic expectations.

As far as staying grounded when you have a crush on someone? Why? What is the fun in that? :-)

Crazy Computer Dads last blog post..half full or half empty

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Kat Wilder September 16, 2008 at 9:28 pm

I love fantasies; a lot of my day is spent creating them. Most of the time, I never act on them. They just never match up to what’s in my head! Having crushes and flirting and fantasizing are wonderful gems we can tuck into our pocket and say smugly to ourselves, “Yeah, I’ve got that.”

Making them into something real, and hoping that reality will be something that will really work in our lives — and our work and our kids, etc. — becomes tricky.

Staying grounded is good for sniffing out who’s a good partner for us and who’s a person to relish for sensual and/or intellectual things. But once you find the person who’s the good partner, shoot, why stay grounded?

Kat Wilders last blog post..The Multiple Mrs.

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judy September 16, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Some of the brightest, most successful, greatest mothers, have asked the same question…including me who still goes under every time.

What has helped me is my new 28 year old female friend. She has the same male strife as me..or at least close enough, yet she looks to me for advice as her wiser, older friend. Boy isn’t it always easier to see when it is someone else.

Get real and say, “if my friend came to me with this story what would I say?’

sometimes it helps, sometimes not.

However, I do know that I love being in love and for lack of the real thing here, I will purposefully be in loving crush to fill that need….It’s fine if you know that is what you are doing

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singlemomseeking September 16, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Lance, re: “What happened after you asked him about the lady friend?”

He asked, “Are you mad at me?”

Who me, mad?…

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singlemomseeking September 16, 2008 at 9:57 pm

LEM: Oh no, my crush on him has faded, disappeared… died a slow death.

But I know — like many of you here — that I do develop crushes easily, and often blow them out of proportion.

Sorry that wasn’t clear. I’m just trying to watch my back for next time. I hope–

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dadshouse September 17, 2008 at 7:02 am

The UPS guy is definitely a guy.

I’m still chuckling.

dadshouses last blog post..I Can’t BS My Kids Anymore

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Kitkat4real aka SOLO dot MOM September 17, 2008 at 7:34 am

The crush has faded…. for you, but has it died completely for him? Now he may pursue you even more… to know it’s a new challenge!

Otherwise, we await the next series of blog posts of the new crush… is he the FedEx man?

Kitkat4real aka SOLO dot MOMs last blog post..Single Parents, We Will Survive

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Lance September 17, 2008 at 8:42 am

@SMS: I’m still shocked at this guy. Even if I had made such a bad faux pas the first time, I would have recovered with something witty on the phone. Hello, you called him back, that means there’s interest there.

My line would have been something like, “Baby, you know you’re my only young lady friend.”

That one always kills.

Lances last blog post..Working out a Sex Schedule?

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GLSD September 17, 2008 at 9:55 am

Why he was smooth in saying he has a situation, call me back… knowing you would be concerned! :)
A crush is nice to have, but after all these years, and that last date, I can see you two as just friends. Obviously he knew he screwed up so that’s why the phone call… I would just leave it at that! Friends w/ no benefits! LOL :)

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SIngle Mom in New England September 17, 2008 at 7:13 pm

“Friends with NO benefits”… made me laugh!

I hope you did tell him that you were mad at him when he asked… I’M still mad at him for having the audacity to stop mid-kiss and TEXT someone else!! I really hope he learned his lesson to turn his cellphone off next time before a date with potential. I admire your reserve-I’m afraid I would’ve grabbed his cell phone and thrown it out the window before slamming the door behind me!! You can take his package and mark it, Return to Sender!

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Lori September 18, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Oh, when you figure out how to deal with crushes let me know! lol But you know what..they are great in their own way.Your UPS man reminds me of a certain someone in my life right now.
He is a smooth talker that UPS man of yours. Do you think they teach them that? ;)

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tanasie September 23, 2008 at 11:16 am

I’m told that UPS men are totally reliable and awesome guys to date. They show up.
Although, my neighbor ended up having to get a restraining order from her UPS man and he’s now never allowed to deliver to our complex. But, that’s a different story.

tanasie’s last blog post..The Angry Little Jew

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Crystal September 29, 2008 at 11:40 am

I am heart sick in love with my UPS man,but i’m married.We have this chemistry that makes me feel like I should leave my husband.He wants me to,but he was to shy to let me know before I got married,and I broke his heart when he found out.I want children with this man.Please help!

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Linda d October 15, 2008 at 10:44 am

I have a crush on a fed ex man in Pennsylvania. He works in the East York area. He is so damn hot, and sexy. I just wanna kiss him all up. I love him in his uniform. He is such a nice guy. He takes my breath away. I wonder if he knows i have a twin sister who works at sheetz. How can I approach him, or find out his last name at least so i can send him another letter w/out using his license plate?. I am not a stalker.

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