Single Dad Seeking advice… and more

by singlemomseeking on September 24, 2008

Do you remember the single dad who was seeking advice this summer about the single mom whom he’d fallen for?

He wanted a relationship. But this single mom was very clear when he asked, “So, are we a couple?”

She just laughed and said ‘We are just friends with benefits.”

So, he visited the blog and asked: “Should I hang on and hope that things will turn around?

You, my dear readers, answered.

Blue Bella, for example, said:

“If at all possible try to remain friends if you can. . . but don’t be afraid to move on. There is a woman out there who’s ready to fall in love with you – when you’re available!”

(Side note here: Blue Bella had early contractions this week and is on bed rest in the hospital. Send her good vibes!)

Anyway, Joseph took all of your advice to heart. He just emailed me:

“Hello Rachel,

I  just wanted to thank you for the insight that I received from your readers.

I have moved on from the current quasi-relationship of being friends with benefits.

By the way, we are still good friends, just now without the benefits.”

Then, he went on to say:

Quite by accident I happened to be in a park with my kids and started talking to this woman. It was weird how we just connected with each other.

She’s a single mom, and I asked for her number……well, now we are seeing each other. It is an awesome experience to be truly with someone. We can talk about anything and everything. Hell she even made me breakfast in bed…no one has ever done that for me, ever!!”

Doesn’t that just make you feel all warm inside?

Speaking of getting teary-eyed, if you want to read the most heartwarming post of the week

check out Depot Dad.


Some days, my head is spinning with anecdotes, hearsay, and even deep thoughts. So, I’ll keep going.

If you’re single in L.A. and want to join the newest, savviest singles’ scene, go here: Singular City.

For single parents of teens, there’s a great piece in the premiere issue of Singular magazine by Casey Green about Dating: Is your teenager watching you?


Lastly, do you have any updates? Let’s hear ’em!

  • Does anyone have some hot dating news?
  • Did anyone get a new pet?
  • Is anyone going pumpkin picking this weekend?
  • How about your favorite blog post of the week?

Photo from cover of Singular magazine

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

tanasie September 25, 2008 at 8:21 pm

That’s sweet. I’m glad he wanted more, and he got it. Bed is really the best place to eat breakfast.

I think he could be a sitcom. A lot better than this week’s premier of Gary Unmarried. (Which I really wanted to be a better show.)

tanasie’s last blog post…A Diamond is Forever


Cynda September 25, 2008 at 5:28 pm

A friends with benefits “relationship” can never turn into a “real” one. Not going to happen. I had one for a year and was perfectly happy with the arrangement-(it was my idea from the beginning)until one day when he wanted more and I still wanted to keep it the way it was. Once the line has been crossed there is never going back either. Men are not ready for a modern woman who wants a only sex relationship despite what they say they want!

Cynda’s last blog post…Halloween Invitation


Lance September 25, 2008 at 1:55 pm

I’ll wade in. My take is approach every potential social interaction without the end goal of a relationship (or sex) in mind…simply meet people to find out who they are and network. If something develops, then grat. This takes all of the pressure off and makes it so it the economics don’t matter.

Keep in mind, it’s perfectly okay to go for a coffee with someone just to hear their story, and then make decisions down the road. Put the horse before the cart.

Good luck!

Lance’s last blog post…Calling All Bloggers! Let’s Talk Virgins!


T September 25, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Heck yeah!! Pass him a note Kim. But yes, keep it on the down low.

T’s last blog post…God in a box


singlemomseeking September 25, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Wow, Kim, how exciting!

This is what I hear:

You’d like to be with man who might become your life partner.

But taking the first step and opening yourself up can feel scary.

Here’s this cute security guard at your child’s school, and he has been checking you out. It’s very likely that he’s in a lower socio-economic bracket, but who knows?

If you haven’t spoken to him, you don’t know his story. Maybe he’s getting his PhD and this is his night job?

Here’s what I suggest: pass him a note. (Why not??)

Have boundaries on your date. Ask questions, have fun. Whatever happens, keep the sparks separate from the day care. You can give him a little wink as you walk into day care… but the other parents won’t have a clue.

Anyone else want to chime in here for the lovely Kim??


Kim September 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm

Hi Rache, i wanted your advice. I am in a pretty good job working with the government of Jamaica. I have a two year old and the security guard at her school is kinda cute and i think he is checking me out. Now, having been through a few bad experiences with men including her dad who is MIA…I would love to meet someone who I can settle down with. But then he is in a lower soci-economic bracket than me.. and I sm sure you can imagine the issues that can come along with that. As well as, how will it look for me, the parent of a chiild who attends the nursery school to date the guard? Whatr do you think> Do you think I should leave this alone, or slip him a note?

Kim’s last blog post…Fighting the Good Fight


Lance September 25, 2008 at 11:28 am

Sure, even playa’s have girlfriends. That’s the point of all that dating, right?

Lance’s last blog post..A Rough Night


dadshouse September 25, 2008 at 10:21 am

Just goes to show – when one door closes, another one opens…

dadshouse´s last blog post..Miley Cyrus Boyfriend Justin Gaston Too Old? Nah…


T September 25, 2008 at 9:08 am

Hmmm…. news? Well, my soldier is home in 3 weeks!!

What else?

Um, did I mention my soldier? Oh yeah, sorry.

Let’s see… ah… My soldier is coming home…. oh, well gosh, I guess I only have one thing on my mind at the moment. Sorry.


T´s last blog post..God in a box


The Exception September 25, 2008 at 8:33 am

I was already to comment and then read Lance’s comment… Lance has a girlfriend? The master of dating has a girlfriend? 😉

Now, where was I… That is great that the dad moved on. I do hope that he is happy!!

No pumpkin picking here and no new pets though my daughter thinks a kitten would be very cool. n

The Exception´s last blog post..KMAB Classes Begin


singlemomseeking September 25, 2008 at 7:47 am

A girlfriend? Did I miss something? You go Lance!


Lance September 25, 2008 at 6:18 am

I do! I do! I have a girlfriend…does that count?

Lance´s last blog post..Raffaella Fico: Yay! More Absurdly Expensive Virgins!


Linda Sherman September 25, 2008 at 12:09 am

Thank you for sharing Singular and SingularCity here.

I love your Group “Single Parents Dating” on

Linda Sherman´s last blog post..How a Blog Can Be a Birthday Gift


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